To think this is a fair allocation of bedrooms?

[Wintersbone]

We have just moved into our new house. We very purposefully bought a 5 bed so each of the kids DSS (19), DSD (16), DS (12) and DD (7) could each have their own room. Two of the kids bedrooms are slightly larger in area than the other two. I had planned to give the smaller two bedrooms to the stepkids on the premise that they aren't here as much but DSD is quite upset. She ran through the house and declared a bedroom "hers". She's fairly upset at not being given that bedroom and now the younger two are offering to give up theirs which is very sweet but feels wrong. Am I being a cow here?

@Wintersbone

DSD is lovely and I care for her very much. She is with us EOW and 1/2 holidays. The two slightly bigger bedrooms both have en suites. The smaller two share a jack and Jill with two sinks and one shower. DSS is at uni and realistically his room will double as a guest room. I originally thought I would just let DD swap with DSD but then sometimes DH's friends will stay (not that they aren't lovely!) but then they would be sharing a bathroom with DD which makes me a bit uneasy. DSD is old enough to lock the joining door when she's in there and then unlock it when she leaves.

This makes it easier for me.

I’d give teen girl (DSD) an en suite.

I’d give DS biggest of the Jack and Jill bedrooms and DSS smallest so the boys share a bathroom & guests share with DS (12).

I’d therefore give DD the last en suite.

@Chichimcgee

I'd go against the grain and say that as a 16 year old she has more need for a larger room than, say, a 7 year old. She's more likely to want some privacy and personal space, isn't she?

Privacy and personal space come with any size room and I’d argue that a 7 year old who lives there full time will have more clothes and toys and use the space more than a 16 year old who isn’t there full time.

What I mean is that a 16 year old is likely to spend far more time in their room than elsewhere in the house, in search of privacy and their own space, speaking from experience. Certainly more time than a 7 year old.

There are plenty of arguments against. I just don’t feel comfortable with the step child automatically getting the smaller room. It’s hardly their fault their life is split between two houses and if there are other factors (like age) it should only be one of many things taken into consideration

Seeing the update I also agree that I’d give the two girls the en-suite rooms. As a teenager that would have been amazing and I can see why she’s bagsed a room! The two boys can share the other bathroom - what 16 year old girl wants to share a bathroom with a teenage boy if she doesn’t have to?!

Of course it’s fair, I wouldn’t even ask on MN a child that is only there eow should not get the biggest room. No one irl would do that.

Girls ensuite although I don't really think a 7 year old needs one, and the boys can share.

I wouldn’t give kids who are there only EOW the biggest/en-suite rooms.

She’s 16? A 16 yo should be a bit more mature than that tbh. It doesn’t really make sense for a large en-suite room to be standing empty half the time.

A 16 y o is only a couple of years off leaving home/going to uni, and her focus should really be on other things than who gets the larger bedroom tbh. She should at that age have a bit more concern for her younger siblings.

What you’ve proposed sounds fine and perfectly sensible!

@NoSquirrels

Write 1-4 on pieces of paper. Each draw one. Choose rooms in that order.

Yup.

Neither you nor DSD should be allocating rooms unilaterally. All the DC are old enough for an equal vote.

The OP paid for the house, I'm guessing that the kids didn't! I think she gets to allocate the bedrooms in her own house.

Is she likely to be going to uni in 2 years? A 16 yo girl will definitely have a preference for an en-suite, understandably. Id let her have it for two years only, and then your dc can have the rooms with en-suites.

Though is she also planning on going to uni? In that case you could give her and your DD an en-suite room each, but ask her to agree that she will give it up to your DS when she goes to uni as she won’t be using it much at all then.

Why on earth is everyone saying give the girls en-suites? I can’t see why they ought to get them in preference over boys.

I’d go with your original allocation OP.

I’d let her have the en-suite room.

Girls get the en suites, boys share a bathroom.

Giving a large en suite room to a boy away at university or a girl who is there for 2/3 nights out of 14 instead of kids who live there full time, seems crazy!

Ds(7) in the room closest to yours, then on based on same sex sharing the Jack and jill.

@22Newnames

Why on earth is everyone saying give the girls en-suites? I can’t see why they ought to get them in preference over boys.

I’d go with your original allocation OP.

Because the eldest child is rarely there and hasn't stated a preference. He may as well have the smallest no en-suite. Makes more sense that he share a bathroom with another male., The child that has stated a preference is a girl.

Have you got a floor plan OP, we love a diagram on Mumsnet. ;)

I know that people are making sensible suggestions based on the rooms/bathrooms available but I do find it funny that some people seem to almost suggest siblings/step-siblings of opposite sex can't share a bathroom.
When I was younger at one point we had 4 siblings/step siblings in 2 bedrooms all sharing 1 family bathroom with parents too.

@Howshouldibehave

Giving a large en suite room to a boy away at university or a girl who is there for 2/3 nights out of 14 instead of kids who live there full time, seems crazy!

Why?

Why give the girls ensuite? For me it would be because a) they don't miss the toilet and pee on the seat or floor b) they are in there far longer than boys.
If the DSS room is to be used as a guest room, what guest wants to wait for a 16 year old girl to finish wallowing in a bath bomb, shaving her legs, exfoliating, and whatever else they get up to, before they can use the toilet.

I would let her have one ensuite, dd have the other ensuite and ds share the jack and Jill with DSS. However explain that then her room will become the guest room rather than DSS room. Then each child who is there all the time has a bathroom to themselves most of the time. A guest also never has to share bathroom with a child but she will need to accept that when she is not there her room will be used by others which means it needs to be left tidy. If she isn't happy with that then she needs to go in one of the smaller bedrooms. At 16 she is old enough for your dh to have that discussion with her and make her choice.

*This makes it easier for me.

I’d give teen girl (DSD) an en suite.

I’d give DS biggest of the Jack and Jill bedrooms and DSS smallest so the boys share a bathroom & guests share with DS (12).

I’d therefore give DD the last en suite.*

This is what I was thinking as well. It seems the bigger rooms are only slightly bigger going by what OP has said, so doesn't sound like the resident children will be stuck in poky box rooms, so I think an en-suite room for DSD is fair.

Sorry not sure why the bold function didn't work

Is there a general family bathroom for guests to use that isn't attached to a bedroom?