DH fought with me for asking a questiom

[user1471554720]

DH and I were talking about the shortage of council houses. I said that part of reason for the shortage is the government allowed tenants to purchase houses years ago and didn"t build replacement houses.

Then he asked if my grandparents house was originally a council house. I asked him why he is asking that? My grandparents house is terraced but round our way the council houses are a certain style and my grandparents house was not in that style.

Then he started shouting and said 'how dare he ask this". He was trying to bring out that I was offended at being asked about the council house. Did I get it wrong?

Should I just have answered the question?

I am normally very quiet and sometimes when I say something in a conversation, a person at work may try and give a smirk.

In recent years, I am 50, I have asked people when I am unsure about something. When I was younger, people would ask me questions or say cutting things, trying to give me a dig. This is despite the fact that I would be sure I had not offended them.

@youvegottenminuteslynn well I’m sorry but the fact this guy man is abusive was quite clear right from the start.
I actually said that earlier on and got shot down.

Thé issue isn’t that the OP isn’t clear. She was clear.
It’s the fact MN can often be like a primary school playground and once a few posters have gone down one route, everyone else piles in wo much thought.

@user1471554720 you were very clear in your posts.If anything what comes out is that you are frightened to say the wrong thing/the wrong word (and yes posters didn’t help there). There is nothing wrong with your english.
And yes he DID try and trip you over. The fact you know you have changed and become quieter etc… says it all.

My advice on that would be to go and see a counsellor. You need to get out of that marriage that is slowly destroying you. Talk to people in RL, get support. You shouldn’t be living like this always wondering if you are going to be trouble for saying the wrong thing.

He is awful OP.

A nasty bully.

Please call Womens aid for a chat.

It might help you see its not you, its HIM.

You work thankfully.
I think you would be far happier on your own.

Tell family and friends how awful he is and plan your escape.

This is NOT you.

@Aderyn21

This doesn't sound like a kind or loving marriage. The husband doesn't sound nice to me. Sulking is a very unattractive trait! Perhaps you two need some professional help to see if it's a communication issue or an incompatibility one! Some workplaces are bitchy and one persons becomes the default bullied one. I don't necessarily agree that because this happens it's entirely due the OP's behaviour. I think she sounds like someone who's been worn down and doesn't know how to get out of this situation. And isn't helped by a husband who goes mad if she talks about anything personal to anyone. And who seems very judgemental about people who have the OPs background - it would be hard not to take that personally. You'd only have to combine a difficult husband with a bout of bitchy behaviour at work (and people do demonstrate pack behaviour if they think they can get away with it) and you end up with a person who feels they can't speak at all without it being taken the wrong way.

Yes, well said! The way some PPs are reacting to what the OP is saying only proves it! The OP does sound worn down and I think she needs help and maybe to separate from her DH. I think it seems like she can't do right for doing wrong, which would wear anyone down eventually!