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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To flick my daughter the V behind her back?

218 replies

AvocadoHo · 11/02/2022 16:25

For context, she's 8 (going on 15 with the attitude and arguing that black is white just for the sake of it) she made some such comment on the way home from school today so I flicked her the v out of pure frustration!

She didn't see. (And even if she did probably has no idea what it means)

BUT.... another mother in the school run saw and I got the filthiest look! Confused

OP posts:
BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 07:34

@Mo1911

I honestly can't believe this thread and how common this behaviour seems to be. I despair of people doing this to their children. For goodness sake grow up and get a grip! What chance do your children stand with your behaviours as an example!!!
They'll be flipping the V to their own children.🤷‍♀️

Everyone will survive.

I'm not sure if the correlation between parents who flip the V behind their children so backs and people that end up being dysfunctional, you seem to have knowledge though, so what is it?

notanothertakeaway · 12/02/2022 07:37

I'd never do that

SartresSoul · 12/02/2022 07:49

Haha we’ve definitely all felt like this at some point. My 10 year old DD frustrates me to no end at times so I’ve muttered all sorts under my breath in another room.

usernameshistory · 12/02/2022 08:37

@WitchWithoutChips

Yeah, this is one of those parallel universe threads where if I answer honestly that I’ve never done this, and never seen anyone else do it, I’ll be labelled a sanctimonious twat. No ta. Crack on.
Quite! I wouldn't even do it to my own cats 😂 But a child?! Whilst waving goodbye?! Some very disturbing and psychologically ill people out there....
Jennyfromthere · 12/02/2022 08:52

@usernameshistory
Disturbing and psychologically Ill?
Drama much.

Cornettoninja · 12/02/2022 08:57

Some very disturbing and psychologically ill people out there

Do me a favour! That’s analysis is wildly out of proportion.

Fair enough if you don’t ‘get it’ but people are different and a huge proportion don’t consider mild expletives and gestures akin to spitting in someone’s face. You might think that’s crass, common etc. but that’s on you, you can’t change how other people communicate.

I adore my dd but she’s a whole separate human being who has flaws and can be a dick. My job is to put her straight and remain calm about it so if to do that I allow myself to express annoyance at her dick moves in a way she isn’t aware of I don’t see the problem. It’s better than passive aggressive sighing and eye rolling right in front of her to shame her like I see a lot of parents using to deal with similar behaviour.

If someone had enough self control to wait until their dc has stopped paying them attention/moved away to express their annoyance they’re likely doing much less damage than someone who can’t control their annoyance even if they express it ‘politely’.

RussianSpy101 · 12/02/2022 09:07

@usernameshistory you’re right; some of you are! It isn’t psychologically healthy to consider yourself so above others!

NoWordForFluffy · 12/02/2022 09:22

@Lovemattersmost

Horrible tbh Sorry Hope that makes you think twice
Nah. Makes me want to do it more! 🤷‍♀️🤣

My fridge has also be told to fuck off on occasion. And DH and I sometimes say it to each other about the irritating child who's just left the room (quietly).

Endoftether2000 · 12/02/2022 09:24

Don't worry everyone for people like @usernamehistory, no doubt some people (they may even be from their own family) have flagged them off or muttered expletives under their breath. They just have not been caught.😅🤣😂😅
It is like the woman in the supermarket who's five year old flagged her off when she was not allowed any sweets. The woman asked her daughter why she would do that. The daughter responded that it is what Daddy does everytime you leave the room after you have been shouting at him, for not doing something.

DearlyBeloathed · 12/02/2022 10:07

Quite! I wouldn't even do it to my own cats 😂 But a child?! Whilst waving goodbye?! Some very disturbing and psychologically ill people out there....

Oh, I'd love to flick you the V in real life Grin

Onlywomengivebirth · 12/02/2022 10:27

This has made me think twice about admitting to violent, Hitchcock-esque, stabbing motions to a retreating family member.

Onlywomengivebirth · 12/02/2022 10:27

Oh…

Oops.

Opus17 · 12/02/2022 10:29

Haha this made me laugh out loud. I wouldn't judge you at all if I saw this!

Phobiaphobic · 12/02/2022 11:10

@BarkminsterBlue I used the term teenager loosely. Eight is easily old enough for girls to start giving their mothers hell.

Phobiaphobic · 12/02/2022 11:14

Goodness, there's some prim little misses on here.

Mummadeze · 12/02/2022 11:17

I think it is a bit disrespectful towards your child but I don’t swear much and have never made that kind of hand gesture towards anyone, so I probably don’t get it. I know some families have very different ways of doing things and relationships. My DD never winds me up either. My partner on the other hand. Maybe I should try out the V sign on him to see how it feels!

BarkminsterBlue · 12/02/2022 11:29

[quote Phobiaphobic]@BarkminsterBlue I used the term teenager loosely. Eight is easily old enough for girls to start giving their mothers hell.[/quote]
So much easier just to acknowledge that you misread the OP. Happens to all of us.

NoWordForFluffy · 12/02/2022 11:54

@Phobiaphobic

Goodness, there's some prim little misses on here.
As is ever the way.

Try saying you flick the Vs whilst on your third alcoholic drink of the day...that'll bring 'em out in droves! 😱🤣

ThanksItHasPockets · 12/02/2022 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/02/2022 11:58

If I saw you I’d laugh! And probably think you were my type of person.

ThanksItHasPockets · 12/02/2022 12:05

Sorry, wrong thread! 🤦🏻‍♀️

BABAHOTEL · 12/02/2022 12:49

@usernameshistory get out of here with your drama!!

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/02/2022 13:06

@Onlywomengivebirth

This has made me think twice about admitting to violent, Hitchcock-esque, stabbing motions to a retreating family member.
😂 I've done that too
Thenose · 12/02/2022 13:52

Many posts are relying on the privacy of the act to justify its harmlessness. What's the harm if the child doesn't see? How naive. The op was seen doing it. It wasn't private; it was public.

The assertion that every parent finds it impossibly difficult to regulate their feelings without making hand gestures is laughable. The comments that argue that 'everyone does it and anyone who says they don't is a liar' look daft to those of us who don't do it.

I think there's a good chance that those who say they wouldn't mind their friends or family doing this to them in public when their back is turned are talking utter bullshit, or need to up their standards.

I don't do this, because I try to treat my kids the way I want to be treated and I wouldn't want it done to me. It's not because I'm perfect or 'prissy'. I could do better in many areas, but 'respect' represents a pretty low rung of the parenting ladder. If it represents an impossibly high standard for you, that's not my problem.

Cornettoninja · 12/02/2022 15:55

@Thenose

Many posts are relying on the privacy of the act to justify its harmlessness. What's the harm if the child doesn't see? How naive. The op was seen doing it. It wasn't private; it was public.

The assertion that every parent finds it impossibly difficult to regulate their feelings without making hand gestures is laughable. The comments that argue that 'everyone does it and anyone who says they don't is a liar' look daft to those of us who don't do it.

I think there's a good chance that those who say they wouldn't mind their friends or family doing this to them in public when their back is turned are talking utter bullshit, or need to up their standards.

I don't do this, because I try to treat my kids the way I want to be treated and I wouldn't want it done to me. It's not because I'm perfect or 'prissy'. I could do better in many areas, but 'respect' represents a pretty low rung of the parenting ladder. If it represents an impossibly high standard for you, that's not my problem.

That’s an awful lot of words to say ‘don’t make abstract judgments on something I do therefore feel personally attacked when I’m clearly better than you’

that's not my problem

Excellent.