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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To flick my daughter the V behind her back?

218 replies

AvocadoHo · 11/02/2022 16:25

For context, she's 8 (going on 15 with the attitude and arguing that black is white just for the sake of it) she made some such comment on the way home from school today so I flicked her the v out of pure frustration!

She didn't see. (And even if she did probably has no idea what it means)

BUT.... another mother in the school run saw and I got the filthiest look! Confused

OP posts:
speakout · 11/02/2022 17:21

We've all done it.

No we haven't.

IncompleteSenten · 11/02/2022 17:21

I've done it in the house. Very childish but good for releasing tension.
Ive never done it in public though. I'm not sure I'd want people to see 😁

BABAHOTEL · 11/02/2022 17:21

I found repeating fuck off, just fuck off under my breath to be very rewarding.

Dagnabit · 11/02/2022 17:23

YANBU. I’ve done it before. Also, telling them to go fuck themselves (under my breath, in another room). I also flick the bird at my husband sometimes, in the dark when we’re in bed if he’s pissed me off. It’s very cathartic.

Sarcobaleno · 11/02/2022 17:24

If I saw a mum doing that in the playground she'd be the one I'd want to be friends with

BurnedToast · 11/02/2022 17:26

I do it all the time. They are teens and deserve it as they can be very annoying.

I also used to sing nursery rhymes with my own wording when they were babies and woke me up a billion times a night for months on end. I think the rockabye baby song became 'shut the fuck up, I am knackered'. If that's the worse it gets I think we are doing well. Grin

Picklesandbeans · 11/02/2022 17:27

I have an 8 year old dd. I have done this and completely understand.

RevolvingPivot · 11/02/2022 17:30

😂😂

Hibye23289 · 11/02/2022 17:31

@Inspectorslack you may not know she did it behind your back haha! Grin

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 11/02/2022 17:32

@Thenose

How would you feel if your partner did the same thing to you in front of the school mums? Would it be okay as long as you didn't see it?

How do you think your daughter will feel if the other mum's kid tells her: "My mum said your mum is horrible 'cause she tells you to fuck off; my mum would never do that"?

There's always one, lol.

I've done it to DH when he's pissed me off and I'm pretty certain he's done it to me too. It really doesn't upset or offend me in the slightest.

But mostly I tell him to fuck off to his face these days Grin

Cosmos123 · 11/02/2022 17:32
Grin It helps relieve Stress.
longwayoff · 11/02/2022 17:32

She's 8 and you're how old?

megletthesecond · 11/02/2022 17:32

I do this from another room.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 11/02/2022 17:32

DS1 caught me doing it once.

He was so shocked he burst out laughing. We both did.

ThisIsJeopardy · 11/02/2022 17:33

It's horrible that you did it where others could see.

At home, in private, with her back turned or from the other side of a door? Fine, blows off steam as you said.

Publicly disrespecting her where her peers and their parents can see you do it? Awful. As pp said, if you knew someone did that to you while others looked on, you'd surely feel humiliated and disrespected.

Would you, at 8, want to be seen by your social group / their own parents as someone whose own mother can't stand her? Not nice.

billy1966 · 11/02/2022 17:34

Husband and I have definitely done that to my eldests retreating back a few times.

We find it most amusing.

2anddone · 11/02/2022 17:34

Do it through the wall to mine all the time...it's just a natural part of parenting I think 😉

Howtotameyourtoddler · 11/02/2022 17:34

@Sarcobaleno

If I saw a mum doing that in the playground she'd be the one I'd want to be friends with
^^ same.

Those pious, perfect parents who are aghast at the idea of flipping the V behind their kid's back are not my people. They should try it some time, very cathartic.

ThisIsJeopardy · 11/02/2022 17:35

I'm not saying you can't stand your daughter, by the way. But that's the message you will have sent by doing that in front of other parents.

HughGrantsHair · 11/02/2022 17:35

If YABU then I ABU. All the time.

billy1966 · 11/02/2022 17:35

I mean in the house of course.

RussianSpy101 · 11/02/2022 17:35

What @WindyState said!!

Anyone who says they don’t is a LIAR 😂

Belledan1 · 11/02/2022 17:36

I did it sitting on the back seat of car to DH and teenager Ds who in front. Cant remember why. DS saw me in the mirror he had pulled down. Whoops lol

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 11/02/2022 17:39

Ya I do this behind their backs too. Not my finer moments of parenting but there you go

FKATondelayo · 11/02/2022 17:39

There was a similar thread to this on MN a few years back and the response was very different - "you need to control yourself, set an example, be an adult, it's emotional abuse"

Several lockdowns later and things have changed. Grin

YANBU I do this to my DC and not just behind their back either - to their faces and they do it back. It's a great stress reliever for all of us. When we're angry it defuses the situation and we end up laughing. We only do it in private though.

I tell my dog to fuck off as well.