Posting on MN because I'd just like to hear the opinions of others.
DP always gets DD in the morning so I'm able to sleep in until 8:30/9ish. I wasn't really feeling that tired so I came out of the bedroom to see no one was in the living room and had assumed they went for a walk or went to the shops or something. When DP gets back and pushes the pushchair in the living room, I see both of DDs coats on the table. I said 'what coat did you put on her' and he just looked at me like he'd been caught out and didn't say anything. As he's taking DD out of the buggy, I can see she's just in her sleepsuit. I said, 'you took the baby outside without a coat on??' Bearing in mind he has a nice warm coat on himself AND a hat. Yet DD has been taken outside with just a vest and a sleepsuit? He also picked one of the lighter covers to put on her which was barely on her. When he gave her to me, her hands, face and neck were freezing. I'm not exaggerating, she was honestly so cold.
My issue is, things like this isn't a one off. Last month I went to my mum's house and stayed over for one night just to have a break as I was exhausted. When I came back something told me to ask DP if he'd left DD alone at any point. One time I was at an appointment and called to check they were okay, DP said 'yeah she's fine she's sleeping, I'm just going downstairs to take the bin out.' I obviously told him he shouldn't leave her but that's just always stuck in my mind. Anyways! I asked him if he'd left her alone and he said he went across the road to Sainsbury's when she was asleep in the night. I said 'why the hell did you leave her? We didn't need formula, nappy or wipes so what was so important that you needed to get??' He told me he went to get Ben & Jerry's ice cream😕
I just don't understand. You always see people being told they're being precious and whatnot but this guy is so lax when it comes to DD that it's honestly a joke. It's like he's not a real person and doesn't consider ANY dangerous when it comes to DD. Taking her outside without a coat on in the middle of Winter, leaving her by herself to go and get ice cream. It just sounds like some sort of prank. I also had a post not long ago about him and his mum turning DDs rear facing car seat to front face when that's not even something that can be done???
I seriously need help. We're expecting again and I just don't know how to get him to understand that careless behaviour doesn't work when you have kids. He always used to be extra careful with DD and now it's as if he thinks she's 15 years old and doesn't need to be properly cared for or something. Am I the one being precious/hormonal or what?? Arghhh help me MN lol
AIBU?
DP has taken 9 month old DD outside without a coat on
astroboy45 · 08/02/2022 10:21
Oh my god I am lost for words.
I would be furious.
Does he know about the one more extra layer than us?
Leaving her on her own!!! I can't even comprehend? What if she woke and started crying/ chocking/ ANYTHING??? Bizarre behaviour.
Have you tried to have a chat about this? He can't go leaving your new baby alone at say 4 weeks because he wants ice cream 
Of course you’re not being precious or hormonal 
And it’s not one mistake. I remember the forward facing infant carrier thread. Now it’s leaving a baby alone to buy ice cream and failing to dress her properly. What will it be next and are you confident that the next time won’t be the time she comes to serious harm? The only thing you can do is never, ever leave him alone with the kids because they’re not safe in his care.
Nothing wrong with nipping down to the bin
Going shopping , definitely not.
How old is the baby? I think they'd have made themselves known if they'd been freezing. Also what sort of buggy, sleep suit in a cozy toes type cover isn't the same as a sleep suit in a maclaren type buggy with no padding at all.
I disagree with PP. The coat thing is a big deal. Saying “it’s not that cold today”- you don’t know where op lives? The baby came home ice cold, that is not acceptable. Would you like to go for a walk early on a February morning wearing just your pjs??
As for the rest of the issues listed I’m gobsmacked that he’s left alone with the baby at all. What’s wrong with him? He sounds utterly incompetent. I think you need to set out a few ground rules and really spell things out to him. E.g., 1. You install the car seat the way I show you, 2. Never leave the house without the baby (
) (except to take bins out), 3. If your wearing a coat then baby needs a coat.
I really do feel sorry for you op- you deserve him to be a responsible father.
@RandomQuest
And it’s not one mistake. I remember the forward facing infant carrier thread. Now it’s leaving a baby alone to buy ice cream and failing to dress her properly. What will it be next and are you confident that the next time won’t be the time she comes to serious harm? The only thing you can do is never, ever leave him alone with the kids because they’re not safe in his care.@RandomQuest this is exactly what my mum's been saying!! So bizzare because all these things have happened in the last 2ish months but my mum has literally said the same thing. The next thing he does may cause harm so it seems as if DD can't be left with him because no one knows what sort of stunt he's going to pull. It's so ridiculous tbh, I don't have time to be dealing with stupidity. Especially when we're expecting another. If you can't even keep your kids safe then what's the point of you being around them😕
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.