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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH gave his female coworker a lift home past midnight

364 replies

Hexagonmum · 05/02/2022 22:49

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not.
A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight!
This I'm not going to lie really got my back up.
Am I reading too much into this???

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2022 00:42

I hope your husband never learns how little you think of him. He deserves better.

Cherryberrybonbon · 06/02/2022 00:43

Omg the dogooders on here 😂

I’d be miffed too just because he hadn’t said oh I’m taking so and so home and then going to get maccies. Clearly something wasn’t happening as he had offered to get food, but I get you!!

HappyDays40 · 06/02/2022 00:44

He obviously should have let her walk home alone in the dark and passing rainConfused

Sumtimesiamgreen · 06/02/2022 00:46

I had really good sesh last night with Barry before he dropped me off at home. I was a bit miffed when he phoned his wife to see what she wanted from maccas on his way past. He could have let me get of the car first.

AuntTwacky · 06/02/2022 00:47

Ok let's stop having a go at the poor OP now...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/02/2022 00:48

I find it more strange that you were in bed but thought it was normal to eat a McDonalds after having already gone to bed shock

This.

AuntTwacky · 06/02/2022 00:49

You really shouldn't eat McDonald's after midnight tho

DropYourSword · 06/02/2022 00:51

@AuntTwacky

You really shouldn't eat McDonald's after midnight tho
Why, is OP a mogwai?!
SeeminglyOblivious · 06/02/2022 00:52

I don't understand the relevance of 'after midnight' at all.

I mean, if I thought my DH was having backseat car sex with a Co worker I'd be just as upset if it was at 10pm rather than 1am Confused

JeffThePilot · 06/02/2022 00:58

@CockingASnook

Who would be in bed after midnight and think 'I could really do with a McDonalds right now'?!
I mean, I’m in bed and it’s 1am, but I had a big glass of wine earlier and now you’ve posed that question… I probably could.
MiMw · 06/02/2022 01:03

Sound ok but is the bit that he didn’t tell you and you heard her voice what has upset you? I understand that

Chichimcgee · 06/02/2022 01:06

He probably dropped her off, went to get McDonald’s and would have said ‘night was ok, just dropped Sharon off. Pete did this thing lol how was your evening’ because it’s not a big deal at all.

purplecorkheart · 06/02/2022 01:08

Op, I am glad you see that he did the right thing but I think you need to self reflect on your initial reaction.

Hawkins001 · 06/02/2022 01:10

@Hexagonmum

I figured I was being unreasonable and he does have a heart of gold. Thanks ladies for getting my head on right...so glad I didn't overreact last night and just kept it normal while I figured out my feelings about it.
On the opposite side , had it been a male friend then how would your perspectives be ? Unless you have reason to suspect unfavourable aspects of your oh, psychological behaviour, then could it be considered that you have to have faith and trust in your dh , to be faithful ?
mugoftea456 · 06/02/2022 01:12

I would be disappointed in my DP if he left a women co worker to walk/cab when he could give her a lift and make sure she was safe.

ilovesooty · 06/02/2022 01:12

@Jennifer2r

I agree with OP, it's the fact that it's past midnight that makes it really bad, I'd let a male colleague give me a lift home at 11.30pm but no later Confused
Is this serious?
StarlightLady · 06/02/2022 01:33

OP, so on this basis, a bisexual person should never give anyone a lift ever???

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/02/2022 01:48

I think the real question here is 'Do you trust your husband?'

StoppinBy · 06/02/2022 01:51

It wouldn't bother me unless I already suspected something was going on.

I would think a person who left their work mate to walk home at that time was a pretty shite person though. Is that what you think he should have done?

Sagealicious · 06/02/2022 02:31

Do you have reason to suspect your husband? Or do you have trust issues?

More importantly though, was the straw in the drink when you got it? Cause I really hate when they do that especially when it's Coke cause I find the drink goes flatter quicker. Or even worse when you order an iced Coke and they only fill it up halfway but they charge extra for it.

Yaya26 · 06/02/2022 02:32

Were you afraid she'd eat your chicken nuggets??

1forAll74 · 06/02/2022 02:58

Good grief, is he not allowed to give a person a lift home, female or not. Better not think that he might have bought her a burger too ha ha.

RedRobin100 · 06/02/2022 03:08

After midnight?

Momijin · 06/02/2022 03:10

Glad you've seen sense. I'd be more worried if he hadn't. Totally normal to offer a lift to anyone especially when public transport is finsihed.

expat101 · 06/02/2022 03:56

He probably could have worded it better and say I'm just giving J a lift home as it's so late and I'm going via McDonalds, do you want anything?

That way you know she is in the car, you know he is being open with his colleague as to his family status, and everyone gets the choice of Maccas or not.

but never mind, I think he was still honest in making the call to you in front of the work colleague.