DH gave his female coworker a lift home past midnight

[Hexagonmum]

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not.
A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight!
This I'm not going to lie really got my back up.
Am I reading too much into this???

I would be cross with my DH if I found out he'd left a potentially tipsy female colleague to make her way home on her own that late when he could easily give her a lift and get her home safely tbh!

The fact that he'd offered to bring me food on the way home would be a bonus!

Unless he's got form for cheating etc then it wouldn't even enter my kind to be bothered about this.

Like others have said, would you prefer it if your husband said 'Don't worry darling, left my co-worker to walk home alone so you didn't get jealous!'

No trust, no relationship, well, not one worth having anyways!

Funny contrast to the post about OP being outraged her DD's (20) friend dad didn't give her a lift and let her wait for the bus after 11pm...

No you are not. Whilst I’m not saying he’s having an affair or about to start one, this is exactly how affairs can start. The best thing he could have done was to let you know this is what he was doing, dropping a female colleague home late. That way, he would have openly signalled his faithfulness to you in front of her especially as we don’t know what was on her mind (does she enjoy his company enough to accept a lift??). And why did she make a noise knowing he is speaking to his wife?? Does she want to be known? Also, was there no one else to drop her home? Why him? Whose idea was it? Hers, his or someone else? You have a right to not feel easy about it for all sorts of reasons. Bottom line is, it might all have been innocent, but transparency and his openness of his faithfulness to you would may have been enough to assure you that everything is above board. All sorts of other questions I have, but I’ll leave it here. And no, I am not the jealous type!

@Libby98765

No you are not. Whilst I’m not saying he’s having an affair or about to start one, this is exactly how affairs can start. The best thing he could have done was to let you know this is what he was doing, dropping a female colleague home late. That way, he would have openly signalled his faithfulness to you in front of her especially as we don’t know what was on her mind (does she enjoy his company enough to accept a lift??). And why did she make a noise knowing he is speaking to his wife?? Does she want to be known? Also, was there no one else to drop her home? Why him? Whose idea was it? Hers, his or someone else? You have a right to not feel easy about it for all sorts of reasons. Bottom line is, it might all have been innocent, but transparency and his openness of his faithfulness to you would may have been enough to assure you that everything is above board. All sorts of other questions I have, but I’ll leave it here. And no, I am not the jealous type!

Wow paranoid much!

Why should he run an innocent thing as running a female colleague home past his wife. If he was hiding something he wouldn't have answered her call with the female colleague in the car.

If I drive somewhere and someone hasn't I'll offer a lift male or female. Hadn't thought that it could lead to an affair. Silly me!🤦🏻‍♀️

@Libby98765

No you are not. Whilst I’m not saying he’s having an affair or about to start one, this is exactly how affairs can start. The best thing he could have done was to let you know this is what he was doing, dropping a female colleague home late. That way, he would have openly signalled his faithfulness to you in front of her especially as we don’t know what was on her mind (does she enjoy his company enough to accept a lift??). And why did she make a noise knowing he is speaking to his wife?? Does she want to be known? Also, was there no one else to drop her home? Why him? Whose idea was it? Hers, his or someone else? You have a right to not feel easy about it for all sorts of reasons. Bottom line is, it might all have been innocent, but transparency and his openness of his faithfulness to you would may have been enough to assure you that everything is above board. All sorts of other questions I have, but I’ll leave it here. And no, I am not the jealous type!

…er, yeah, you are.

If I drive somewhere and someone hasn't I'll offer a lift male or female. Hadn't thought that it could lead to an affair. Silly me!🤦🏻‍♀️

If the only reason someone isn't having an affair is because they refuse to be alone with a person like ever then you have far bigger problems than a lift home.

The whole point of trusting someone is that they could be alone in a room surrounded by naked men/women and not act. If you need to micro manage their interactions you have no trust amd no relationship

I understand your sentiment and feeling. I’d be slightly uneasy too and would want to sense-check my reaction with others anonymously. I think it’s perfectly natural for someone to feel a little uneasy even if everything is innocent. If he’d said ahead of time, I’m giving x a lift home as its on the way, and I’m going past mcdees …. then you’d feel in the know. Its hearing the laugh in the car and having to ask(!). Colleagues give colleagues lifts all the time, usually, almost always, colleagues are also valued friends. Breathe. And know that it’s entirely natural to feel a bit off-kilter, but that pang of worry, is just a pang. Its not a bell-chiming. A pang is the gentle reminder that you’re invested in this person, that you care and that you’re lucky you have someone to chomp down late-night McDonalds with.

@Libby98765

No you are not. Whilst I’m not saying he’s having an affair or about to start one, this is exactly how affairs can start. The best thing he could have done was to let you know this is what he was doing, dropping a female colleague home late. That way, he would have openly signalled his faithfulness to you in front of her especially as we don’t know what was on her mind (does she enjoy his company enough to accept a lift??). And why did she make a noise knowing he is speaking to his wife?? Does she want to be known? Also, was there no one else to drop her home? Why him? Whose idea was it? Hers, his or someone else? You have a right to not feel easy about it for all sorts of reasons. Bottom line is, it might all have been innocent, but transparency and his openness of his faithfulness to you would may have been enough to assure you that everything is above board. All sorts of other questions I have, but I’ll leave it here. And no, I am not the jealous type!

100 % agreed!

There are many factors I’d take into account about the posters relationship before I go down this route, but from what she posted, I do have questions and I would ask them. I’m curious about his transparency with his wife and how he protects the integrity of their relationship when he is with another female. I also could also equally ask you, why would he not tell his wife that he was dropping whoever home, why did she have to hear a female voice to be alerted to that? What did he think she would say (maybe she is jealous and he didn’t want to deal with the hassle, maybe he had something to hide, maybe he is genuinely kind with no strings, or maybe he is oblivious or naive to the intentions of the other woman???, who knows which one of these things it was - but you cannot rule out any of these possibilities)…. A wife would simply be wise to explore the context a bit more before making a simple assumption that her husband was doing a kind act. If you show your husband you assume this too quickly, at least without being curious about the context, you will make it easy, if he was that kind of person, for him to have an affair. If he gets defensive about being questioned, I’d worry about how they communicate, or how she feels in tackling potentially prickly situations… she should also be careful in how she asks questions and not be accusatory/interrogational…

You understand it Catona. It’s good to have a curious and analytical mind.

@Libby98765

No you are not. Whilst I’m not saying he’s having an affair or about to start one, this is exactly how affairs can start. The best thing he could have done was to let you know this is what he was doing, dropping a female colleague home late. That way, he would have openly signalled his faithfulness to you in front of her especially as we don’t know what was on her mind (does she enjoy his company enough to accept a lift??). And why did she make a noise knowing he is speaking to his wife?? Does she want to be known? Also, was there no one else to drop her home? Why him? Whose idea was it? Hers, his or someone else? You have a right to not feel easy about it for all sorts of reasons. Bottom line is, it might all have been innocent, but transparency and his openness of his faithfulness to you would may have been enough to assure you that everything is above board. All sorts of other questions I have, but I’ll leave it here. And no, I am not the jealous type!

Heist suck little faith in people!

would you rather he left a woman alone to get home past midnight with the amount of women who get attacked?

If you trust your hubby then there is no problem as he is being a gentleman but if you dont trust him then it's not the fact he gave her a lift past midnight that is the issue.

I understand your discomfort and I would not have liked it. Why didn’t he say ‘I’m giving X a lift first, but do you fancy a McD…’
You would have felt totally differently.
However, you did hear her voice so she was hardly being secretive. And he was picking up food for you both.
It could be a con but you know your DP. If my DH did the same, no problem. If my previous husband did it, I wouldn’t believe a word of it.
YANBU because I’ve been there. Hopefully, your DH is totally innocent 😊