Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH gave his female coworker a lift home past midnight

364 replies

Hexagonmum · 05/02/2022 22:49

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not.
A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight!
This I'm not going to lie really got my back up.
Am I reading too much into this???

OP posts:
CrinklyCraggy · 06/02/2022 22:19

I'd think he had some staying power to be at works drink until midnight if he wasn't drinking. Get the man a medal Grin

When I'm driving I offer a lift to anyone who needs one, if they're vaguely in my direction. It's nothjng to do with them needing my protection, just that they need to get home.

Likewise, I'm perfectly capable of getting myself home but if a kind man someone offers me a lift I'm going to take it.

Margerine78 · 07/02/2022 17:35

He wouldn't have picked up the phone if he was having some affair, and he wouldn't be calling you for take-out orders as he was clearly on way home. I'd be worried if I had a partner who DIDN'T think to give a woman a lift home in the middle of the night! Aren't we always telling men to understand the danger we face doing such things?

ElvinBoys · 07/02/2022 17:44

Sounds like the issue is that you don’t trust your husband otherwise you wouldn’t specify female. You need to have a long hard look at your relationship I think cos I know if it were my husband I wouldn’t think twice about it.

bananaleafy · 07/02/2022 17:47

Im shocked about the late night burger and fries in bed 😲

pfcpompeysarah · 07/02/2022 18:00

I think your husband sounds lovely, he gives a colleague a lift home rather than leaving her to find her own way home AND he goes to the trouble of getting in touch to ask if you want him to bring you back a Maccy D, you've got a good one there!

TokyoTen · 07/02/2022 18:03

But that's a good thing to do?!

Sunshinedrops85 · 07/02/2022 18:04

My old boss used to give me a lift home when we closed 10pm despite me living very close.

Your husband sounds lovely.

cherish123 · 07/02/2022 18:06

YABU
I would not have a problem with this. Unless they have a history, there really is no issue.
Would you expect him to leave her to get a taxi?

XpressoMartini · 07/02/2022 18:06

Same here - I am shocked at the Mc Donald’s past midnight. However your husband’s behaviour sounds completely normal to me. I am married and I’ve been dropped off home or until safe in a taxi many times by (married) male colleagues after late night outs or work meetings, as they were concerned for my safety. My husband has done it numerous times with female colleagues.

csigeek · 07/02/2022 18:08

Unless he’s ever given you reason not to trust him I really don’t see what your issue is?

CrinklyCraggy · 07/02/2022 18:09

I suppose it depends what time they left the party.....but on the face of it, he did a kind thing, neither of them felt the need to hide it and he thought to offer you food Smile

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 07/02/2022 18:10

I would be more concerned if he hadn’t offered her a lift home 😳

AuntyBumBum · 07/02/2022 18:12

@Hexagonmum

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not. A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight! This I'm not going to lie really got my back up. Am I reading too much into this???
Yes, bonkers.
pastypirate · 07/02/2022 18:15

@YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp

I would be more concerned if he hadn’t offered her a lift home 😳
My thoughts.
MC68 · 07/02/2022 18:17

@Fittleswade

I'd be more worried if he didn't...
/\/\ This exactly
JackieLou · 07/02/2022 18:21

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I’d be more concerned by her than him.
If he answered the phone then he was ok with you knowing she was there.
She however is a grown woman who should have made her own arrangements to get home rather than rely on someone she works with.
I’d be mindful of her.

Wannakisstheteacher · 07/02/2022 18:22

I’d be horrified if DH left a woman alone at midnight instead of giving her a lift home.

Anonymous48 · 07/02/2022 18:23

Your husband sounds like a lovely man. I'm glad you came to your senses!

Payitforward55 · 07/02/2022 18:32

Hi OP I think you were annoyed because he should have said, I'm going to give colleague a lift home but will get us a take away on the way back. The fact he didn't mention it could be the reason you are annoyed. I would trust my husband 100% but this would annoy me too.

Ace7 · 07/02/2022 18:35

You have a gentleman there OP! If he were up to something he may either have not responded to your call or ask her to be quiet while he answered. YABU

Flatwhitetostayin · 07/02/2022 18:36

Am glad 2 good things came out if it - an unexpected McDonald's and regular date nights.

Cyg79 · 07/02/2022 18:40

I'd be disappointed if my hubby didn't offer to drop a female colleague home so late at night if she was clearly going the same way...I assume you wouldn't mind if it was a man? Men and women can just be friends without having an ulterior motive...would you drop one of your male colleagues home at that time if he was going the same way as you?

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 07/02/2022 18:40

As a woman myself I’d be shocked if my husband allowed a woman to walk alone at that time of night. In fact, he’s given a few female colleagues a lift home when it’s been dark at 8pm… I’ve made sure he has on a few occasions too. Sorry OP, you may BU here Confused

LaughingCat · 07/02/2022 18:50

So, he answered the phone and didn’t try to shush the coworker. He made it clear it was you by asking if you wanted fries, so he wasn’t trying to hide anything from either of you.

His coworker needed a lift home after being out drinking and he presumably, like any sane, rational person, offered to help.

Yeah. You’re being very unreasonable and I’m very glad my other half is more relaxed than you! Personally, I hope he didn’t bring you back any bonus Maccy Dees, if you’re going to be that mardy.

Mandyjack · 07/02/2022 18:54

If you trust him, which sounds like you don't, then sounds like you are being unreasonable. He probably wanted to know she got home safe and save her some money on a cab

Swipe left for the next trending thread