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Original poster

To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

406 replies

GypsyWanderer · 03/02/2022 09:57

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call Blush

OP posts:
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Gizacluethen · 03/02/2022 10:01

Could it be a repeating clothes or coat issue rather than a not washing issue? You might not notice his jumper stinks of he takes it off before he gets home and shoves it in his bag

polkadotcatears · 03/02/2022 10:02

School staff can't win, can they? Maybe other parents would have felt that an email was impersonal or a cop out and complained about that.

Or the staff member would have talked to the child directly, and the parent might have complained about that.

Or they wouldn't have said anything, and the child faces being shunned or bullied, so the parent complains about that.

You're being unreasonable. They did a nice thing to try and support your son.

TheChip · 03/02/2022 10:02

Smells of BO? Maybe they weren't highlighting it as an issue, but maybe as a cause for concern in his health.

I would ask the school to keep an eye out and push more on him about washing his pits and bits etc when showering or bathing, and if there's still no change in a couple of weeks then maybe a trip to the GP.

BlowDryRat · 03/02/2022 10:02

If he showers daily and uses deodorant then it could be his breath or his clothes, including his coat.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/02/2022 10:03

How often is his uniform washed?

toomuchlaundry · 03/02/2022 10:04

Maybe you have just got used to the smell or accepted it as teenage boy smell, whereas school have picked it up as something more than that

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/02/2022 10:04

That sounded rude, sorry!
Meant that around that age BO can really kick in and ours needed their clothes washed more frequently.

dementedpixie · 03/02/2022 10:05

Is he using antiperspirant rather than deodorant?
Is it residual smells on his clothing? Sniff his shirt armpits

OfstedOffred · 03/02/2022 10:05

Also look at what materials he is wearing next to his skin.

Polyester shirts etc won't help - they will make sweat sit against his skin. Buy cotton ones. Make sure he is showering after PE

YellowLemonz · 03/02/2022 10:06

I really recommend this deodorant. And also just plain soap. Like the Simple range.

I'd rather know tbh but can understand why your abit miffed.

More regular washes of uniform and his coat.

To be miffed after this phone call from DS school
olympicsrock · 03/02/2022 10:06

Is he using antiperspirant or deodorant. Make sure it is the former and ideally something with an antibacterial formula

dementedpixie · 03/02/2022 10:06

Our school doesn't offer showers after PE

chunkyBUTTsdonotlie · 03/02/2022 10:06

Maybe clothes need daily washing. Or if he wears a blazer or coat does it smell. Does he cycle to school or get hot walking ?

Whatwouldscullydo · 03/02/2022 10:06

What kind of deodorant does he use?

Does he need a stronger one.

Polyester uniform can stink perhaps he needs to wash it more often. How many times does he wear it before he washes his uniform?

There was never gonna be a nice way to tell you. I think.its better to know though. Not pleasant for anyone in the class to put up with. Better parents know and its dealt with than he ends up embarrassed and bullied

Interviewdisaster · 03/02/2022 10:06

Are you sure it was actually a staff member? Did they sound like an adult? Is there any chance it could be some sort of prank? Pretending to be a teacher and calling someone’s mum to tell them that they smell would have been considered the height of hilarity when I was at school Hmm

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 03/02/2022 10:08

Second the Mitchum stuff. Really good.

3Daddy31982 · 03/02/2022 10:08

Take him to see your gp. He may be poorly. My son has a condition that makes him smell more. They can give strong deodorant

3Daddy31982 · 03/02/2022 10:08

I use Mitcham and for my son.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 03/02/2022 10:08

@Interviewdisaster

Are you sure it was actually a staff member? Did they sound like an adult? Is there any chance it could be some sort of prank? Pretending to be a teacher and calling someone’s mum to tell them that they smell would have been considered the height of hilarity when I was at school Hmm
This is what I was going to say.

If you KNOW he doesn’t have a BO problem, and the smell they’re referring to isn’t stale cigarette smoke or strong pet smells etc.

Katshouldnotswim · 03/02/2022 10:08

LOADS of children smell it’s extremely unlikely your son is the only child and has been singled out.

I think it’s really proactive of the school. It will have been the job of support staff to call you ( and 250 others…)

Wash his blazer regularly with biological powder. I’m assuming it’s not a fancy wool one ) and encourage him to actually wash with bar soap under his armpits.

Show him yourself what you mean. Demonstrate it. Sometimes what sounds logical to you isn’t to a 14 year old.

He will thank you

Hankunamatata · 03/02/2022 10:10

I'd much rather have phone call than ds smelling. Just had similar situation with ds13. Walked into his room as he was about to leave for school. I could smell bo off him 4 ft away. He had a shower night before but wore and onesie to bed and wore a shirt he had on previous day. We now having to male.sure he showers every morning, uses deoderant and puts clean shirt on. I'm mortified he had been walking around like that

LIZS · 03/02/2022 10:11

What is he eating, does he eat breakfast or anything on way to school? Does he brush his teeth every day? Do you wash his uniform on hot temp and air to dry? Is the house aired? Clothing can absorb household odours and smell stale.

pudcat · 03/02/2022 10:11

Are you sure the call came from school? Surely if you did not recognise the name and she did not give her position on the staff, it might be just a nasty phone call. ring the school numberand ask to speak to this person or head of year or pastoral care. Make the number the call came from is the school number.

SeasonFinale · 03/02/2022 10:13

I suspect it was a staff member from pastoral care or even school nurse or equivalent.

They are altering you to the issue in an attempt to be kind. It is good you know so you can tackle it with your son and an email would have been far harsher.

A friend's son had a similar issue and she was indeed nose blind to how bad it was and indeed asked whether all teen boys smelt like that anyway. They didn't.

So one of the 48 hour stick antiperspirant deodorants like Sure would be a good purchase even if more expensive than regular ones. Check he is changing his shirt daily rather than putting the same one on etc.

SeasonFinale · 03/02/2022 10:13

*alerting