To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

[GypsyWanderer]

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

Did you ask what he smells of? Is it BO or a generally dirty smell?

If its BO he needs uniform washed at a higher temp and new on daily.
Daily morning showers and a thorough scrubbing.
A roll on or stick anti perspiring. Try Mitchum.

Although I'd be confused at why you haven't noticed. Are you sure it's BO.

We have to have many conversations about their child and personal hygiene. It can be a sign of neglect and staff will report it to DSLs and HoY for further investigation. Sometimes parents need support, sometimes the child refuses to wash and that needs investigating, sometimes there is a health issue or sometimes it is just them being a smelly teenager. Occasionally it is neglect and we need to step in (we have and do wash uniforms for some students. ATM I can think of 4 families who have their children bring in their uniform on PE day and a member of staff will wash and dry it in our machine).

Thanks for all your replies. I guess I was embarrassed rather than miffed because nobody wants to think their kids leave the house smelling!

I’m always close to him and haven’t noticed any smell. He has really bad eczema so his hygiene is usually the top priority because of skin infections etc. but he takes his blazer off at home so that’s an idea. It doesn’t get washed as often because it’s dry clean only but I will definitely check it out when home.

I just think it’s weird she said several students and teachers, as if they’re all talking about it. It’s not a pleasant thought.

I would be mortified but I'd also rather know ASAP so I could do something about it than have him smelling!

We've just this week had a similar issue with DS1 (12) where he smelled bad despite showering night before, fresh bedding that week, deodorant and a clean shirt daily. In the end, I sniffed out the problem and turns out it was his blazer! He has two and is supposed to alternate but turns out he couldn't be bothered switching his wallet, keys, bus pass etc from one to the other!

Suffice to say, the blazer went in the wash and I'm going to be washing it more regularly from now on.

It's only in the last few months he's even started to have 'a smell' as such and I think as mums we're the last to notice.

@Whyarewehardofthinking

We have to have many conversations about their child and personal hygiene. It can be a sign of neglect and staff will report it to DSLs and HoY for further investigation. Sometimes parents need support, sometimes the child refuses to wash and that needs investigating, sometimes there is a health issue or sometimes it is just them being a smelly teenager. Occasionally it is neglect and we need to step in (we have and do wash uniforms for some students. ATM I can think of 4 families who have their children bring in their uniform on PE day and a member of staff will wash and dry it in our machine).

I completely understand about the neglect thing but he’s 14. It’s been many years since I’ve been in charge of his showers!

@ButtercupBlue

I would be mortified but I'd also rather know ASAP so I could do something about it than have him smelling!

We've just this week had a similar issue with DS1 (12) where he smelled bad despite showering night before, fresh bedding that week, deodorant and a clean shirt daily. In the end, I sniffed out the problem and turns out it was his blazer! He has two and is supposed to alternate but turns out he couldn't be bothered switching his wallet, keys, bus pass etc from one to the other!

Suffice to say, the blazer went in the wash and I'm going to be washing it more regularly from now on.

It's only in the last few months he's even started to have 'a smell' as such and I think as mums we're the last to notice.

Thank you, I am thinking now it could be his blazer or maybe jumper. He walks 2 miles to school so he probably sweats quite a lot on the way there.

I think schools having blazers that are dry clean only as the uniform for sweaty hormonal teenagers at is such a terrible idea I never understand it

Did she specifically say it was BO

Do you have any pets that smell.

I worked with someone who always looked immaculate but she had 3 large dogs in a small property and repeatedly came in to work absolutely honking of wet dog.

I've had to make this call once before it was mortifying to have to bring it up.

Yes I would be mortified but I would be embarrassed and upset for my son not at the school. I would be grateful someone had the awkward phonecall and hope I could fix it before son aware others talking about him.

I'd put money on the blazer being the problem.

After the shoes they r probably the most expensive item so people only buy 1 or 2 then expect it to last a whole week.

They are often more difficult to wash too as they require some kind of washing that's different to the rest of your washing. Lower temperatures or no softener or dry clean only etc

I'd actually include that in the email tbh tell them that although you do your best to ensure your son has good hygiene when your blazer is so expensive and you can't put it in the washing machine it undoes alm that work.

Is he actually scrubbing his armpits with soap in the shower?

No name or identifiable info given makes me wonder if it really was school.

I would ring his head of year to check, but I’m suspicious.

I would contact school and ask to speak to whoever phoned you to clarify the “smell”. Because of his skin issues it may be the result of medicated creams he may use.
You may have got used to the “smell” but may need to explain this to the “member of staff”.
I would have been suspicious when they said “students and staff”. It would be more appropriate to say “it has been brought to our attention”.
You may find that it is not school who contacted you after all.

I was always forgetting to put on my roll on in the rush for school at that age We used to have those pump body sprays, from boots or the body shop shows age I'm sure they do male fragrances too, as they prob aren't allowed aerosols at school.

No matter how embarrassing it is I would still rather be told I smell so I can do something about it.

It’s a shame they’ve not said what the smell is!
It could be BO, farting, not wiping properly, smoking, household smells etc.

I would buy a second jumper and make sure he’s changing his shirts every day.
I would check the scent of any medicated shampoo or cream.
I would also encourage him to spray some deodorant before he leaves the house and then once he gets to school - without saying you’ve had a phonecall.

@AlternativePerspective

No name or identifiable info given makes me wonder if it really was school.

I would ring his head of year to check, but I’m suspicious.

My immediate thought was this too. I would check.

This is the sort of thing I would have expected a form tutor to handle - and start their phone call saying "I'm DS form tutor" and learly identify themselves. If not the form tutor then again, pastoral team or whoever to introduce themselves and their role.

I would definitely check with the school- start with tutor & HoY, staff who are most likely to be in a position to make that sort of call.

I also live in a very damp home and my clothes can get easily mouldy and smelly - could it be this?

With his blazer make a paste with bio washing powder and rub it into the pits. Leave overnight then wash..... The enzymes kill the BO smell.

And I know it says dry clean only but in all my years of sticking dry clean items in the wash ive yet to have one suffer an ill timed demise. It will he fine.

The call wasn't from a mobile number, was it? Possible prank call?

If it was genuine, I would feel the same as you. Especially about the possibility that people have been speaking about him like this.

It's strange that you haven't noticed anything. Surely his smell can't be that bad if his own family haven't noticed?

It could be excessive sweating which you can get treatment for. Does he shower before school?

I think teenage boys can be sweaty. I "pre treated" their things with white vinegar on the smell bits like arm pits. Sometimes an ordinary wash seems to have done the job but when they are warm the smell seems to come back but the white vinegar stops that.

@RegardingMary

Did she specifically say it was BO

Do you have any pets that smell.

I worked with someone who always looked immaculate but she had 3 large dogs in a small property and repeatedly came in to work absolutely honking of wet dog.

She didn’t explicitly say BO but mentioned sweat. But we have 4 dogs! So now you’ve got me thinking, maybe it is the dog smell because he lays and hugs them constantly and it’s quite possible he smells of that and I don’t notice because I’m with the dogs all day.

Blazers aren't usually made of breathable fabric so yes it probably is sweat and old sweat locked into the fabric. It really should be washed or dry cleaned more often, they really absorb smells so easily so make sure he doesn't leave it in the kitchen because it will absorb a cooking smell very easily.

@3Daddy31982

Take him to see your gp. He may be poorly. My son has a condition that makes him smell more. They can give strong deodorant

Dont do this until you've tried OTC remedies.

I would assume prank call!