To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

[GypsyWanderer]

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

@justmaybenot

Oh - and really get him to NOT roll around with dogs when he's wearing fresh uniform! People with dogs can really stink without realising it.

Yes I loathe the smell of dogs but lots of dog owners don't notice at all

I imagine with 3 teenage boys and 4 dogs you may have a higher tolerance to bad smells than the average person...!

Are the twins identical? I would expect twin boys living in the same house to be equally stinky at that age...

If he’s walking 2 miles to school he could definitely smell sweaty by the time he gets there. Does he shower in the morning before school? If not, I’d recommend that firstly. Change school shirt every day, wash blazer weekly. Ours said dry clean but I bunged them in the washer and all was fine - hopefully yours might be the same.

Showering - definitely chat to him about how to shower effectively, we think it’s obvious, but not to all youngsters.

It could be due to the dog - maybe try not dressing until it’s literally time to leave, also change out of uniform as soon as he gets home.

Lastly, my dd suddenly started smelling of really bad BO, even literally after showering. After a couple of weeks perseverance we went to the GP - turns out she had a yeast infection in her armpits - cream cleared it up in no time!

Puberty could also be playing a part, so if none of the above works, I’d go to GP.

Is he wearing a clean shirt every day?

DH gets seriously stinky pits but there are lots of things that help-

-Double washing with soap (not shower gel) under the pits and really giving them a good scrub.
-Showering (or washing armpits) at night and then using Triple Dry anti perspirant (the roll on one) overnight so it gets a chance to properly work. Plus a shower at night is probably a bit less rushed so more likely to properly scrub.
-The Dettol laundry sanitiser- I was sceptical about this but it really seems to help. DH's shirts and t-shirts get a pre-wash, a wash with a bit of soda crystals to boost the washing detergent and then the laundry sanitiser in the rinse. I tend to do a rinse hold so it can soak in it for a while. My very well used gym kit is much less stinky since I started doing this too!
-Make sure that clothes are somewhere they can dry quickly, if they don't dry quickly enough they can get musty and smelly.

With the blazer, are you sure it's dry clean only? Is it wool? My DS has had a blazer since primary school but they go in the machine no problem. Even if you can't wash it regularly, you could try spraying the armpits with a bit of vinegar and hanging it outside to air for a bit every weekend.

I think the school will be used to stinky teenage boys, they probably had a long list of parents to call! Better he learns good habits now. I've got 12 and a 9yo DS and it's really hard to get them to clean themselves properly. 12yo DS thinks Lynx is a substitute for washing but luckily he doesn't get stinky yet.

OP I've not RTFT but have you checked your washing machine? Even if clothes are regularly washed they may smell if the machine has mould around the seal etc.

Also agree dogs smell to non-dog-owners.

Oh and there is no such thing as dry clean only. Anything can be washed - with care!

Could be dogs, I work with someone who has several dogs and unfortunately the smell of wet dog is quite overpowering. It's not something I notice on other colleagues with dogs.

It could just be BO though, you do get used to it!

Agree about the towels.
Particularly if he is using emollients & medicated creams/lotions.
They can soon whiff & drying off clean skin with said towels will offer a fresh dose of bacteria.

Also agree with earlier comments of this & other threads recently, that wearing clean clothes that are not bone dry before putting away soon smell very musty & ‘off’ once the fabric has warmed up by body heat. Again, you may be used to the smell & not notice it.

It’s not easy to have heard from the school & have MNetters comment, but there are practical things to be done that will make a difference.

Ironically I visited someone whose home was so clean & pared back that it seemed to meet clinical guidelines of cleanliness - yes, they were medics - & it so soulless & empty of human warmth that we could not get away fast enough.

My Dsd's blazers say they're dry clean only but I wash them every week on a quick wash and then hang them up to dry and they come up fine.

I agree that you will be nose blind to the dog smell.
He needs to ditch the shower gel and use soap on his armpits and bits, and use anti perspirant not deodorant.

Another thing- hot washing can actually set in the smells and make them harder to get rid of. I have started washing most clothes on cold- in a long wash with the right level of detergent and plenty of agitation it gets the stink out fine. Make sure you don't overload your washing machine too as clothes won't wash properly in an overloaded machine.

And clean your machine out every month with a service wash.

@Lovemusic33

It could possibly be a dog smell.

Of the smell is in your house you wouldn’t smell it on him because you will smell like it too 😬. Shame they couldn’t have described the smell too you as it could be anything.

How do you dry your clothes? It could be a damp smell if your drying clothes indoors?

Could be dog smell?

Do you use a fabric softener or anything to make your clothes smell fresh?

Maybe wash the dog? 🤣

I have a really sensitive nose, I can smell dog on people and smoke 🤢, also the smell of damp clothes is horrid. But I never smelt these when I had a dog of my own or when ex was living here and smoking near me but now the smell really effects me (especially the smell of smoke).

I used a tumble dryer to dry the clothes.

I’m worried now it’s the dog smell and I smell of it too and I don’t know! The dogs don’t smell to me and they’re bathed often but obviously they’re still dogs. One of them actually is going to the groomers next week so maybe I’ll book DS in too 😆

@perenniallymessy

Another thing- hot washing can actually set in the smells and make them harder to get rid of. I have started washing most clothes on cold- in a long wash with the right level of detergent and plenty of agitation it gets the stink out fine. Make sure you don't overload your washing machine too as clothes won't wash properly in an overloaded machine.

And clean your machine out every month with a service wash.

I’ve recently washed the washing machine inside but just remembered our new washing machine has a self clean function so I’m going to give that a go!

I think it's a good thing that they let you know. Teenagers can be cruel. He may not notice but his friends may.

And I think it was better they told you rather than him.

I have a dc with bad eczema. So he need to use lotions/creams to keep it under control. It's a bad mix tbh, sweaty teen and oily cream.
My dc's blazer is dry clean only, but I wash it with delicate detergent every 2 weeks in the summer, and at least once a month during winter. It seems to be ok for about 2 years+ now, and we need to get a new one soon since it's getting too small.

Embarrassing telephone call for the school to have to make to a parent but hopefully you can act on it to prevent him getting bullied.

A teacher would not be making the phone call, op. Their job is to teach. It will have been someone from the pastoral team who called you as they are trained to handle sensitive conversations. I’m sure it’s just an FYI - it’s what would happen at the school I work at.

Hi @GypsyWanderer, I missed your posts whilst I was bashing out my comments.

The white vinegar does make a difference to the overall wash, it’s an effective in-wash rinse aid & once dried, there is no fragrance, just the neutral ‘smell’ of clean. I’ve just looked on Amazon for a generic product & it is a bit more £, but still very good value.

@UniversalAunt

Agree about the towels. Particularly if he is using emollients & medicated creams/lotions. They can soon whiff & drying off clean skin with said towels will offer a fresh dose of bacteria.

Also agree with earlier comments of this & other threads recently, that wearing clean clothes that are not bone dry before putting away soon smell very musty & ‘off’ once the fabric has warmed up by body heat. Again, you may be used to the smell & not notice it.

It’s not easy to have heard from the school & have MNetters comment, but there are practical things to be done that will make a difference.

Ironically I visited someone whose home was so clean & pared back that it seemed to meet clinical guidelines of cleanliness - yes, they were medics - & it so soulless & empty of human warmth that we could not get away fast enough.

Thank you I appreciate that. I think the reason it bothered me so much was the idea that people would think he wasn’t looked after properly. I always seem to trace everything back to my ability to other properly! It’s my own insecurity.

I posted on here because I was offended and embarrassed but actually I feel better because I have loads of actionable things to try.

@UniversalAunt

Hi *@GypsyWanderer*, I missed your posts whilst I was bashing out my comments.

The white vinegar does make a difference to the overall wash, it’s an effective in-wash rinse aid & once dried, there is no fragrance, just the neutral ‘smell’ of clean. I’ve just looked on Amazon for a generic product & it is a bit more £, but still very good value.

Thank you!

We have a dog and my son plays, cuddles her and she has a terrible habit of rolling in foxy smells

Sometimes he does smell like dog... and foxy stuff 🙄😱

So gets showered more and clothes washed because he starts to pong after a couple of days

@2ndMrsdeWinter

A teacher would not be making the phone call, op. Their job is to teach. It will have been someone from the pastoral team who called you as they are trained to handle sensitive conversations. I’m sure it’s just an FYI - it’s what would happen at the school I work at.

Thank you. I did take it very personally, maybe my own issues being prodded at.

Blaming the school for their method of contact wouldn't be my first thought. Mortification that they had to call me would be and then finding solutions to the problem.

Stronger deodorant - Mitchum, change of clothes daily - shirts, pants, socks, showers morning and night, new shoes, swop trousers so can wash weekly and blazers can get whiffy. Get blazer dry cleaned maybe.

Constantly have to remind mine that he needs deodorant for the benefit of his teachers/friends not him. He gets whiffy at times - just a normal bo smell. He's sent straight off to the shower.

Could it be damp clothes OP? If they don't get dried fast enough after a wash and/or get put away damp, the mustiness can be really strong. Suspect this or stinky shoes.

@rainrainraincamedowndowndown

I think it's a good thing that they let you know. Teenagers can be cruel. He may not notice but his friends may.

And I think it was better they told you rather than him.

I have a dc with bad eczema. So he need to use lotions/creams to keep it under control. It's a bad mix tbh, sweaty teen and oily cream.
My dc's blazer is dry clean only, but I wash it with delicate detergent every 2 weeks in the summer, and at least once a month during winter. It seems to be ok for about 2 years+ now, and we need to get a new one soon since it's getting too small.

Thank you the cream has a bit of an off smell to it. Not medical but kind of musty and he uses it all over his arms so I guess if he sweats it. Oils be a bad combination!