To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

[GypsyWanderer]

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

I would call school back, it could possibly be a hoax, or another student phoning you?

Having been around many teenagers it seems most of them smell of BO at some point. Dd has had several friends over, some that have smelt strongly of BO and others laced in lynx Africa 🤣, my DD has a habit of forgetting to spray her arm pits each day and also gets bad breathe. I wouldn’t have thought the school would call to tell you that your teenager smells like a teenager unless it was really bad, if you can’t smell it then I can’t see it can be that bad.

@ancientgran

I think teenage boys can be sweaty. I "pre treated" their things with white vinegar on the smell bits like arm pits. Sometimes an ordinary wash seems to have done the job but when they are warm the smell seems to come back but the white vinegar stops that.

That’s a good idea about the white vinegar, thank you. He has bad eczema so I’m careful with what I wash with but that’s a great idea.

@GypsyWanderer

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

You’d prefer an email that would be a record of him smelling. They didn’t tell you face to face either, which would definitely have been embarrassing. You can’t help feeling embarrassed,I suppose.

You say he showers “regularly”? How often is regularly? Maybe he needs to shower everyday if he doesn’t. His deodorant might not be working either.
He might smell in a way that’s acceptable to you.

Be grateful they took the time to inform you so you can do something about it.

@Lovemusic33

I would call school back, it could possibly be a hoax, or another student phoning you?

Having been around many teenagers it seems most of them smell of BO at some point. Dd has had several friends over, some that have smelt strongly of BO and others laced in lynx Africa 🤣, my DD has a habit of forgetting to spray her arm pits each day and also gets bad breathe. I wouldn’t have thought the school would call to tell you that your teenager smells like a teenager unless it was really bad, if you can’t smell it then I can’t see it can be that bad.

She definitely sounded like an adult and was calling from the school number 😆 I’m going to give him a smell when he’s home but I’m starting to wonder if he smells of dog rather than BO and I haven’t noticed

How often are you washing the blazer? I wash my children's blazers every week. My friend hadn't washed her son's all term. It should be OK in the machine on the right setting. I use those washing beads and the long lasting fabric conditioner which helps keep them smelling a bit fresher for longer.

Are there any creams that he's applying for his eczema that might be part of the smell people are noticing ?

@Sally872

Yes I would be mortified but I would be embarrassed and upset for my son not at the school. I would be grateful someone had the awkward phonecall and hope I could fix it before son aware others talking about him.

I am upset for him. As I said the idea of people talking about him behind his back is what mortifies me and that he’s left the house smelling.

I can see why you are miffed, but far better that you know and can nip the cause in the bud.

Dog and sweat doesn't sound like a very pleasant combo!

Hopefully it's easily fixed.

Back yard - hose down - sorted

Does the dog sleep in the bed with him?

My dc's are 14 and almost 16 and I still have to force them to have a shower every other day. I've told them this now needs to be every day but I can't physically force them so it's difficult. I've told them they will smell but they don't seem to care. I would have been mortified at the thought of smelling at that age. Maybe if your ds knows that the school have contacted you about it, it might make him shower a bit more often and take care over using deodorant? You obviously don't have to tell him about other students noticing.

Re the blazers - I wash my dc's in the machine on a more delicate wash and they have been fine.

@GypsyWanderer I can imagine he is in charge of showering but you'd be surprised at the issues we've had, including houses not having power, water, parents allowing one shared bath a week, even for teenagers.

I second white vinegar by the way; we presoak shirts in it sometimes, especially if it is the first time we have had to help a family (or DPs rugby gear!)

Showering every day doesn't mean no smell... Does he wash efficiently in the shower with soap, shower gel? I had an ex who literally just used to stand in the shower, never cleaned everything off. It was grim, we didn't stay together long.

What deodorant does he use? Anti perspirant is probably best.

Does he do a lot of exercise? Does he sweat a lot?

It could also be:

Breath?
Hair?
Clothes? If clothes aren't washed enough they can smell of sweat and other things
Feet?

I can understand your concern.

I had a cousin at school who always stank. So many parents and teachers complained apparently! Yet she never managed to smell it nor did her family! It was a real stale sweaty smell in her case! I think you get used to the smell and don't notice it. I used to worry people thought I was the same as I was related! I was actually the total opposite, I've always been a bit extreme with personal hygiene!

[quote Whyarewehardofthinking]@GypsyWanderer I can imagine he is in charge of showering but you'd be surprised at the issues we've had, including houses not having power, water, parents allowing one shared bath a week, even for teenagers.

I second white vinegar by the way; we presoak shirts in it sometimes, especially if it is the first time we have had to help a family (or DPs rugby gear!)[/quote]
Thank you. I guess I didn’t think of any of those cases. I have 3 teenage boys and the bathroom is never free for me so I’m surprised I’m not the one that smells 😆

@Userno12345

Showering every day doesn't mean no smell... Does he wash efficiently in the shower with soap, shower gel? I had an ex who literally just used to stand in the shower, never cleaned everything off. It was grim, we didn't stay together long.

What deodorant does he use? Anti perspirant is probably best.

Does he do a lot of exercise? Does he sweat a lot?

It could also be:

Breath?
Hair?
Clothes? If clothes aren't washed enough they can smell of sweat and other things
Feet?

I can understand your concern.

I had a cousin at school who always stank. So many parents and teachers complained apparently! Yet she never managed to smell it nor did her family! It was a real stale sweaty smell in her case! I think you get used to the smell and don't notice it. I used to worry people thought I was the same as I was related! I was actually the total opposite, I've always been a bit extreme with personal hygiene!

Him not having a thorough shower is an idea thank you. He’s never in there that long.

febreeze?

One of mine had been really smelly lately, despite the forced daily showers. Even when they showered and put deodorant on right before school they’d be stinky when they came back. That’s with fresh clothes every day too. I bought this deodorant from Boots called Trust, it’s a cream that they only need to use every few days and it really works (they can shower/swim normally in between applications). Some of the reviews said it’s taken a few weeks to work but for DC it worked straight away.

(for his outer clothes and bag I meant if something to do with them!).

Why would you be miffed? Surely it's better to have an embarrassing phone call so you can help your son than to have your son be smelly? Kids are brutal and if he smells bad enough that the school have contacted you about it I don't doubt his peers are talking about him and avoiding him.
Most dry clean only items can be washed on a hand wash setting on the machine or you can wash them by hand. Not cleaning them regularly because it's dry clean only isn't fair on your son. But people with multiple dogs really smell of dog to people without them unfortunately and it's not a pleasant smell. You probably won't be able to smell it. I went to a home recently with 3 dogs and as soon as the door opened I was hit with the wet dog smell. The house was clean, but there's no avoiding the fact that dogs smell. No doubt the home owner had no idea how it smelt.

Do people really contact their gp about EVERYTHING? It amazes me on here the sorts of things people suggest contacting the gp for. He smells... some posters first thought "I'd ring the gp, it must be a medical condition". I'd think... he probably needs to wash his blazer or coat as it's probably that that smells!! I think I'd try washing all his clothes and telling him to get in the shower before school before seeking advice from the poor gp. It's no wonder I couldn't get anywhere near the gps last week when our little boy was very poorly (when we eventually got in we were sent to a+e) appointments taken by people needing to wash their clothes!!

@Sunshineandflipflops

My dc's are 14 and almost 16 and I still have to force them to have a shower every other day. I've told them this now needs to be every day but I can't physically force them so it's difficult. I've told them they will smell but they don't seem to care. I would have been mortified at the thought of smelling at that age. Maybe if your ds knows that the school have contacted you about it, it might make him shower a bit more often and take care over using deodorant? You obviously don't have to tell him about other students noticing.

Re the blazers - I wash my dc's in the machine on a more delicate wash and they have been fine.

Thank you. I have 3 teenage boys in the house and my eldest who is 16 showers once a day and had also been known to take 2 a day plus makes his hair fancy and wears aftershave etc. then there’s the twins which are harder to get to look after themselves.

‘I am upset for him. As I said the idea of people talking about him behind his back is what mortifies me and that he’s left the house smelling.’

So the school have done you a favour, haven’t they? Now you can address the issue rather than have kids tease your son.
This is the kind of thing that would come from our pastoral team.
My DS has to wear a blazer all day even in class so he has 5 shirts and wears a clean cotton one every day. I also make him change his jumper every other day. Then The blazer is cleaned every other week.

@TheChip

Smells of BO? Maybe they weren't highlighting it as an issue, but maybe as a cause for concern in his health.

I would ask the school to keep an eye out and push more on him about washing his pits and bits etc when showering or bathing, and if there's still no change in a couple of weeks then maybe a trip to the GP.

This is not a medical issue so not something to go to the gp with.

My DS is younger so showers or baths twice a week rather than everyday but with the clean clothes everyday we managed to keep that pre-teen boy smell at bay!

@NoResolutionsHere

Do people really contact their gp about EVERYTHING? It amazes me on here the sorts of things people suggest contacting the gp for. He smells... some posters first thought "I'd ring the gp, it must be a medical condition". I'd think... he probably needs to wash his blazer or coat as it's probably that that smells!! I think I'd try washing all his clothes and telling him to get in the shower before school before seeking advice from the poor gp. It's no wonder I couldn't get anywhere near the gps last week when our little boy was very poorly (when we eventually got in we were sent to a+e) appointments taken by people needing to wash their clothes!!

We don’t use the GP very often, obviously when needed but that isn’t very often! I definitely don’t think he has a medical condition causing him to smell, more likely his clothes or my dogs as he rolls around with them every day.