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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel hurt that SIL WAS going to announce pg on my wedding day?

126 replies

mummy2olivia · 30/12/2007 16:36

She didnt- but only because BM was suddenly rushed to hosp with an ectopic the night before the wedding!!

She told us on xmas eve that she is pg- which is great, its their 1st child and we cant wait to have a little addition to the family- but then she mentioned that she was going to announce it at the wedding until the drama with my BM.

This just left a bad taste in my mouth, our wedding day should not be a day for people to make announcements without us knowing. I'm glad she didnt do it. but the fact she was even considering it makes me feel a bit sad really

Well..............am I??????

OP posts:
fatslagwillstartjogginginjan · 30/12/2007 16:38

YANBU. Your SIL should have realised that she should not steal the limelight on your special day. IMHO anyway.

Alambil · 30/12/2007 16:39

No. You don't steal someone else's thunder!

hunkermunker · 30/12/2007 16:40

She didn't.

So yes, you're being precious.

Were you a bridezilla about your wedding?

claraenglish · 30/12/2007 16:41

Message withdrawn

claraenglish · 30/12/2007 16:42

Message withdrawn

08aGreatYearForCarmenere · 30/12/2007 16:42

You would not have been unreasonable if she had done it but she didn't. So you are being unreasonable to be hurt by something that didn't happen.

But don't let logic get in the way of a good bridezilla related huff

yurt1 · 30/12/2007 16:43

It wouldn't worry me tbh. I don't think everyone would forget the wedding because of a pregnancy announcement (after years of pregnancy announcements I'm only ever interested these days - it's not show stopping- unless I know someone has had particular problems then I'm just very very happy for them). The handy thing about announcing at a wedding (how would she announce presumably she'd just tell people as she saw them, she's hardly going to stop the speeches) is that everyone is there at once and no-one gets in a strop because so and so knew first.

claraenglish · 30/12/2007 16:45

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 30/12/2007 16:45

Why on earth wouldn't you just have been happy for her and said congratulations?!

claraenglish · 30/12/2007 16:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mummy2olivia · 30/12/2007 16:47

I wasn't a bridezilla!!!

And its not really a massive issue cos she didnt do it. BUT as soon as she said 'was going to announce it at your wedding...' I just felt a bit put out really. I wouldnt even consider doing that on someones wedding day.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 30/12/2007 16:49

But she didn't!!!!!!!!!!

It's like crying over milk that's not even been sodding spilt!

Go and get a proper problem

Well, obviously don't, but jeez!

holidaywonk · 30/12/2007 16:50

I can see your point mummy2olivia. I think it's pretty self-involved to announce your own pregnancy at someone else's wedding - the day is so not about you. And I say this as someone who found out that she was pregnant with DS2 the day before a friend's wedding, and kept heroically schtum until not only the wedding but also the honeymoon was over.

Original poster
mummy2olivia · 30/12/2007 16:50

I am happy!!!!! thats not the issue at all. I just think its a bit of a weird thing to do on someones wedding day. DH feels a bit hurt too- in fact he mentioned it first. There is just something about it which makes me feel erm......not right.

OP posts:
GreebosWhiskers · 30/12/2007 16:51

I'd say YANBU because she was going to do it - the reason she didn't was, I assume, to spare your BM's feelings rather than yours.

My ex sil announced she was pg at my hospital bedside when she, bil & ex-h's parents were there visiting just hours after I'd had dd1. bil had always been the favourite son so poor dd1 got pretty much forgotten about in the excitement at their news - that still rankles even now & dd1 is almost 15.

How is your BM btw? I hope she's okay.

AMerryScot · 30/12/2007 16:51

Mentioning when all the family are there is rather convenient (especially if relatives are hinting), so as long as she wasn't planning on tapping her glass and making a major announcement just prior to the best man's speech, I don't see the problem.

yurt1 · 30/12/2007 16:51

I don't get all this pregnancy 'announcement' stuff anyway. FGS thousands of people have babies each year, why does there have to be such a song and dance about telling people? My SIL had to tell her parents and IL's at exactly the same time so had some weirdy situation standing in someones kitchen with a phone so that no-one would get a strop on.

claraenglish · 30/12/2007 16:52

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mummy2olivia · 30/12/2007 16:52

Hunker- I dont know why you are getting angry- I'm talking about her CONSIDERING to do it- its not something i would even consider.

BM is ok now BTW. Lap, hosp stay. EP self absorbed.

OP posts:
yurt1 · 30/12/2007 16:53

Honestly though, weddings, pregnancy announcements, happen to thousands of people every day, neither of massive interest except to those immediately involved.

hunkermunker · 30/12/2007 16:53

Was she going to get her own toastmaster to come along and do a "hear ye, hear ye" announcement? If yes, yanbu.

If she was just going to say to relatives and friends that she was expecting her first child, then you are being utterly unreasonable.

Weddings are about family as much as they are about bridezillas.

Original poster
mummy2olivia · 30/12/2007 16:53

Can i just make it clear that i'm talking about the fact that she was going to!! No she didnt but I'm just bit hurt that she would consider doing that. JEEZ!!

OP posts:
THelesbellsRINGOUTFORCHRISTMAS · 30/12/2007 16:53

lol at hunkers 'go and get a proper problem'

I know what you mean mummy2. Its the thought that she was going to do it without your knowledge (which would have been out of order) But she didnt so i would let it go.

hope the BM is ok.

VictorianSqualor · 30/12/2007 16:53

My x-bil and his wife announced her pregnancy the day my DS was born. I thought it made it extra special.
She just said in the hospital, 'actually we were going to tell you sooner but wanted to check everything was alright with your LO first, but there's a new cousin on the way already.'

hunkermunker · 30/12/2007 16:54

I'm not angry. Just baffled at how precious some people can be.