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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shockingly useless DH never fails to surprise me..

208 replies

TheRemotePart · 01/02/2022 17:47

DH works in an office
Asked him to bring me home an envelope so I could post an fairly important form to my workplace
DH returns home with no envelope
Him “ don’t worry , just write the address and I’ll post it for you tomorrow “
Me* writes address down, directly followed by FAO XXX
Today “ did you send the envelope?”
Him ,proudly “yes”
Me “ did you remember to address it to XxX as per written down for you ..?”
Him “ Shock

And now I’m not allowed to be even remotely annoyed that post has gone to giant office block reception, rather than intended human /department

He does stuff like this all the time -if you don’t go through each step ( as if to a child) it will generally end in disaster ?
And every time, I usually absorb the information, that XX has been fucked up -I’m not allowed the summer in my annoyance for 5 mins ,quietly to myself ( I don’t usually explode but I do on occasion,as you can imagine…)
It was literal I written down for him?

He’s countering with how should HE know/realise that a huge company would need a vague target/department/person to send it to?( he knew the contents of the letter)

His boss said to him last week “ you must post this envelope it’s very important “ DH couldn’t find a stamp and no one in office had one- so he didn’t post it. He seemed surprised when his boss was annoyed to find it wasn’t sent?

And the last time I sent him out with a fully addressed letter( important) to be sent, he bought a stamp- but DIDN’T put it on!?

YANBU - it’s literally not hard to post a letter
YABU - he clearly cannot be trusted with this mammoth task

  • for clarity, I’m at home with DC on mat leave which is why I didn’t post /buy it myself - in amongst that wild storm of this week!
OP posts:
TheRemotePart · 02/02/2022 09:07

@Growbean
I’d asked for en envelope the previous day which he did not bring
The address and addressee wasn’t writing on paper? It was tested to him

OP posts:
Growbean · 02/02/2022 09:32

Ok, texted, same difference. I just feel you’ve both been a bit disorganised, not just him, for all that his disorganisation is annoying. I don’t really understand why being on mat leave means you can’t post a letter or have an envelope in the house.

SartresSoul · 02/02/2022 09:43

My DH is like this too. I have to give him precise instructions otherwise he fucks things up all of the time. I think men purposely do things like this so we don’t ask again.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 02/02/2022 09:49

You do realise we live in a society where "Boys will be boys" is accepted as a reason to pass off poor behaviour? And where women are told to lower their bar even on MN and what else they can expect etc.?

Well, I’m saying something different. Not all men are sub-standard, moronic knuckle-staggers. Most aren’t.

The OP deserves better.

Better is out there.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 02/02/2022 09:49

*knuckle-draggers, even…

TheRemotePart · 02/02/2022 09:53

The amount of people shocked that you ask your DP to pick something up/do you a favour is staggering.
Or can’t read… Confused

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 02/02/2022 09:55

If there is an issue such as ADHD, then you have to be more careful. Write things as you want them copied. Give detailed instructions etc. If he's messing up for his s boss then it isn't deliberate. There's lots of stuff on 'the disorganised brain' in terms of ADHD. My DD has needed that support from us and her workplace. She's trained herself, using strategies that work, but is still helped. She's a manager. My son in law often has to take the mental load and put his foot down when she comes up with plans. She's late 30's now and it wasn't easy for him when they were younger, but they've got there.

Growbean · 02/02/2022 10:20

@TheRemotePart I don’t think it’s staggering to ask your husband to do you a favour. I just think that this is a story of two disorganised people, not one.

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