Shockingly useless DH never fails to surprise me..

[TheRemotePart]

DH works in an office
Asked him to bring me home an envelope so I could post an fairly important form to my workplace
DH returns home with no envelope
Him “ don’t worry , just write the address and I’ll post it for you tomorrow “
Me* writes address down, directly followed by FAO XXX
Today “ did you send the envelope?”
Him ,proudly “yes”
Me “ did you remember to address it to XxX as per written down for you ..?”
Him “ ”

And now I’m not allowed to be even remotely annoyed that post has gone to giant office block reception, rather than intended human /department

He does stuff like this all the time -if you don’t go through each step ( as if to a child) it will generally end in disaster ?
And every time, I usually absorb the information, that XX has been fucked up -I’m not allowed the summer in my annoyance for 5 mins ,quietly to myself ( I don’t usually explode but I do on occasion,as you can imagine…)
It was literal I written down for him?

He’s countering with how should HE know/realise that a huge company would need a vague target/department/person to send it to?( he knew the contents of the letter)

His boss said to him last week “ you must post this envelope it’s very important “ DH couldn’t find a stamp and no one in office had one- so he didn’t post it. He seemed surprised when his boss was annoyed to find it wasn’t sent?

And the last time I sent him out with a fully addressed letter( important) to be sent, he bought a stamp- but DIDN’T put it on!?

YANBU - it’s literally not hard to post a letter
YABU - he clearly cannot be trusted with this mammoth task

• for clarity, I’m at home with DC on mat leave which is why I didn’t post /buy it myself - in amongst that wild storm of this week!

How has he not been sacked in work for incompetence?

@WeAreTheHeroes

Well for starters where I work that would theft - taking an envelope for personal use.

He does sound useless though. I frequently buy online postage for work with a corporate credit card so no issues with stamps or no access to a franking machine if I'm at home.

Grow up, what a stupid comment. It's an envelope and I'm sure no one from your work would be arsed

@DynamiteFilledRadish no. Hence my comment that you’d be verbally but informally reminded that company stationery wasn’t for personal use, not a re-education camp!

As a pp said, strategic incompetence -- the art of avoiding undesirable tasks by pretending to be unable to do them. It's basically that old corporate chestnut of managing expectations. He's training you to expect very little of him, and to put up with it.

Generally it works at a somewhat more strategic level a senior academic colleague who somehow always missed all of the regular Excel training sessions, so whoops! silly old me! -- he had to get one of the School's administrators to do it, which meant that over time people stopped asking him to do anything that involved Excel, even though it was clearly part of his admin responsibilities.

@ADisgruntledPelican
I sent him the address and directly after (on a message app, so it was directly visible)the addressee - and it was verbally discussed

[quote Cocomarine]@lololololollll we would certainly get an informal verbal comment that it’s company property, and not to do it again.[/quote]
Assuming you were caught, do they do bag searching and frisking in the office?

@oranges29 possibly. I mean , it would make it easier to deal with this constant level of “idiocy” if he couldn’t help it
But he’s too proud to think there’s “something wrong “ with him. Apparently it’s better to think your wife’s married to a moron

@phishy of course

Why don't you have envelops and stamps at home so you can send letters yourself? Most people do. The office envelops are not for your private use, it's called pilfering - could DH be fired if caught doing this?. You can buy both envelops and stamps online and have them delivered.

@tara66 that’s been covered

@tara66 I think he’s more likely to fired for not sending important letters,tbh…

Yanbu but if you know he seems to be a liability with postal jobs I would have just waited for him
To bring an envelope hope and do it myself!

(Also I’ve labelled up a letter using an envelope from the office cupboard in front of my manager before without so much as a second glance about it, so pp works in a stuffy office)!

Tbf, I would trust my Mr Important Job DH to do it, so it wouldn’t get that far, and I have a nice supply of (Wilko purchased) envelopes in my office.

As my lovely dearly departed dad used to say “if tha wants a job doing properly, do it thee self”

And I do.

*wouldnt

If he's doing this at work as well as at home I'd be concerned that he has executive function issues which are common with adhd (I have it and have to have systems in place to avoid this sort of scenario)

Or could just be a moron!

Why don't you have envelops and stamps at home so you can send letters yourself? Most people do.

Most people I know do not have this. They go out and buy envelopes and stamps as needed. But then, most people I know don't need to send anything regularly.

@WutheringHeights66 I agree, but isn’t it depressing? An envelope? I didn’t ask him to fill out DCs passport forms ? Rearrange house insurance? Solve the space/time continuum?

@CandyLeBonBon Christ ,he’s no exec!

@WeAreTheHeroes

Well for starters where I work that would theft - taking an envelope for personal use.

He does sound useless though. I frequently buy online postage for work with a corporate credit card so no issues with stamps or no access to a franking machine if I'm at home.

Hilarious

Are you sure he doesn't have ADHD? Three people in my family have it, it's certainly ringing a few bells for me!

Look, it's just too tiring (for you) to keep giving him the opportunity to let you down. Sort out your own stuff, and anything that might rebound on you or your DC and ignore everything else. If his boss is annoyed with him that is not your problem. If he can't find his keys that is not your problem.

Don't take on the job of fixing whatever he's fucked up and don't let him volunteer to do something for you if it would be a problem if he fucked it up.

@violetbunny is I’ve said in PP, he’d never get “assessed”
There’s just absolutely no logic /problem solving going on. I keep asking him “ are you doing this on purpose?”
The constantly being let down I can deal with, it’s the back chat or surprise that’d I’d register annoyance that’s driving me crazy

Well for starters where I work that would theft - taking an envelope for personal use
Would it though? Really??

I don't really understand why you would trust him to do something if you know his propensity to mess it up. And get some envelopes of your own.

[quote TheRemotePart]@WutheringHeights66 I agree, but isn’t it depressing? An envelope? I didn’t ask him to fill out DCs passport forms ? Rearrange house insurance? Solve the space/time continuum?

@CandyLeBonBon Christ ,he’s no exec![/quote]
I know, and I totally blame myself. My parents brought me up to always be independent and never rely on a man, so I haven’t. Conversely it makes him so less interested in doing something properly because I will make sure it’s done right.

That said, he’s hugely generous, I have free rein of money, the house, holidays etc he’s a lot of fun and kind and caring so I put the laziness/disinterest down to one of those things.

Let s face it, who is married to someone perfect? Not my DH 🙈

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar I totally get that, and I agree and try this ,to a good extent?
But I just find it depressing as you’re supposed to be a team? I need to give DH the chance to be “supportive “ otherwise, what’s the point?
And unfortunately his work for eg, if he lost his job would obviously affect us …