Shockingly useless DH never fails to surprise me..

[TheRemotePart]

DH works in an office
Asked him to bring me home an envelope so I could post an fairly important form to my workplace
DH returns home with no envelope
Him “ don’t worry , just write the address and I’ll post it for you tomorrow “
Me* writes address down, directly followed by FAO XXX
Today “ did you send the envelope?”
Him ,proudly “yes”
Me “ did you remember to address it to XxX as per written down for you ..?”
Him “ ”

And now I’m not allowed to be even remotely annoyed that post has gone to giant office block reception, rather than intended human /department

He does stuff like this all the time -if you don’t go through each step ( as if to a child) it will generally end in disaster ?
And every time, I usually absorb the information, that XX has been fucked up -I’m not allowed the summer in my annoyance for 5 mins ,quietly to myself ( I don’t usually explode but I do on occasion,as you can imagine…)
It was literal I written down for him?

He’s countering with how should HE know/realise that a huge company would need a vague target/department/person to send it to?( he knew the contents of the letter)

His boss said to him last week “ you must post this envelope it’s very important “ DH couldn’t find a stamp and no one in office had one- so he didn’t post it. He seemed surprised when his boss was annoyed to find it wasn’t sent?

And the last time I sent him out with a fully addressed letter( important) to be sent, he bought a stamp- but DIDN’T put it on!?

YANBU - it’s literally not hard to post a letter
YABU - he clearly cannot be trusted with this mammoth task

• for clarity, I’m at home with DC on mat leave which is why I didn’t post /buy it myself - in amongst that wild storm of this week!

If I took an envelope from work - not a problem - HAPPY DAYS, if I asked dh to do anything remotely taxing it would NOT get done. Sort anything of importance yourself @TheRemotePart

[quote TheRemotePart]@OnlyAFleshWound because I’m not in an office/shop/due to be outside in a storm.
And DH walks by multiple posy offices/shops to purchase envelopes or stamps.[/quote]
You literally stay indoors all the time? OK then.

What an unfortunate combination of circumstances, then, with your Totally Useless Husband. Lol. Aren't men just HOPELESS? Lol.

@WeAreTheHeroes

Well for starters where I work that would theft - taking an envelope for personal use.

He does sound useless though. I frequently buy online postage for work with a corporate credit card so no issues with stamps or no access to a franking machine if I'm at home.

Fuck me you employer is harsh!

He’s countering with how should HE know/realise that a huge company would need a vague target/department/person to send it to?( he knew the contents of the letter)

I'm struggling to understand how anyone even functions in a work environment without realising things like that. YAdefinitelyNBU

[quote TheRemotePart]@oranges29 possibly. I mean , it would make it easier to deal with this constant level of “idiocy” if he couldn’t help it
But he’s too proud to think there’s “something wrong “ with him. Apparently it’s better to think your wife’s married to a moron[/quote]
So, if you have Dyslexia or ADHD there is 'something wrong' with you?

@OnlyAFleshWound ok you seem to undydt on trolling , but as I wrote in the very first post : there has /had been an orange warning storm blowing. Which DH was out in anyways
And hadn’t produced the envelope the day before when asked.
eyeroll

You literally stay indoors all the time? OK then.

What an unfortunate combination of circumstances, then, with your Totally Useless Husband. Lol. Aren't men just HOPELESS? Lol

ODFOD. It makes perfectly good sense for the person who is going to walk past a post box to be asked to post a letter. It's a perfectly normal incidental daily transaction between normal people who like to help each other out.

And, of course, the point is that he said he would do it. If you say you will do something, let the other person assume you've done it, and then don't do it - or else only do it in a half-arsed useless sort of way - it's actually worse than refusing to help at all.

I have ADHD and was just going to say that this is absolutely something I would do! He seems to have some form of Executive Dysfunction either way.

"DH works in an office
Asked him to bring me home an envelope so I could post an fairly important form to my workplace
DH returns home with no envelope"

Buy an envelope yourself you cheapskate!

Not the point, I know, but I think I’d have to take the Nespresso machine or some cash before I got accused of theft at work. An envelope! Wow. 😂

Fuck me is she not aloud to ask her DH to grab an envelope for her? I asked my DH to print something off in work last week please someone lock me up and throw away the key. If she asked him to write a letter out with a bloody ink pot and quill, envelope it with a wax seal and then personally hand deliver it to the recipient in a storm by foot then fair enough but she’s asked him to bring home an envelope. Mad what people will pick at on this bloody site.

Normally men who fuck up like this are perfectly capable of doing whatever tasks they are assigned in the workplace, it's just trivial requests from the unimportant women they live with that get forgotten or ignored. But you mention he does similar things at work.
Either there is some neurodiversity - or he's passive-aggressive about being asked to do workplace tasks he considers beneath him. Which do you think more likely, OP?

O that would annoy me. My ex husband was like that. He would often forget something or do something really silly. After a while it really greated on me. One of the things he used to do was go to the drivers side when he was not driving. Also go on auto pilot and drive home instead of dropping his friend off at the bus stop. These are 2 small things, it happened all the time, in many different situations. With out sounding mean he was just a bit useless.

Are you married to my boyfriend 🙂

Exhausting!

If it isn't strategic incompetence it's laziness. He knew this mattered. he gave it about a third of his attention. I'd be so annoyed as well.

As for the poster who commented on the theft of ONE envelope, good God!!

@ABitOfAShitShow

Not the point, I know, but I think I’d have to take the Nespresso machine or some cash before I got accused of theft at work. An envelope! Wow. 😂

Somebody in my work took a coat and hat stand home before Christmas. They are really nice, much better quality than you'd get in Ikea. It was noticed, but he just said ''oh yeh I just borrowed it over Christmas''.

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN

In fact, I wish I'd done it first! Can't take another now we're one down.
Maybe I'll take one from another floor and get a taxi home.

@tara66

Why don't you have envelops and stamps at home so you can send letters yourself? Most people do. The office envelops are not for your private use, it's called pilfering - could DH be fired if caught doing this?. You can buy both envelops and stamps online and have them delivered.

Aw shit, looks like I’m getting the sack tomorrow, then. I’ve went home with office bought pens from the stationary cupboard on numerous occasions. I’ve also printed myself things on occasion using about 3 sheets of paper in total for “personal” use.

Hope prison beds aren’t too uncomfortable…

*stationery before anyone corrects me

See everyone that either HAS ADHD or lives with someone who does? Is it better knowing? Had it made a difference?
That you/they can’t help it? Do you just ask for less/ask them less things to do?

If I asked my DH to get me an envelope, he'd get one. He also bring back a bottle of wine and a bar of chocolate.
Does he work in a Spar?

My last job you simply could not take "an envelope" as there literally were none on the premises! Anything needing enveloping was sent elsewhere to be printed and enveloped.

Besides who doesn't have envelopes in the house? Plus I suspect if it were an official document from work they would supply a reply paid envelope to be sure it got back to the right department.

You want a job doing right, do it yourself

@PizzaCrust

*stationery before anyone corrects me

But it probably was stationary as well?

@TheRemotePart

See everyone that either HAS ADHD or lives with someone who does? Is it better knowing? Had it made a difference? That you/they can’t help it? Do you just ask for less/ask them less things to do?

DP got an adult diagnosis of ADHD and it DOES help: he has medication that isn’t a cure-all but definitely stops him being less envelope flappy. We added things to the house to make him more organised/me less annoyed: strategic whiteboards on fridge and next to coats with shopping lists or tasks on, corralling bowls at the places he usually deposits his pockets full of crap, that sort of thing.

Knowing definitely makes me less irritated at the cupboard doors left open or the constant “Remind me what you said about XYZ?” queries. (I didn’t say!! I stopped talking because you weren’t LISTENING and now you’re phrasing it like “Remind me…” as though you remember and just need a nudge when you DON’T need a nudge!)

I don’t ask him to do fewer tasks (and he would remember to bring an envelope/address is properly), I just accept that it takes more than a verbal request to do the thing, and refuse to accept any strategic incompetence. In my book if you do it badly once, that means you need lots more practice to improve.