To be so annoyed by the term birth givers

[UniverseSeekerUK]

Having seen that some NHS trusts have decided to use the term Birth Giver it has really annoyed me. It feels as though while they are trying to be inclusive, they are slowly ridding women of everything that is unique to them. Periods, breastfeeding, giving birth are now being generalized and it almost feels as though being a woman won't even be a recognized thing anymore.

Is there no way we can achieve inclusivity without reminding ourselves that women are the sex that do all of these things?

AIBU to be so annoyed by the term birth givers?

Can you please provide a link? All I can find is a DM article about a paper to be published saying that the language shouldn't be gender neutral, or should reflect the individual.

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

I care. It's erasing women.

@slashlover

Can you please provide a link? All I can find is a DM article about a paper to be published saying that the language shouldn't be gender neutral, or should reflect the individual.

Unfortunately, I do not have a link, I saw a debate on This Morning yesterday which can be seen on YouTube.

It’s a horrible expression. The word is mother.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

Yes it does matter. Women give birth. Women. That’s the correct word for it. I’m so bloody sick of people trying to erode my identity.

It’s a dreadful term. Right up there with ‘chest feeding’. It’s all done to please a tiny minority of a tiny minority. They just happen to have the loudest voices and it sucks. I certainly won’t be calling any WOMAN and birth giver.

I made sure my obstetricians website referred to women before booking in. I don’t want someone who won’t centre women in pregnancy delivering my baby. Which is to say I agree! It’s inaccurate and dehumanising language, nothing inclusive about it.

I have to say I am so pleased to not be alone. Being extremely pro-inclusivity I was worried this view made me awful but I hate the thought of my womanhood being eroded for the sake of political correctness.

@BigYellowHat

It’s a dreadful term. Right up there with ‘chest feeding’. It’s all done to please a tiny minority of a tiny minority. They just happen to have the loudest voices and it sucks. I certainly won’t be calling any WOMAN and birth giver.

Chest feeding? men have breasts (ie a small amount of breast tissue). They can even get breast cancer.

Women are not birth givers, we are life creators - and I would be satisfied being called that. So why does this so called modern inclusive language not reflect this truth.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

If it doesn't matter it can be fucking well left as it was.

It does seem a bit much. I wouldn't like to be called it and would ask not to be. I'm not a chest feeder either, I'm a breastfeeding woman. I would find it offensive to be called a chest feeder to be honest. It has a derogatory tone to it.

If women who are using these services reject these terms then I'm sure it will change. They just need to ask the patient what they prefer, not assume what they think is correct and the least offensive. That way everyone is referred to how they want to be.

There should'nt even be any bloody debate.

ONLY women give birth. Almost all will want to be called mum or mother.

Why do we need to pander to the demands of the minuscule number of females who want to use their female body to get pregnant whilst claiming to not be women?

It isn't 'inclusive' to dehumanise the majority because a few females are seemingly triggered by words, but not their biology? How convenient to pick and choose.

Men don't get pregnant or give birth. We don't need to pretend otherwise.

No OP of course you’re not wrong or unreasonable.

Once you start to understand the reason behind WHY this erosion of words which relate to and describe women is happening - then it’s impossible to not be angry or outraged.

And for those who say it’s just words and what does it matter - well it matters because those terms offer is protected rights. If you remove the word woman, you begin to undo our protected rights to things like same sex health care. The right to ask for a female nurse or a female police officer etc.

Do not underestimate how important it is to protect the definition of woman and everything which goes with it - which motherhood exclusively does. Because men can’t grow or birth a child. Women and Trans Men can. That’s fine. But the just majority of mothers are women, not trans men.

If you want to get really fired up, head over to the feminism boards

I don't think I could use it, and I also think I'd challenge it if it was used in relation to me.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

It matters. A lot! Birth giver is a hideous term, and unnecessary anyway - we already have the words women and mothers. The only people who can give birth.

Why do we need to pander to the demands of the minuscule number of females who want to use their female body to get pregnant whilst claiming to not be women?

@Whatsnewpussyhat couldn’t agree more, and you’ve put it better than I ever could 😂

And for those who say it’s just words and what does it matter - well it matters because those terms offer is protected rights.

And also words inform the way we think. Which is, er, kind of important.

You are definitely NBU and I agree with you 100%

If it matters so little that TRAs think real women shouldn't be kicking up a fuss, then it doesn't matter enough to them so why are they so aggressively pushing for the language change?

Words matter.
A woman gives birth or a woman who thinks they do not feel like a woman but still biologically is - that's how they can give birth.

Fake women & other sorts of men cannot give birth & have nothing to do with maternity departments or the woman centric language they should be using for the safety, clarity & comfort of the biological women who are the only ones who ever require that service.

Erasing real women from maternity services should be treated as the hate speech it is.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

It matters if you're a woman.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

Me. I really care. How can women hold value in society - or be safeguarded - if we can't even be named.

I find it distressing if I'm being honest. After 2 emergency sections, I really struggle with the idea that I gave birth (as far as I'm concerned I did not...this is not a judgement call about csections in general but is based on my own experiences) and if anyone tried to call me that in person I'd be unimpressed.

Why does the distress of those who struggle with "mother" outweigh the distress of those of us who find the term repulsive/exclusionary? After dc1 arrived, a male psychiatric social worker insisted on using the phase "gave birth" even after I explained how it made me feel (I had postpartum psychosis), no empathy or kindness to be seen. It really didn't help my recovery.

If I saw a sign like that in a hospital I’d cross out “birth giver” and write “pregnant woman”. I refuse to acknowledge these ridiculous terms.