To be so annoyed by the term birth givers

[UniverseSeekerUK]

Having seen that some NHS trusts have decided to use the term Birth Giver it has really annoyed me. It feels as though while they are trying to be inclusive, they are slowly ridding women of everything that is unique to them. Periods, breastfeeding, giving birth are now being generalized and it almost feels as though being a woman won't even be a recognized thing anymore.

Is there no way we can achieve inclusivity without reminding ourselves that women are the sex that do all of these things?

AIBU to be so annoyed by the term birth givers?

I would be absolutely furious if someone to referred to me as that, you're not being unreasonable at all. I hate all of this. It's wiping out women 100%. Absolutely disgusting!

@Nellle

Literally never seen the phrase "birth-giver" or "chest-feeder" being used IRL and can't care about it until I do.

Plenty of people say these words are being used to erase "woman", but I'm yet to see it.

I used to think like this, like what's the fuss about? Until my kids started coming home from school talking about the children in the school (mostly female) deciding they were trans, or non binary, binding their breasts. One of them who I know stating she wanted to removed all her reproductive organs.. she's 11.

Half of my child's friendship group deciding they didn't want to be female.
Kids being totally obsessed with their gender to the point it's all they talk about.
Kids are so easy to manipulate if it isn't affecting you right now, this new generation who are being fed all this stuff online and by teachers who are in trusted positions will be pushing it forward.
I suggest you Google what is happening in universities as well where critical thinking and free speech is being iradicated.
If you don't agree with them you are hounded out.
Women are unable to work in their roles simply because they state that you can't change sex, that biological sex exists.

It's bonkers, and pretty scary.

I would complain if I was referred to as birth giver. Women give birth and they breastfeed (if they choose to do so).

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

Who cares ?? WOMEN CARE !

Actuall women ... those born with a uterus and ovaries

I’ve just realised what it is. These are akk weird, cringy, alien type names. Not something warm, inclusive and welcoming but odd and creepy. Birth giver, chest feeder.

They could have chosen so many words - why choose those ones?

"BirthGiversNet' would be way more PC

So what if someone has transitioned yet given birth. What should they be called ? What does it matter what someone else is called? If you want to be called mother then great if you want to be called birth giver (which personally I think is so horribly clinical). Then great. I never understand why it bothers anyone what someone else wants to be called

Because they are dictating what we should all be called.

And because if male people want to be called women then there is no longer a word for female people.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

If it doesn't matter and nobody cares, then there is obviously no need to erase the word 'mother' and replace it with 'birth giver'.

Chest feeding? grin men have breasts (ie a small amount of breast tissue). They can even get breast cancer

@KitchenTowel
We don’t call mens chest breasts though so we? Language is important. Words are important.

@LuckyAmy1986

Chest feeding? grin men have breasts (ie a small amount of breast tissue). They can even get breast cancer

@KitchenTowel
We don’t call mens chest breasts though so we? Language is important. Words are important.

I think the pp meant that breastfeeding is accurate whether you identify as a man or a woman, (because even men have breasts, technically), so there’s no need to change the terminology even for transmen.

Where? And are you sure that if that is true then it’s not to just be used with someone non-binary who has asked not to be called ‘mother’?
There was a lot of fuss about our trust bringing in ‘chest feeding’ but it ( according to my midwife friend who works in the Trust) is for use only with Trans and non-binary birth parents who would rather that was used over breast feeding and alongside ‘breastfeeding’ for all other mothers. We’re in a city with enough trans/ non-binary pregnancies for it to be used.

‘ there’s no need to change the terminology even for transmen.’

If a midwife or HCP is assisting a transman with feeding their newborn then it should be up to the parent involved how they’d like to be referred to, terminology used shouldn’t it?

Gross. It makes me very grateful that even though I really hate the term ‘lady’, I saw an obstetrician who still referred to her patients as pregnant women/ladies.

I don’t actually believe that this language change is being pushed by transmen. The minute portion of transmen who are using their female body to give birth are already overcoming more significant aspects of gender dysphoria. They have also been socialised as female during childhood, and generally we aren’t socialised to believe we are that important! I’d say this push is 100% coming from the other side. A vocal % of transwomen do not want the word woman anywhere near something that they will never do and experience. Once again, it’s people born male that are trying to erase our existence. Misogyny at its finest!

@Furbulousnous

‘ there’s no need to change the terminology even for transmen.’

If a midwife or HCP is assisting a transman with feeding their newborn then it should be up to the parent involved how they’d like to be referred to, terminology used shouldn’t it?

1. What has been proposed, as I understand it, is not that people can choose their own chest/breastfeeding lingo as they choose their own pronouns, but that the HCPs refer to chest feeding/birth givers for everyone.
2. Whilst I accept that there’s probably no harm done if it’s on an individual level, in the context of chest feeding specifically, a transman’s request on that basis would make no sense whatsoever, since men do in fact have breasts (albeit with absolutely no hope of ever producing milk from them).
3. If a trans man has gone through with a pregnancy and literally grown a baby in their womb and then proposes to feed it milk produced from their breasts, it’s a bit rich to quibble over the terminology at that point isn’t it? You may as well say they should be allowed to request that HCPs refer to it as “magic moo moo feeding” or something else equally nonsensical.

This pair of tweets from almost exactly a year ago will tell you everything about who is driving the demand for terms like "birth givers".

Version for those using screen readers

President Biden [on official President of the US twitter account]:

Today, I issued a Presidential Memorandum to protect and expand access to reproductive health care. I am fully committed to protecting women’s health here at home and around the world.

Reply: Hi President Biden! Thank you so much for doing this. I'm wondering if you could adjust your wording from "women's healthcare" to "healthcare for people who get pregnant and bleed". I am a (trans) woman, but don't need these services. Thank you for your work!

Birthgiversnet.com

Catchy.

YANBU, and this bullshit has to stop.

It’s absurd. Of course it is. It’s laughable

Try living in Scotland. Posters all over schools with it.

I have told my kids it’s utter horse shite and the government is insane.

@Whatsnewpussyhat

There should'nt even be any bloody debate.

ONLY women give birth. Almost all will want to be called mum or mother.

Why do we need to pander to the demands of the minuscule number of females who want to use their female body to get pregnant whilst claiming to not be women?

It isn't 'inclusive' to dehumanise the majority because a few females are seemingly triggered by words, but not their biology? How convenient to pick and choose.

Men don't get pregnant or give birth. We don't need to pretend otherwise.

This 🙌

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

This pair of tweets from almost exactly a year ago will tell you everything about who is driving the demand for terms like "birth givers".

Version for those using screen readers

President Biden [on official President of the US twitter account]:

Today, I issued a Presidential Memorandum to protect and expand access to reproductive health care. I am fully committed to protecting women’s health here at home and around the world.

Reply: Hi President Biden! Thank you so much for doing this. I'm wondering if you could adjust your wording from "women's healthcare" to "healthcare for people who get pregnant and bleed". I am a (trans) woman, but don't need these services. Thank you for your work!

Thank you for screen-shotting this. I think it’s very telling.

I strongly support the provision of specialist health information for trans people. I’m not OK with women being erased to make trans women feel more comfortable. That isn’t right.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

I find it distressing if I'm being honest. After 2 emergency sections, I really struggle with the idea that I gave birth (as far as I'm concerned I did not...this is not a judgement call about csections in general but is based on my own experiences) and if anyone tried to call me that in person I'd be unimpressed.

Why does the distress of those who struggle with "mother" outweigh the distress of those of us who find the term repulsive/exclusionary? After dc1 arrived, a male psychiatric social worker insisted on using the phase "gave birth" even after I explained how it made me feel (I had postpartum psychosis), no empathy or kindness to be seen. It really didn't help my recovery.

I have previously had vaginal deliveries & recently an ELCS. I also feel that the C section wasn’t giving birth. Nothing like it in fact. Was significantly less traumatic so I was very glad for that but I didn’t ‘give’ anything because I didn’t participate in any way. I see why that term would bother you.

I was never referred to as, or ever heard, any of the terms banded about in the press. If I had I would have politely corrected but it didn’t happen. I very much doubt the likelihood of this language being adopted in actuality any time soon.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

This pair of tweets from almost exactly a year ago will tell you everything about who is driving the demand for terms like "birth givers".

Version for those using screen readers

President Biden [on official President of the US twitter account]:

Today, I issued a Presidential Memorandum to protect and expand access to reproductive health care. I am fully committed to protecting women’s health here at home and around the world.

Reply: Hi President Biden! Thank you so much for doing this. I'm wondering if you could adjust your wording from "women's healthcare" to "healthcare for people who get pregnant and bleed". I am a (trans) woman, but don't need these services. Thank you for your work!

The absolute self absorption and arrogance.

Biden probably gave in too - he is very close to the Prizker family. He also promoted a transwoman, Rachel Levibe to be a 4 star General - fine if Levine was the best person for the job. But breathlessly congratulated in mainstream media as 'First Female ...'

Very disrespectful to women and part of an impossible to miss pattern

YANBU. Any midwife referring to me as such will be given short shrift. I’m a Mother, and when I was pregnant I was a pregnant woman and expectant mother. If I get pregnant again and am called a “birth giver” I’ll go beserk.

It does matter. It really matters. It makes me feel sad, and weird and more wary of healthcare. Changing language has impacts. Of course it does, or they wouldn't be trying to do it.

This is heartening though. They've used the word women all over this article. I wonder if they'll get disciplined for it...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-60205239

I’ve come across trans women who also think what’s happening with the TRA is ridiculous and appalling. They even say self ID is bad news and easily used by predators.