To be so annoyed by the term birth givers

[UniverseSeekerUK]

Having seen that some NHS trusts have decided to use the term Birth Giver it has really annoyed me. It feels as though while they are trying to be inclusive, they are slowly ridding women of everything that is unique to them. Periods, breastfeeding, giving birth are now being generalized and it almost feels as though being a woman won't even be a recognized thing anymore.

Is there no way we can achieve inclusivity without reminding ourselves that women are the sex that do all of these things?

AIBU to be so annoyed by the term birth givers?

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.
No one was 'frothing', that's just something people with no point to make use to try and shut women down. And you cared enough to read the thread AND type a comment.

Anyway, I think it's an awful expression and it keeps happening. I am a woman and a mother, not a birth giver or person with a cervix. It's who I am and it matters to me.

This issue quite literally arose this morning when I was out with my elderly mum. Someone was doing a survey and we stopped to help ... the first question was 'are you a birth giver?'. My mum's scathing look and immediate put down of 'don't be so ridiculous' was absolutely priceless. The young lady doing the survey looked so shocked. Laughed about this all morning.

I've asked for all of these terms to be kindly not used for me during my pregnancy/birth/care. I'm usually laid back and open minded towards things but for some reason I just cannot accept being called a birth person who is chest feeding their baby 🤷🏻 makes me sad

It’s all done to please a tiny minority of a tiny minority. They just happen to have the loudest voices and it sucks
There's your answer.
Women need to be shouting back loud and clear. There's more of us than them if you are saying it's a tiny minority if a tiny minority.

There's no use complaining if 'you' are not going stand up for yourself and fight back.
Whinging on MN isn't going to change anything.

I’m so annoyed I just changed my username.

Think I prefer the term life givers to birth givers. But agree with OP - term birth givers is totally ridiculous.

Just say you "don't identify" as a "birth giver" and ask them to respect your choice of plural noun (mothers or women) when communicating with you, whether verbally or in writing.

There is no longer a word for "biologically female people".

That's how women are being erased.

Well put.

@Onlywomengivebirth

I’m so annoyed I just changed my username.

Love this!

YANBU.

Of course there needs to be alternative terms, for those to whom they apply, but I'm sick of the words woman, mother etc being erased. Using terms like 'birth giver' as a blanket term, isn't encompassing like it's claimed, as it erases women.

Exactly. Women are the only ones Biologically capable of giving birth.

As a midwife I have not been asked nor will I change the language I use on a day to day basis.

Of course, If I ever looked after someone who was trans then I would adjust my terminology accordingly, same as when I look after a same sex couple or surrogates. But in 6 years working within London I have never come across this so have never needed to.

It is woman, mother, breastfeeding for me unless I care for someone who needs me to change for whatever reason that may be.

If we are going down that route then the term midwife will need to be changed as it means 'with woman'.

Horrible woke terminology and more evidence of erasing WOMEN in society (we’ve seen the same for periods, cervix’s and breastfeeding - all exclusively female)! The word they are missing is MOTHER, and any other term is derogatory and an insult to all mothers.

@notacooldad

It’s all done to please a tiny minority of a tiny minority. They just happen to have the loudest voices and it sucks There's your answer. Women need to be shouting back loud and clear. There's more of us than them if you are saying it's a tiny minority if a tiny minority.

There's no use complaining if 'you' are not going stand up for yourself and fight back.
Whinging on MN isn't going to change anything.

A woman was fired from employment for stating 'there are only two sexes'.

A woman recently received a visit from Police at her house for stating that the crisis service she runs for those who have lost a pregnancy due to domestic abuse (by men) is single sex, despite this being a legally allowed exemption in the Equality Act 2010.

Joanna Cherry received credible rape threats from a member of her own political party for saying that women deserve single sex spaces.

Kirkcaldy Police investigated stickers on lampposts which said 'women won't wheesht' as a hate crime.

These are only a few examples. There are countless others.

The chilling effect means that women who cannot afford to be fired from employment cannot speak up. Women's free speech is being actively demonised and stifled.

'Whining' on Mumsnet is a women's rights movement. There is campaigning, fundraising, links to petitions, sharing of information and links. That's why the FWR board is under constant attack.

That's such an interesting point @Dinosauratemydaffodils Reminiscent of the riddle of Macbeth (who could not be defeated by any man 'born of woman' - but could by one effectively born by section).

Word play, with consequences.

It should be an option to tick on a person's notes. Use what term the individual is comfortable with as they read the notes before dealing with you anyway.

I thought 'birth giver' was something for lesbian couples where both are mothers but only one gave birth to the child.

@Viviennemary

Does it really matter. All this frothing. Who cares.

Do you want to run the risk of being raped by a penis-haver in a females only safe space? No? Then it matters.

What are they planning on calling the breast screening clinic then? The chest screening clinic?

COPD anyone? Or perhaps pulmonary TB 🤔

@ddl1

I've never heard anyone use it; but organizations use odd bureaucratic terms. I would have assumed it to be a way of distinguishing biological from adoptive/ foster/ stepmothers, rather than about gender; but .. it's an extremely silly term, but I can't get worked up about it. (Now imagining Neil Reid singing 'Birth giver sweet birth giver of mine!' - no, I don't think it's going to catch on.)

As far as I know, adoptive parents have nothing to do with this - they use birth mother and mother.

Yes, @Cattenberg. That makes the point much more cleverly than I but exactly.

Birth and women's medicine can be extremely dehumanising and disrespectful in the best of circumstances. My most recent birth definitely was. I really do not think being labelled 'birth givers' is anything other than a huge step backwards in trying to right these situations.

@ClariceQuiff

Is this not for clarity where the couple are same sex, i.e. both women? They might both be 'mother' to the child but only one of them will give birth.

I’m sure the context will make it pretty obvious. In a lesbian relationship you’re hardly going to get the non-pregnant one rocking up for her midwife appointments and scans.

Yanbu op, I hate it too.

I am WOMAN, hear me roar.

I care.

I am a woman.

I do not care.

I am still referred to as a breastfeeding mother.

The term birthgiver does not apply to my circumstances.