Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

If your dad/mum is abusive and toxic, you must be grateful you’ve got a dad/mum at all because one poster’s lovely mum/dad died and they’d give anything to have them back.

Your partner is an abusive shitbag towards you but he’s ‘a great dad’.

Everyone has a spare room.

Everyone has a hobby that is so unique it cannot possibly be identified because otherwsie we will immediately know who you are due to said uniqueness of activity.

Extremely complex parking disputes requiring diagrams

Bleaching the skirt boards

Everyone lives “very rurally” and every household absolutely needs a 4 wheel drive per person

Blatant misuse of the word “grim”

Everyone's kid gets straight 9s at GCSE

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

@EatYourVegetables

Extremely complex parking disputes requiring diagrams

Bleaching the skirt boards

Everyone lives “very rurally” and every household absolutely needs a 4 wheel drive per person

Blatant misuse of the word “grim”

Or they live very rurally and don’t drive.

Everyone who is a single parent has 50/50 with their ex (don’t know anyone in real life that has 50/50)

All exes pay ££££s in child maintenance way more than what the cms suggest

Can’t figure out how often to shower, wash their bedding, hair, etc

Refuses to give a wedding gift, as do all their friends

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

Really?

I would have said the opposite is more likely to be a MN cliché

If you admit you own a loo brush it is implied you would be better off on 'the other side'..

• DH/DP made you dinner and ran you a bath? He is clearly controlling and abusing you, and you must LTB immediately even if you have nowhere to go other than the streets.

• Surely you go on holiday, preferably somewhere exotic, at least 5 times a year? No? There is clearly something fundamentally wrong with you and your life.

• Having multitudes of friends and family.

• If you don't clean your house every single day then you are a shattered.

• If you don't cook from scratch every single day then you are lazy and inept.

• If you are married then it's impossible to ever find another man attractive. You should never even glance at or think about other men.

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

That one is true tbf though.

Skinny jeans are out

Houses are simultaneously too small for double beds and dining tables while every teenager has their own ensuite bedroom and living room downstairs.

Having a cleaner seems a MN fav at the moment
Severe aphantasia that requires a parking diagram for even the simplest of situations. Oh and dont forget to remind the OP ' its the law' if they havent done one

People pay for the whole party's meal on celebrations

There certainly seems to be a disproportionate number of people who don't drive (as opposed not being able to for medical reasons). And who are married to/live with partners who don't drive either.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Houses are simultaneously too small for double beds and dining tables while every teenager has their own ensuite bedroom and living room downstairs.

That sounds about right - houses with lots of rooms, but rooms are small!

Evening wedding invitations are the height of rudeness

Weekly threads analysing things only seen on MN.

Make a chicken last a week

There is a money tree at the end of the garden to chuck cash at any problem that might arise.

Obsession with both the wearing and non wearing of masks during the pandemic.