Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

People asking what class they fall into even though they have a good idea which class they are already.

Then the argument that class isn't about earnings, as cost of living varies widely across the country. It's wearing shitty worn out tweed and living in dilapidated houses and not caring that make you middle/upper class.

Pointless question.

Any sexual situation that's outside of marriage or even slightly kinky is 'grim'.

@VickyEadieofThigh

Every child is SEN

OR "academically very bright". None, it seems are somewhere in between, ever.

In fairness that is true of every single parent I have ever spoken to. All children are either ahead or have some kind of SEND. No one ever has a perfect average child. Which is odd as the schools are full of them.

That people choose to spent the cost of a house deposit on a wedding and then moan of Facebook how broke they are and that it's the older generations fault

That people think inheriting money from parents is wrong

That wedding invites are treated like a summons and must be obeyed

That bridesmaids dictate what they will wear and that you must attend the expensive hen party

@Ionlydomassiveones

If you have the temerity to be a size 12 then you are disgusting and unhealthy. Anything over a size 12 is just God’s punishment for stuffing your unworthy fat obese face and you are not welcome on MN. MN will tolerate size 10s and below only.

And those of us who are over a 12, do exercise daily and don’t ‘guzzle’ crisps all day long are clearly lying about one of those things. (I’ll wait, they will be along in a minute.)

I've been going to various gyms/swimming pools regularly for over ten years. I have never yet seen anyone "prancing around" naked in the communal changing room. People are briefly naked for as long as it takes to get dried and dressed and that's it. Don't know where MNers are going, but I hope the membership fees reflect the experience.

If a hobby is outing it's cycling.
Every other OP has anxiety.
Shopping in places I'd never heard of till I joined MN, like Boden, Fat whatsit, White whatever.

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

It is. Maybe not all, but most problems in a woman's life can be solved doing these two things.

*by doing

The number of people with "social anxiety" is astounding.

People are too stupid to understand a parking issue and need a drawing to explain it

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

But they are aren't they?😁

@GreenWheat

The number of people with "social anxiety" is astounding.

Which is usually "through the roof"

Your MiL is a competitive bitch.

@Biker47

No-one who is horrible, is just horrible, it's always they have some form of autism or personality disorder and should be understood instead of derided, meanwhile back in the real world... some people are just massive cunts for no reason other than they can and want to be.

I was once put on the naughty step for even suggesting this!

There was a thread recently about a mum stressing about taking her baby to a pub with a wood burner. Everyone said Oh my god I hate those things, they are destroying the lungs of the world , their neighbours have one and they can't open their windows ever again blah blah.
This week there was a thread about whether the presence of a log burner in house would put you off buying it. Everyone came on to say how much they loved them, thought they made a house cosy, would put one in if it wasn't already there.
What ??????,

Oh god the competitive undereating and nutrition angst. People being told that their kids eat too much fruit - just think of the sugar! - can't believe you had lentil soup, it's so carby etc etc

If your dad/mum is abusive and toxic, you must be grateful you’ve got a dad/mum at all because one poster’s lovely mum/dad died and they’d give anything to have them back

But also being upset your mum/dad is dead, and being told 'well be grateful you had a loving parent, my mum was never involved in my life etc etc'

The Freedom Programme will fix everything.

Ha! I've never checked if it's the same poster every time, but I swear that people are getting paid per mention of Lundy Bancroft's name.

Vegans who turn up at your house unannounced and expect you to whip up a plant based feast within minutes, whilst tutting loudly every time someone eats their non-vegan food 😂😉

@CanofCant

Oh and a fucking spa day is the cure for all ills.

The spa day is always mentioned on these threads but I've never actually seen it anywhere else.

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

What about a spa day?

No one seems to like their daughters-in-law very much.

Things I read about on here but never encounter in real life:

Mumsnet chicken that feeds a family of 6 for a week.

Elf on the Shelf.

Christmas Eve pyjamas and presents.

The phrase ‘picky tea’.

People not answering doors.

Wedding invitations, bridezillas etc.