Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

To be fair, these probably would solve a lot of my problems 🤣

@Stellaris22

"That Jeremy Corbyn is to blame for everything that's wrong in the country despite never running it"

Definitely this!

We're reading different threads! There's a lot of hate for the current government if you want it.

That things written on MN are so hilarious they cause people to 'literally spit their tea out'.

Every child is SEN, every man is a narcissist, everyone hates their PIL, boundaries must be rigid and enforced with aplomb etc

Everyone hates any who is outgoing. Anyone outgoing is SO draining; tjose who hate them have to stay in a dark room for 12 days after meeting anyone who enjoys conversation.

• anyone

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

I thought that was a spa day or a night in a hotel?

We're reading different threads! There's a lot of hate for the current government if you want it

Well - they are governing (theoretically), he never was!

@NuffSaidSam

On MN if you want a dog, you should get a retired greyhound.

That's just good advice.

I rest my case.

Being told to spend an evening in a hotel cos your husband has pissed you off, or going for a spa day.

His n her's massage at home then you feed steak to the Masseuse.

You must not, under any circumstances, open the door when someone knocks if you aren’t expecting anyone

Beat me to it @Grilledaubergines 🤣

That you have every right to make as much noise in your garden as it's 'your space' and stuff your neighbours
That having your kids jump off beds and scream daily is 'normal noise' neighbours have to tolerate living below you or beside you

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

To be fair, that worked very well with my first marriage

You lack the ability to tell if food is OK ro eat by sight or smell or even taste.

No one shouts at their kids ever

It's not ok to tell your partner to fuck off or use any profanity even in the heat of an argument.

You are able to come up with a whitty/ cutting comeback on the spot in any situation

That any male who gives a firm opinion on something is controlling.

The importance of the term is being lost through overuse. “My husband said he’d prefer broccoli to cauliflower for dinner”. “You have a controlling DH. Time to get your ducks in a row.”

Every single item of clothing is dated, try hard or only suits a tall slim 20 year old.
Everyone's DD is naturally beautiful, and everyone's DS is 6 foot 2.
Any work related issue can be resolved by going straight to HR.
The police are there for whenever your neighbour displeases you.

Never give your kids your husbands name

That having your neighbour dumping cars and fridges in their front garden, pilling up big bags or never cutting their lawn shouldn't bother you at all - ever

Everyone has a husband or partner or is a single parent.

You are not allowed to have an negative opinion on somebody of colour without being branded a racist, when their question was nothing to do with colour, just the persons personality.

cross the road when they see a smoker...

Lots of Katie Price supporters.

A lady letting the builder heat up his lunch in her Aga

@BubblyJu

Never give your kids your husbands name

Don’t give the kids your husband’s name, but absolutely do get married ‘for protection’. Even if you’re the higher earner.