Being automatically referred to as 'Mrs' on the basis of .. what?!

[Tailsyflugbun]

To expect a telephone receptionist to not assume I am married?!

Who cares!

Don't see why the default can't be Ms until told otherwise, or just use the person's name.

When people ring and ask "am I speaking to Mrs Emsworth" I always say, did you want to speak to my mum, she's not here sorry. It never ends well but always makes me feel better.

I care! Why am I being called Mrs when I'm not?!

@Svara

Don't see why the default can't be Ms until told otherwise, or just use the person's name.

I agree. I think the root of the problem is because I was asked for my surname, which I think is fairly unusual these days. So she then goes on to say 'I'll put your through Mrs T'.

I actually found it quite sexist.

@worriedmummyofboys

If u care then u clearly have too much time in your hands to worry about something insignificant. Just nicely correct her and I'm sure she will apologise and then move on

Seriously get a life. That's such a stupid thing to get worked up over and even to start a thread on here about!!

Don't be rude.

I didn't get a chance as it was the last thing she said before putting me through.

I am not 'worked up' about it in a personal sense. It does bother me in a global sense - that a young woman holds inherent sexist views/ that the company she works needs to address their training, etc.

It is very, very wrong these days to assume a woman is married.

It’s very sexist and I find it very annoying g too. I’ve been single, married and divorced and have never changed my name. Yet people still make assumptions about me and address me as Miss or Mrs. I’m sad that Ms never seems to have caught on widely.

How do you know if it was misses or mrs? I couldnt get grumpy about it, just say actually I prefer ms

When travelling/staying in hotels on business, I was always referred to as Mrs by hotel staff. It is one thing they can do to protect their guests from unwanted attentions. Every woman was Mrs, a sign of courtesy that I appreciated. Business travel is quite bad enough without some man hitting on you at breakfast. .

@worriedmummyofboys

If u care then u clearly have too much time in your hands to worry about something insignificant. Just nicely correct her and I'm sure she will apologise and then move on

Seriously get a life. That's such a stupid thing to get worked up over and even to start a thread on here about!!

If you think it's insignificant then why would you expect the receptionist to apologise? Either it's insignificant, or it's something to apologise for.

Less than half the women in Britain are married. Why assume that the woman you are speaking to IS married, when it is more likely that she is not?

@AnotherSillawithanS

Who cares!

Maybe I should have stamped my little foot when I was teaching and got called Mum by some stroppy 16 year old boy, oddly the girls very rarely made this mistake!

I agree @worriedmummyofboys

I should say that I don't want the receptionist to apologise, nor would I make a complaint about it, but am seriously considering somehow pointing it out to the company. I think the issue is that it's a global corporation selling a premium brand, but that it's still seen stereotypically as a 'male' product. Therefore, to me it smacks of the attitude that any woman phoning up must surely have the backing of a husband.

I think Mrs should be scrapped altogether. It derives from “of the master” or mister’s. Absolutely ridiculous outdated patriarchy in this day and age.

I’d assume Mrs is a courtesy title addressed to all women. Not necessarily trying to make a thing of your marital status. They can’t call all women Miss, and lots seem to object to Ms. Mrs for all is fine.

I often get called by my husbands surname, even though I kept my maiden name (much to DHs disgust). I don't care.
Sometimes I correct them but most of the time I don't bother. I've got a lot of more serious things happening at the moment so what people call me is at the bottom of my priority list.
If it bothers you then just correct them. Don't really see it as sexist though. I'd say people assuming I use my husbands surname is more sexist.

That'd annoy me too @Tailsyflugbun

@Snowiscold

I’d assume Mrs is a courtesy title addressed to all women. Not necessarily trying to make a thing of your marital status. They can’t call all women Miss, and lots seem to object to Ms. Mrs for all is fine.

How is it a courtesy when it's often just incorrect? Personally I'm not sure why anyone would object to Ms anyway, it's the only option that doesn't assume marital status.

@Snowiscold

I’d assume Mrs is a courtesy title addressed to all women. Not necessarily trying to make a thing of your marital status. They can’t call all women Miss, and lots seem to object to Ms. Mrs for all is fine.

And for those who object to Mrs? Surely there is more reason to object to Mrs if you are not a Mrs than to Ms which does not state marital status? Males are Master as children, then Mr as adults, females should be able to use the equivalent Miss and Ms.

My dictionary says Mrs. = 1580s, abbreviation of mistress (q.v.), originally in all uses of that word. Prefixed to the name of a married woman by 1610s.

Regardless, it is wrong to assume. I'm not sure, other than in scenarios such as the safety aspect in a hotel (as PP mentioned) that we need to use Mr. Mrs. Ms anyway. If you're Jo Bloggs or Joe Bloggs surely that's enough?

In the whole scheme of things it's not a big deal, but when it is repeated chipping away at how you identify yourself, it's frustrating and insulting. I get called DH's surname a lot. I don't have DH's surname, never have, never use it on any correspondence, and yet people still call me by his name. I've been clear what my name is and it is very rude to disregard it.

I think it should be like it is in France - the French automatically address all adult women as Madame - Mademoiselle is reserved solely for girls.
We should either take the married/single connotation out of the equation, or enquire about how someone would like to be addressed or just use Madam.
I find I'm nearly always called Siobhan by all and sundry, no matter what the setting, and it feels very over-familiar. But that's a whole different thread.

It's not a courtesy title! Im not married, im my own person, economically, romantically,
legally, I live on my own. So Mrs feels like a put down to me.

@Snowiscold

I’d assume Mrs is a courtesy title addressed to all women. Not necessarily trying to make a thing of your marital status. They can’t call all women Miss, and lots seem to object to Ms. Mrs for all is fine.

Why would that be? I'm not married, Mrs AffIt is my mum.

Why should I just randomly accept a stranger addressing me by a name that is not mine?

That’s a bit harsh @worriedmummyofboys

We all care about things that aren’t life-or-death, and we all post about them sometimes. Good job too, or the internet would be miserable.