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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you give your sister something in this situation?

273 replies

AlphaApple · 23/01/2022 08:49

To be clear I don't want or expect anything but my mum made a comment so I thought I would ask MN.

My sister worked for a start up that got bought by a multinational. Her shares were instantly worth £1.2m. She cashed in, left her job and walked into another, highly paid job.

My mum wondered if she had bunged me anything. I said no, I wouldn't want or expect anything (I am financially comfortable - not swimming in cash but enough to live the life I want). AIBU to think my sister's money is hers alone?

OP posts:
Hungry625f · 23/01/2022 08:51

Hers alone. Absolutely

londonrach · 23/01/2022 08:51

Totally agree. It's your sisters money. However if me I'd be taking my sister out for a spa weekend or something to thank her for the support she gave me

girlmom21 · 23/01/2022 08:53

I wouldn't give my sisters anything.
Apart from potentially helping the one who's struggling from debt that was caused by a situation outside of her control - but I'll do that as soon as I can afford to if she still needs help.

UnicornPoopsRainbows · 23/01/2022 08:54

I would take my loved ones out for a meal. That’s it.

falalalalalalablahblah · 23/01/2022 08:55

It's absolutely her money. However, I would happily bung my sister ££ in this instance, if it helped her out, and she would do the same for me. Depends on your relationship, I'd say. I'd also bung my parents and in laws something, if they would be happy to accept. £1.2mill is life changing money and I couldn't just keep it to myself. Different strokes, and all that.

55Jumbo · 23/01/2022 08:56

If I suddenly came into £1.2m then yes I'd bung some to my siblings and parents.

Biker47 · 23/01/2022 08:57

I wouldn't expect anything.

Annabelll · 23/01/2022 08:58

I’m really close to my sister so yes, if I got £1.2 million I would probably give her a reasonably large amount so she could use it to make her life easier easier.

LaMariposa · 23/01/2022 08:58

I wouldn’t expect anything. My sister has no dependents and earns around £100k a year, sometimes more. I earn about £20k and have children that are money sinks.
I sometimes eye roll to myself when she tells me I should get my hair coloured/eyebrows done/join her fancy gym, but mostly I don’t even think about it - she works very hard and travels a lot.

toddlerdanger · 23/01/2022 08:59

It's not that much money that you could just give loads away. If she got 20 million, maybe, but just maybe she could lend you money if you needed if for something really important.

I would not expect money from my sis if she got 1.2 million. But if I was a single mum, struggling on benefits- then maybe I would expect some kind of small help to be honest. It depends on your personal circumstances a lot I think.

Schoolchoicesucks · 23/01/2022 08:59

If a sibling was struggling, in debt or unsecured housing the I would help them out.

If they were doing OK financially, then I'd probably treat them all to something like a big family holiday rather than giving them money.

Womencanlift · 23/01/2022 09:00

For £1.2m my sister and I would be on the first flight to New York and I would be treating her to a shopping spree

GiantSpider · 23/01/2022 09:01

Your mum may be asking not because she expected your sister to give you some, but so that she knows whether to adjust her own behaviour. Eg she might change her will to give you a greater share, but is just checking before she does that to make sure you haven't already benefited.

Tbh if I came into that amount of money I would give some to my sibling.

Hathertonhariden · 23/01/2022 09:02

I would give some to my immediate relatives because I know that it would make a big difference to them. If my sibling was that comfortable I'd probably offer to treat them to a nice holiday.

Perhaps your mum is thinking about adjusting her will in light of your sister's good fortune.

Movingsoon21 · 23/01/2022 09:02

Has she had to pay CGT? If so, the money she actually got will be a lot less (though still a lot). As it’s through work I wouldn’t expect anything and wouldn’t give anything in this situation. I would if it was a lottery win

AD3000 · 23/01/2022 09:04

Yes, if that much money came my way I'd definitely give my sister some and I'm sure she'd do the same for me.

LawnFever · 23/01/2022 09:04

If I came into £1.2m I’d help out family, but your sister is under no obligation to and it’s her money to do what she likes with.

SalsaLove · 23/01/2022 09:05

Yes, I would give some to my sibling. In my case I’ve just been more fortunate financially so would want to balance things out.

MindyStClaire · 23/01/2022 09:05

I wouldn't, and no one would know that level of detail either.

Adeleskirts · 23/01/2022 09:07

Wh would she possibly give you money? You’re a grown adult and not entitled to her earnings.

roses2 · 23/01/2022 09:07

If she buys herself a lovely house and treats herself to a nice holiday then it's all gone. Why should she give you some? Did you help get her to this place?

user1487194234 · 23/01/2022 09:08

Am very close to my siblings and would give them a substantial sum

TopCatsTopHat · 23/01/2022 09:08

Hers alone for sure.
It would be nice if she gave you something especially if she knew you were struggling (if you are) but no expectation.
My sister came into a large life changing sum of money at a time when I was heading towards bankruptcy (I'm OK now, managed to turn it around), she gave me not one bean. Entirely her prerogative. I was hurt I won't deny as she knew my situation and if the positions were reversed I would definitely helped her. So now I know we have very different attitudes to money.
I got over it though and don't hold it against her. It was her money so her choice.

GrandmasCat · 23/01/2022 09:08

Why would she? It is totally her decision how to go about her own finances.

Your mum is wrong in expecting you to share everything as when you were little kids. Life changes, you live different lives, you both take your own decisions about your own money, if you want to share your money with each other that is fine, same if you don’t.

refraction · 23/01/2022 09:09

@Annabelll

I’m really close to my sister so yes, if I got £1.2 million I would probably give her a reasonably large amount so she could use it to make her life easier easier.
This! Probably about 200k.