Would you give your sister something in this situation?

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To be clear I don't want or expect anything but my mum made a comment so I thought I would ask MN.

My sister worked for a start up that got bought by a multinational. Her shares were instantly worth £1.2m. She cashed in, left her job and walked into another, highly paid job.

My mum wondered if she had bunged me anything. I said no, I wouldn't want or expect anything (I am financially comfortable - not swimming in cash but enough to live the life I want). AIBU to think my sister's money is hers alone?

Yes I would definitely. Give her some money so she could buy herself and her family something nice. Share the love

If it was just a passing comment maybe your mum is just wondering or thinking about her will etc.

This is such a mumsnet thing to say, but it’s not that much money. I’ve never had anything like that much, but I have seen the terrifying amounts you ‘need’ in a pension pot to guarantee a comfortable retirement. If she was burning through it, it would be nice to treat family. However, if she bought a house and invested the rest for the future, I wouldn’t expect anything.

I used to pay for everything when I had a job and my sister was a student, but I don’t so much now, even though she earns less.

My DD's would definitely treat each other and my GC (their nieces). It would be at least a luxury holiday. I wouldn't get anything from my sister, nor would my children. She's older and set the relationship, she's also a hoarder, so it could be money thrown away. If she was struggling to buy a car, I'd buy it for her, though. We live in the northwest, so that money goes far, if you had to buy housing down south for you and your children, there'd be less to splash around.

If I came into 1.2m, I would definitely enjoy handing out some of that money to family - even 5k for a holiday or some home updating.

Yes it’s hers alone, and while a million is amazing, it’s pay off your mortgage and top up pension money, then that’s gone.

It would be different if you were struggling.

I personally would give my sister a little something for her child's future education or something but not if she described it as a "bung". That suggests she wouldn't appreciate the value of it

If I came into that kind of money I would help family in need but you said you were comfortable

£1.2M is loads if walked into another job. We have always been brought up to share. Not saying give her loads but at least a couple of hundred thousand. People are greedy and have forgotten how to share. If the relationship is not close or completely broken down then that's another thing.

If it was me I'd probably by my dsis a new car and take her on holiday, probably every year. But it absolutely shouldn't be expected. In my family we share our good fortune, like my dm recently won £500 on the premium bonds and gave me and dsis £100 each. I often pay when dsis and I go out cos I'm a higher earner, but if we're with dm she tends to pay

@Schoolchoicesucks

If a sibling was struggling, in debt or unsecured housing the I would help them out.

If they were doing OK financially, then I'd probably treat them all to something like a big family holiday rather than giving them money.

I'd do a lovely family holiday too

I don't think your mum should have asked you tbh. It creates an expectation that probably wasn't there before, and that could lead to resentment.

If I came into money suddenly, I'd be more likely to help some of my friends that my sibling tbh. I get on OK with my sister but we are not close and she isn't struggling financially it would be different if she was. Some of my friends are in much more precarious situations and I would want to help them out first.

I’d 100% give some sort of lump sum to family. We are super close and I’d want them to enjoy my good fortune. But they wouldn’t expect anything.

As a mum of two adult DDs my brain says no, but my heart says yes she should .
They might be adults but they are still my children and I want them both to have good fortune. I spent years making them share as children it’s a hard habit to break.
Team mum all the way!

No, I wouldn’t expect anything, or give anything.

Well if it was me I would help/treat my family but not everyone is the same.

50% went in tax for a start

Have had similar - not quite as much- didn’t think for a second of giving any to my siblings

But also I didn’t tell them
Why would you?

I think it is very revealing of mindset when people’s first response is ‘Why would I?’

Obviously if you don’t get on with a sibling or if they are already much better off than you, it wouldn’t make sense, but otherwise, why wouldn’t you?

Why would I? Because I love my sisters and would want to be able to share my good fortune.

Interesting moral dilemma, I am a lot older and both my siblings have their own property, car, decent holidays etc. I certainly wouldn't comment about how much money I received in such circumstances.

Personally I would be more inclined to give a decent sum to charity.

If I was the sister I wouldn't expect to get anything as it is hers alone, but if was the person who came into the money I'd give my sister £100k, just because.

Why would I? Because I love my sisters and would want to be able to share my good fortune.

Exactly, this is the norm in my family.

It's hers alone but I suppose it depends how close you are if she is going to give you anything. If it was me, I would definitely give a substantial sum to my brother. He has helped me and supported me more in my life than any money can buy.

It’s hers and she got it by working. It’s not a lottery win. I wouldn’t expect her to share it any more than I’d expect her to share her salary.

I'd buy a house outright with that (round here that would be 1million gone) and then do things like family holiday & I pay for the rental or other treat type things. If my sibling was struggling I'd give them some money.
If I then got more in shares I would give everyone in the family something.

No I wouldn't be giving money away. It's her alone.