...NOT to get a dog?

[LizLemonsGlasses]

Yet another family we know has got a puppy - it genuinely feels like we're the only ones of our peer group not to have a dog!

My working circumstances have changed in a way which makes it much more doable for us, plus we live in a rural area, we like to walk and get outside, and I know that if we were to do it, it feels like now or never - DDs are 15 and 12 - and we would get the most of it as a family before we blink and the kids are off to uni or work or whatever.

I appreciate the benefits from a family and relationships perspective and all the wellbeing aspects of having a dog - for mental and physical health etc... but I still balk at the commitment and the extra layer of daily work and general organisation involved. There are times when I already find work/life balance difficult so adding a dog into the mix doesn't seem like a great idea. But then I read about how people do it and the dog can slot in and feels like they've always had it etc. etc.

I heard Gretchen Rubin on a podcast advocating for getting a dog - she did it as a way of 'choosing the bigger life' and while I love that idea, I just don't know if it's right for us - and then I feel a bit guilty, am I denying us a 'bigger life'??

This is technically all still hypothetical as DH remains less convinced than I am by that argument and we'd obviously have to be in agreement. And the solution can't be: get a cat - I am 100% a cat person and would love one but DH is definitely not (I could write a whole other thread about this )

DD1 begs for a dog on an almost daily basis - especially now most of her friends have got one! - and it's getting harder to say no convincingly and without wondering if we really are missing out.

Are we doing the right thing NOT to get a dog?? Are we saying no to something that would really enhance our family life, and will we regret not giving ourselves and the DDs this life experience? Tell me we're not the only ones who still don't have a dog?!

It is work but honestly it's amazing. Could you adopt a dog instead seeing as you have older children and then can skip the puppy bit? They are super cute but also a lot of work!
Our lovely dog was put to sleep two years ago when our DC were 7 and 5, they still miss him, talk about him all the time. I never thought they were that fussed but turned out they loved just having him around to cuddle, talk to and walk. As soon as our circumstances allow we will have another one.
You are being very sensible though in your decision making, you have to want it as it will change your lives from what it is now.

I'm very conscious it's now or never, that my son will be off to uni and that this is a childhood experience he should have had.

It's not, though--and I think that the belief that your child "should have had" an experience simply because you had it, is the crux of the problem here. You may have experienced owning a dog when growing up and may have loved it, but it's hardly an essential component of a happy childhood. I'm really glad we didn't have a dog when I was a child, because it would have really restricted what we could do as a family.

@greenteafiend

I'm very conscious it's now or never, that my son will be off to uni and that this is a childhood experience he should have had.

It's not, though--and I think that the belief that your child "should have had" an experience simply because you had it, is the crux of the problem here. You may have experienced owning a dog when growing up and may have loved it, but it's hardly an essential component of a happy childhood. I'm really glad we didn't have a dog when I was a child, because it would have really restricted what we could do as a family.

The is definitely strikes a chord and has been the crux of my dilemma too - am I denying the kids a really good life experience? But I'm definitely seeing that you're right @greenteafiend there are plenty of other life experiences to be had - which are in fact easier to be had! - without one.

I'm hoping we can travel a bit more now kids are older, do some city breaks etc. I'm more mindful of not taking our freedom for granted thanks to this thread!

I'm not anti-dog, I totally see how easy they can be for some people and they are hugely beneficial for so many - it's why it's been so tempting to consider! - but I have a feeling I'd be one of those owners who would struggle with the downsides.

They great my daughter is 16. Its alot work though. I do bit more as she at school. Everything factored around him holidays etc. But he worth it I love him (jack russell). They big commitment

Everything factored around him holidays etc.

That's the bit that puts me off- I know some people who would factor in their dog when buying a house, if there are no decent parks or woodland etc.
I know of two families who found their dream houses, but not good for local dog walks, so didn't buy.

If you're this reluctant you shouldn't. Too many dogs end up in rescue so if you're not keen to start with I don't even see why you're thinking about it. There are lots of options now to walk or have a dog about or have arrangements with people whose dog could do with some company or extra walks. If you really are thinking about it I'd try this first and for a protracted time to have a bit of a sense of the commitment and if it's not for you it is a good way to have a dog in your life and enjoy time with a dog without getting one full time.