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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to be disappointed at 25th Wedding Anniv Gift from DH?

280 replies

OhhMeOhhMy · 21/01/2022 08:04

... A 2 day stay at a really really nice hotel/spa with highly rated restaurant for me and my DSis.

First world problems I know :(

But I still feel unhappy enough about to NC, and make a post. On the positive side I have mentioned wanting to go there in the past. I do get on with my DSis (we're close, but she is not my best friend)

Don't know what I was expecting really, but not this!

AIBU?

OP posts:
JuneOsborne · 21/01/2022 08:05

What did you get him?

What were you expecting?

HeddaGarbled · 21/01/2022 08:05

I think that’s a nice present. What were you hoping for?

itsanothernamechangeforme · 21/01/2022 08:06

I'm guessing you would have preferred to go somewhere with your husband?

Santahasjoinedww · 21/01/2022 08:06

Sorry that sounds roaringly loud his expectations of your marriage aren't the same as yours.

heyitsthistle · 21/01/2022 08:06

Seems like a lovely gift to me, although you going with your sister and not your husband is strange. Can you ask him to change DSis to DH?

Twinstudy · 21/01/2022 08:07

What is it that you don't like about it? Can you suggest the two of you go together rather than with your sister?

SportsMother · 21/01/2022 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

balzamico · 21/01/2022 08:19

The trip sounds lovely but I'd be a little offended that my dh didn't want to go with me, if not there then somewhere else

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 21/01/2022 08:24

It does seem a bit odd...

"Here you go, Wife...I've put up with you for 25yrs, so now you can bugger off with your sister for our wedding anniversary" Confused

Why didn't he just book a weekend away for both of you? Can you change the booking to him rather than her?

TheHoptimist · 21/01/2022 08:26

Why do you have to take you dsis?
Take him or your friend

GrazingSheep · 21/01/2022 08:27

I think that’s a nice present. What were you hoping for?

Probably a stay in a nice hotel with her husband??

TheHoptimist · 21/01/2022 08:28

Just say no, you don’t want to go
Arranging a trip with someone else isn’t on

shedevill · 21/01/2022 08:35

Er, sounds amazing! Even if you're not bestie with your sister, it would be a fabulous opportunity to reconnect. I imagine H thought the spa bit would be too girly and so a treat. Come on, that is kind of ungrateful

Totalwasteofpaper · 21/01/2022 08:36

Were you hoping to do something with him?

I'd really like this but would would expect to go with my DH!! Can you not just say you want to go with him?

TheHoptimist · 21/01/2022 08:37

@shedevill

Er, sounds amazing! Even if you're not bestie with your sister, it would be a fabulous opportunity to reconnect. I imagine H thought the spa bit would be too girly and so a treat. Come on, that is kind of ungrateful
I’m a member of a spa, lots of men go, in fact probably more couples than pairs of women.
LadyPenelope68 · 21/01/2022 08:40

You sound ungrateful and hard work.

TheHoptimist · 21/01/2022 08:42

@LadyPenelope68

You sound ungrateful and hard work.
She really doesn’t He sounds thoughtless and not willing to give his time to the relationship

But of course this is MN where a spa day holds hallowed status. Sons holy grail of desirability

AtillatheHun · 21/01/2022 08:42

In which case I too am ungrateful and hard work. A 25th wedding anniversary is about the marriage and the couple. A spa trip with a sister is awesome but not appropriate for the occasion. It’s hurtful.

knittingaddict · 21/01/2022 08:44

Blimey, all the disingenuous posts asking what the problem is. This seems to be endemic on mn recently.

It's bloody weird to arrange a hotel stay with someone other than your spouse on your anniversary. Really bloody weird.

I would be disappointed too op.

ahcmonnow · 21/01/2022 08:47

I'd be delighted with this! He probably thought you would enjoy some girlie time with your sis! If you are that bothered why don't you book a weekend away with him as your pressie?

Stepinside · 21/01/2022 08:49

This might sound strange, but IMHO it feels more like a very special birthday present than an anniversary one. For an anniversary I'd prefer something with both me and DH. It also depends on your relationship. I guess if you live very independent lives it could me sense.

My DH would certainly have ZERO interest in a spa. However, we're married 25+years too and he'd be 100% up for going to a nice hotel, good food and lots of sex Wink

TheHoptimist · 21/01/2022 08:50

@ahcmonnow

I'd be delighted with this! He probably thought you would enjoy some girlie time with your sis! If you are that bothered why don't you book a weekend away with him as your pressie?
Because it’s thoughtless and impersonal?
Stepinside · 21/01/2022 08:52

The poll results versus the comments are interesting.

80% - YABU (OP should not be disappointed)
20% - YANBU

Majority of the comments are from people YANBU. Interesting :)

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/01/2022 08:54

I'd be upset at a present that was for us to spend time apart, why not somewhere romantic for you two together?

WhenTheyComeForYou · 21/01/2022 08:56

Yep, unreasonable to me.

  1. you say it's a lovely spa and great restaurant

  2. you say you're close to your sister

  3. presumably you live with your husband and can spend time with him every/most evenings?

I'm sorry, but to me it's totally ungrateful to feel sad about a great gift.

If you wanted something else, you should have asked. But that's not what gifts are about. All of us get less than ideal gifts all the time, because unless you pick your own gifts, you'll be depending on someone elses opinion on what is a good gift which will likely differ in some way. Try to appreciate the thought.

Enjoy the trip with your sister OR ask your husband to go with you instead. If he doesn't want to, go with your sister and arrange something else with your husband another time.

Husbands arent just for anniversaries, you can always suggest something for the hell of it 😉