I don't want to people think i’m show off. Please help!!

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I think you sound lovely, and like someone who loves a party!
I had 70 kids at my daughter’s 6th - and I’m British 😀

In the kindest way possible, it might come across a 'trying too hard' which is, I think, a very British thing (I now live in Asia and have found there's no real concept of someone trying too hard and it being a negative thing! Here, people appreciate a lot of effort!). So I understand what you mean, and also what your friend means that it might be considered slightly strange in the UK. People won't necessarily think you're showing off but they might wonder why you're trying quite so hard.

The issue isn’t showing off, it’s just parents can’t afford to replicate or reciprocate the party - so they feel embarrassed to offer 3 kids a trip to the soon and a bag of chips.

If you don’t have many friends how will you get the big numbers for such a party?

If it’s 10 friends then they don’t need huge balloon arches, they wouldn’t notice it.

They just want to let off steam and have fun.

Everything sounds totally fine apart from the £35 Smiggle present. I would limit to £10-15 at that age, maybe £20 for a very close friend. Nobody is expecting a £35 present and I bet the parents are probably thinking 'argh more tat'.

I don't think your friend sounds very nice. I think she's jealous you can afford this and using the fact that you're from a different culture to "other" you.

I'm Scottish, but have lived in South and East Asia (Pakistan, Japan and Korea) and South America, and I remember being massively overwhelmed by parties for fairly 'bog standard' occasions (by British standards) at the time!

This is just a version of 'cut your cultural cloth to suit your pocket' - I've enjoyed terrific parties when living overseas, BUT within a certain cultural context. I wouldn't throw a wedding party to match some of the amazing Pakistani weddings I've been to, because I'm not Pakistani.

Can you take some elements of your culture and blend them in?

I don't see a problem with any the above with the exception of the balloon archway. Unnecessary, wasteful and really bad for the environment. I would roll my eyes at that.

But of course I accept different families have differing incomes and wouldn't judge anyone for spending a bit more on their child's party.

Some will say you are buying friends ( especially if you dont have many ), some will say you are showing off, some will be uncomfortable with the gifts and probably wont be able to give a gift back of a similar value. Lots of different things to think about here really. You can do what you like with your own money and for your child but .......my view would be you should just hold back a little.
Does a 6 year old notice all the fancy stuff at a party ??
Maybe save yourself all the time and effort and stick to nice basics.

Please don't do a balloon gate. They are such an environmentally unfriendly thing to do.

She's a jealous bitch and you sound fabulous

I don't think you should moderate what is a lovely and joyful part of your culture to fit in over here. Enjoy your celebrations in the way that feels best for you and your family and have fun! For what it's worth, I live in a low income area and birthdays with personalised items, balloon arches, soft play etc are the norm round here so I don't think it's the case that british people don't do these things as a rule.
On the expensive birthday gift, "it's too much" "you shouldn't have" could be interpreted as a way of just saying thank you for a generous gift.
Enjoy your little ones birthday - it's only once a year :)

You do you....if people don't like it, they can piss off.

I think it sounds fabulous- wish my kids could experience some of your culture.

Honestly, I was expecting some great big grand affair until you got to the very basic party arrangements. Your friend's thinking is very strange

I live in a very deprived/poor area and what you describe is a totally standard party, including the balloon arches which everyone orders from FB sellers and they'll often given them away straight after in the 'free' FB local groups.

The Smiggle gift was a bit too expensive in my eyes but not massively so.

It's your child's birthday, you should celebrate it however you want. Sounds like you put a lot of thought and effort into it, why shouldn't you?!

If someone was inviting my child to a party like that I would say omg this is amazing!!! Not 'I think this is too much'...sounds like abit jealous to me to be honest.

Your just throwing a really good well thought out party which you are paying for and it's your child. Good for you! Your hardly hiring a private jet for people to be asking questions.

Enjoy your party op

Do what makes you and your kid happy! You sound great!

The one element to hold back on is the present value - people always feel pressured to match it.

The party sounds normal. The Smiggle bag for a school friend birthday gift is a lot more than most would spend.

I would cut back on the cost of presents but otherwise I do all of what you've said in the past and I'm British. I'd imagine people do think I try too hard but I don't really care. I make a big deal of birthdays.

It sounds fabulous and will be a real 'experience' for children who haven't been to an Indonesian-scale party before. Balloon arch, everything. Your child, your party, your warm-hearted hospitality - sounds great. Do it your way.

Reminds me that around 1960 I went to a London-style party put on for a boy by his southern mother - i remember it over 60 years later (we'd have been around three years old) and I remember her because of it.

I think you sound generous and fun.

I don't even get how it's try hard though.

Nearly every home has a printer or the parents have access to one and personalised party backs are really cheap to order online.

OP, I hope you don't read that as me saying your party is 'cheap' or anything like that. I'm just literally saying it's very normal and run-of-the-mill.

*party bags

It sounds great. I hope your son has a wonderful birthday.

It’s sounds like it’s going to be fabulous and the kids will have a great time. Everyone does things differently and just because you have big events other people don’t have to do the same for their kids. My kids went to some really grand parties and some very ordinary parties in their friends houses with lemonade, sandwiches, sausage rolls and a supermarket birthday cake. There’d be a few games like pass the parcel, musical chairs etc a little party bag and a slice of cake to take home. The kids just went along with whatever type of party it was and just enjoyed themselves. Don’t apologise for having the type of party you are used to having . Hope you all have a great time. It’s nothing to do with your friend. Do what makes you happy.