I don't want to people think i’m show off. Please help!!

[NRRK28]

In 4 weeks my son gonna have a birthday party. He is 6 years old and we gonna have it in the softplay arena. I’ve been living in the uk for 8 years and not have many uk friends. Most of my friends are from indonesia which where i came from.

My culture is very different from here. Little bit about me so you can understand why i’m confused. I’ve been living in england for 8 years and i’m from indonesia. Me and dh have good career and have a good life here. In Indonesia we love big party. Big very grand party. When i was in indonesia i invited 200 guests for my son first birthday and in there it was normal.

So in 4 weeks i’m doing a birthday party for my son in softplay arena. Because i used to have big party so i just do what i usually do without thinking twice. Until one of my friend who is a school mum said i’m too much and people can be mistaken i try to show off. To be honest i dont even realise about it. I dont have any means to showing off.

I wanna ask what do you think about it. Do i look like i’m showing off??

1. I designed the birthday invitation and thank you card myself and print it out with proper card paper. Every invitation got different kids name on it.

1. I do a balloon gate, ballon arch for the decorations and also big theme backdrop on the birthday.

1. For the birthday bag fillers. I give personalised stickers, tattoo, book, bubble, playdoh, candies, chocolate, crisps. And also the bag itself personalised with my son initial on it.

Do you think i’m too much???. Also last week my son invited to his friend birthday party. I bought smiggle bag cost me £35 for present and my friend tell me i’m too much. To be honest i dont mind to spend that much. This is the same friend who tell me i’m too much. She keeps saying it all the time and makes me wonder am i too much??. I dont want people think i’m showing off especially the parents in school.

Thank you

It sounds brilliant op!

And I agree with every one who has said that the so called 'friend' has been very rude by saying this to you and is probably insecure.

@ANameChangeAgain

Oh believe me, people rolled their eyes at a 6yo being indulged on her Birthday, I doubt it. Which one are you, the inverted snob or the jealous type?

Well definitely not jealous, that's for sure. And yes, I would roll my eyes at a 6 year old being indulged in that way, just as I roll my eyes at lots of other things which as far as I know is my right to do privately and so long as I'm not rude. The whole princess thing definitely wouldn't be my scene and the horse and carriage is just vulgar and over the top in my opinion.

@sweetbutapshyco

And I agree with every one who has said that the so called 'friend' has been very rude by saying this to you and is probably insecure.

I seem to be the only one on this thread who hasn't piled on the friend to which all sorts of negative characteristics have been attributed on no evidence whatsover. She might indeed be a jealous cow or she may be a plain speaking woman who wants to guide her friend in navigating social and cultural norms. I've made friends over the years with a good few people who moved to Ireland and if asked, have offered my honest opinion on what's considered rude/not rude/acceptable etc. For their sake, not to make them feel bad. The classic one in Ireland is what people give as gifts for weddings, holy Communions etc. I have had a number of english who wondered had they blundered in the amount of money they had given and I had to be honest and say that yes, it would be considered 'tight' to go to a wedding and give a fifty euro gift (or even a hundred euro one).