To not think I should have to have in laws staying overnight?

[olderandwiserx]

Dh loves to have his parents visit to see our young children and so he can enjoy time with them. They live quite far away and it's a bit too far for a day visit. I've suggested meet ups half way and us going to stay at there's but it is tricky with kids and work. We do sometimes stay at there's overnight but we have a little one, 18 months, and I find it's just easier not to.

Aibu that I like the privacy of my home and I don't like to have to keep rearranging bedrooms, cleaning like a mad woman, meal planning, shopping and playing host?

I don't for a minute mean I don't want us to see them, I love seeing them, just not such frequent overnight visits. Am I the abnormal one here?

You daughters in law sound lovely, please could I come and stay? I’ll babysit, play with your children and clear up after myself.

The 5 times since summer included the OP going to the in-laws.

Maybe it seemed more to OP as they came twice in Dec then once this month, so 3 visits close together.

To be fair having read the ops third post, with no spare room that is challenging. Would they pay for you and dh to go to the local Premier Inn while they have the privilege of loving up to the gc. Honestly, that's worth thinking about.

YABVU to think it is unreasonable of them to want to stay for 1 or two nights once in July, twice in December(so 5 months later, and presumably including Christmas) and once in January.

YA also BU to do this: I don't like to have to keep rearranging bedrooms, cleaning like a mad woman, meal planning, shopping and playing host You've said in a later post that no-one expects this and you are only putting this pressure on yourself. That is the issue, not your in-laws.

If my hosts didn't have a spare room, I'd definitely prefer to sleep in a hotel, I can't stand pull-out sofas or camp beds. Although it sounds as if you give up your bed for them - I'd try offering to book a hotel room for them though. That's what we do now when we visit family, it's so much more comfortable. I've had too many sleepless nights on my IL's camp beds!

[quote GnomeDePlume]@olderandwiserx

We lived abroad when DCs were small. Roughly every 6 weeks DM or DPiL would come to us and stay for a week. 3 DCs and no guest bedroom.

We did a number of things to make this work.

• We designated one room as the visitor room so we always knew which DC would be moved plus DCs knew this. This meant the visit felt less of an upheaval.
• Good quality fold up bed plus designated guest bed linen and towels Made organisation easier.
• 2 drawers in a chest of drawers in the visitor room so that DM/DPiL could leave sundries (toiletries, travel clock, personal items) and not have to pack them each time.

This worked and made these visits easier to plan for and tidy up afterwards. As regular visitors they slipped into the routine. We would have a special meal when they arrived but other than that it would be business as usual.

I do understand how it can feel disruptive to have frequent visitors. Ease the disruption for yourselves by building a visitor routine. Remember that good enough really is good enough.[/quote]
This!!!

Give up cleaning like mad. Your husband just needs to hoover and clean the bathroom. Likewise, he doesn't need to stress about the meals, he can prepare batches in advance so they can have a nice stew, Bolognese or something with minimal fuss for him on the day.
There is absolutely no need for you to panic that your OH is overly-stressed, with planning, he will be fine with it!

I think you're being unreasonable. It's once a month ish, it's difficult for you all to travel, and it's lovely they want to see you.
BUT if I was you I'd make it very clear to your husband you're not running around doing everything and he can do his equal share in getting the house ready for them. Yanbu at all to be annoyed the load falls on you. If you're getting the house clean, he can be changing around rooms, getting the kids ready, sorting the pets with what they need etc.