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AIBU?

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Original poster

DB wants half his ex's house

255 replies

username103842 · 14/01/2022 16:38

DB was with his partner for the last 6 years. She has been very successful career wise and earns a high salary and had her own house before they met. Despite working himself (he earns about half what his ex does) he just moved in and did not pay a single bill in the whole 6 years. He did buy some furniture occasionally but other than that she paid for everything.

She split up with him a few month ago and he is now back at our parents house. He could rent his own place but it has dawned after all his bills he wouldn't have much left. He actually would have more than many I think he is so use to have his whole wage he has got a shock.

Anyway with encouragement of my parents he has decided he is going to see a solicitor to get half of her house Confused. I don't have a clue of the legalities and doubt he will get anywhere. I try not to get involved in it all but I'm getting daily phones calls from him and my parents about it. Which is driving me mad so I have stopped answering most of them.

I know this isn't actually any of my business so please don't start with them comments. I feel like I am forced to be involved when I actually want to say it's wrong. I suppose the only reason I am asking AIBU to think that way is when you thinking of other situations like when a cohabiting couple have children and the mother doesn't work/contribute financial to the house. I certainly wouldn't feel the same in that circumstance.

OP posts:
Isseywith3witchycats · 14/01/2022 16:42

I dont think he will get very far especially as he contributed nothing towards the house and they were not married

Woeismethischristmas · 14/01/2022 16:42

I’m assuming that they weren’t married? Given that he never contributed I can’t see that he’d be entitled to anything.

Fusillage · 14/01/2022 16:43

He won’t get anywhere in the basis of what you’ve said (and he’s an entitled arsehole, but you sound as if you know that).

ItsSnowJokes · 14/01/2022 16:44

A solicitor should laugh in his face, but many will see it as easy money from him and send a few letters (costing upwards of £200 a time) just to placate him.

It is unlikely he would get anything at all, and he just makes him look like a money grabbing, desperately selfish, sad man who no one would want to touch with a barge pole.

Shmithecat2 · 14/01/2022 16:44

Assuming they're in England or Wales, weren't married, and have no children, unless he can prove he made substantial contributions towards the house, then no, he hasn't got a cat in hells chance. Bloody grifter.

Sunbird24 · 14/01/2022 16:45

Hopefully the solicitor will set him straight and charge him for their time just for being an idiot

Coronado2 · 14/01/2022 16:45

I know you don't need to be told this, but I can't believe your parents think she should get anything from her! She supported him for 6 years and now she's broken up with him they still think she owes him?!

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 14/01/2022 16:46

If they brought it up again I'd tell them exactly what I thought about his plan.

HugeAckmansWife · 14/01/2022 16:46

On what possible basis does he think he would be entitled to anything? They weren't married, they have no kids that he is housing or looking after, she owned the house before he moved in and he is a functioning, earning adult. Honestly, I'm intrigued..what are his arguments?

Ponoka7 · 14/01/2022 16:47

I know someone who got a settlement of £5k. The house was worth £140k. They had been together for thirteen years. The house was bought by him during their relationship. At times she had been the only earner and had paid the bills. He won't get anywhere near half and will find that out quickly. Try to avoid and shut down because you will be hearing about this for a while. If your parents start up about the injustice, I'd be telling them straight.

FinallyHere · 14/01/2022 16:47

In England
Not married
Six year relationship
Not contributed to regular outgoings

His best best will be that she is spooked into paying him something just to get rid.

Hemingwayzcatz · 14/01/2022 16:47

He won’t get anywhere. MIL is trying to do this with her ex but she did pay some bills and bought a significant amount of furniture. I don’t think she’ll get anywhere with it and DH and I have told her she’s wasting her time.

It’s a very desperate thing to do, your parents are foolish to encourage it too. He needs to sort his life out and find his own place.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 14/01/2022 16:47

Oh they weren't even married?! He has zero chance anyway. How ridiculous.

PearPickingPorky · 14/01/2022 16:48

@Coronado2

I know you don't need to be told this, but I can't believe your parents think she should get anything from her! She supported him for 6 years and now she's broken up with him they still think she owes him?!
Maybe his parents think it's the only way to get his freeloading arse out of their house?
2bazookas · 14/01/2022 16:49

He'll soon give up his fantasy when the solicitor submits a bill for the time advice and work.

Original poster
username103842 · 14/01/2022 16:50

@Coronado2

I know you don't need to be told this, but I can't believe your parents think she should get anything from her! She supported him for 6 years and now she's broken up with him they still think she owes him?!
I agree my only possible theory is that my parents are worried he will never move out from their house now. So are encouraging it in order for him to get some money to move out with!
OP posts:
CatOfTheLand · 14/01/2022 16:50

He sounds abusive, toxic and stalkerish.

I hope she can get an injunction towards him.

It's a shame you can't warn her.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 14/01/2022 16:51

Lmfao he’s not getting a penny.

Scrounging arsehole.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/01/2022 16:51

You should say something. Your brother is reprehensible. Just another useless, cocklodging arsehole.

LittleOwl153 · 14/01/2022 16:52

Next phone call you get from your parents I would say simply that you doubt he'd be entitled to any of her house, and that even if he was it would be wrong to take something he did not contribute to from someone who supported him for 6 years.

I bet that would shut them all up for a while as they'd be "disgusted with your attitude towards your poor helpless brother" especially as any payout would potentially help get his wasteful ass out from under their table!

Youdoyoutoday · 14/01/2022 16:53

I'd be telling your parents and your DB that it will be a complete waste of time

What has he done with 6 years of wages that he now has no savings to fall back on?

Sally872 · 14/01/2022 16:53

Yanbu I would also be disappointed in him. I think if he contributed he may feel entitled to something but nothing like half the house. 3/25ths of the house max. But he didn't contribute.

Just move the subject on, he will figure out he is owed nothing soon enough.

Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 14/01/2022 16:54

Say nowt. Let him look a plonker.. Seems he needs taking down a peg or 2...

LaurieFairyCake · 14/01/2022 16:57

Yeah, I'd warn her Blush

LittleMissTake · 14/01/2022 16:57

Assuming:

a) the matter comes under English law
b) your DB was at no point in a marriage or civil partnership with his ex
c) the property is registered in your DB’s ex partner’s sole name
d) your DB made no substantial contribution to the cost of repairs or refurbishment to the home itself (contribution to a mortgage, bills, paying rent etc doesn’t count)
e) he has no clear evidence (written or oral) that his ex offered to share the beneficial interest in the house with him

then he is unlikely to be entitled to anything at all.

Sadly in my experience there are however some solicitors who would be prepared to take his case on and waste his money on an apparently hopeless case.