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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DB wants half his ex's house

255 replies

username103842 · 14/01/2022 16:38

DB was with his partner for the last 6 years. She has been very successful career wise and earns a high salary and had her own house before they met. Despite working himself (he earns about half what his ex does) he just moved in and did not pay a single bill in the whole 6 years. He did buy some furniture occasionally but other than that she paid for everything.

She split up with him a few month ago and he is now back at our parents house. He could rent his own place but it has dawned after all his bills he wouldn't have much left. He actually would have more than many I think he is so use to have his whole wage he has got a shock.

Anyway with encouragement of my parents he has decided he is going to see a solicitor to get half of her house Confused. I don't have a clue of the legalities and doubt he will get anywhere. I try not to get involved in it all but I'm getting daily phones calls from him and my parents about it. Which is driving me mad so I have stopped answering most of them.

I know this isn't actually any of my business so please don't start with them comments. I feel like I am forced to be involved when I actually want to say it's wrong. I suppose the only reason I am asking AIBU to think that way is when you thinking of other situations like when a cohabiting couple have children and the mother doesn't work/contribute financial to the house. I certainly wouldn't feel the same in that circumstance.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoing · 14/01/2022 17:19

So he's sponged off her for years and rarely paid a bean? And also at the same time not saved anything either.

Having worked with solicitors before, most decent high street ones wouldn't take his money if he wasn't married or named on the title deeds or children involved. He'll have to start from scratch and rent and I suggest you get your DPs to get him to stand on his own two feet.

HollowTalk · 14/01/2022 17:20

I'd be in touch with her to tell her not to let go of a penny!

Dixiechickonhols · 14/01/2022 17:22

He’s deluded. Obviously he can pay for legal advice. There is a possibility to try and claim a beneficial interest but it’s expensive to do and needs a lot of evidence eg contributions to mortgage. It wouldn’t apply here. Legally he was akin to a lodger and now he’s moved out he is owed nothing.
Unmarried women living with a boyfriend are in same position if house is in his name. If they want protection in event of split then a mechanism exists - marriage. Or work and jointly own house.

MilduraS · 14/01/2022 17:22

He's going to have no money left to move out if he pursues it. Those claims are notoriously difficult and expensive. When I worked in litigation we farmed them out to another office that had the only litigation solicitor willing to take them on. Hopefully he'll pay for an hour long meeting and be sent on his way if he hasn't even contributed to bills.

Drinkingallthewine · 14/01/2022 17:23

@LaurieFairyCake

Yeah, I'd warn her Blush
Me too.
thenewduchessoflapland · 14/01/2022 17:24

Shame on your brother for even think of doing this and shame on your parents for encouraging this.

Your brother sounds lazy and entitled.

Well done to you for recognising he's an arse and your parents are enabling him.

Is he the youngest by any chance?

Skeumorph · 14/01/2022 17:25

@iloverock

He won't be entitled to anything at all if the house is in her sole name and they are not married. Even if he did renovation work he has to prove there was an agreement between them that he would share the beneficial interest.

I know because I was her and the ex took me to court. All the way to final hearing and he lost. He now owes me £70k!

Hahaha OP if I were you I would 'innocently' recount this tale to your parents/bro.

'Actually I know of someone else who contributed nothing, did the same and got landed with a 70k bill of his own to pay back to her so maybe be careful'

How did that happen @iloverock?!

Cryingbutstilltrying · 14/01/2022 17:26

As has been said already, not a bean will be headed his way and he could well end up footing a hefty solicitors bill too, if he insists on pursuing it.
A family member of mine split with her husband, child stayed with her and he wasn’t interested in seeing them, but he somehow engaged a solicitor to go after half the property.
That the wife’s dad owned and had allowed them to live in rent free, as long as bills were paid.
Oh how we all chuckled at that one. Talk about thick. And now in debt too.

Skeumorph · 14/01/2022 17:26

Oh and to add, your brother is a total skidmark!

Well done her for kicking out the cocklodger. Yes, I'd warn her - and tell her she should post on here to be told he hasn't got a chance!

Drinkingallthewine · 14/01/2022 17:27

I agree my only possible theory is that my parents are worried he will never move out from their house now.

They deserve all they get because they are enabling and encouraging his cuntish behaviour.

StEval · 14/01/2022 17:27

OP why are they calling you about it on a daily basis? Do they expect you to actually do anything or just join in the delusional claptrap

Hmmm I wonder if they are involving Op so that she is then expected to house the DB when he gets nowhere with his plan?
Dont get involved Op.
Grey rock, avoid calls and close down any discussions.

GreetingsAndSalutations · 14/01/2022 17:28

Fucking hell. Good on her for getting shot of this cheeky fucking cocklodger when she did. He’s paid no bills for 6 years so god only knows what he’s spent his money on all this if he’s not got anything saved at all.

Hopefully the ex is a strong person who doesn’t give into pressure from anyone.

Lubeyboobyalt · 14/01/2022 17:29

He won't get anywhere near half - I was in a similar situation with my ex and the settlement was 5k, only then because of contribution to diy and decor

iloverock · 14/01/2022 17:29

@Skeumorph because the ex is a knob with a very big ego who thought he could wear me down.

There were 2 other properties involved that were in joint names that he tried to say I wasn't entitled to.

I took him to court and it went to final hearing.

The court ruled he was a liar and my house was mine and the jointly owned properties were jointly owned. He was ordered to pay all my costs.

It took 3 years of court. He also tried to appeal that decision and lost. I reckon he spent £60k in his own legal fees.

By the way. He had done loads of work on my house and I had offered him £40 k but that wasn't enough apparently so I thought fuck it. The judge can decide.

Foolsrule · 14/01/2022 17:30

Time to explain the term cocklodger to Mum and Dad.

DarkDarkNight · 14/01/2022 17:30

Well he’s going to have a rude awakening. At least he’s had free rent for the last 6 years, has he been saving while he hasn’t been paying rent?

AndItDoesntSeemToMatter · 14/01/2022 17:32

He's a fucking loser and your parents are a disgrace as well

RB68 · 14/01/2022 17:33

Frankly he has been a cock lodger for 6 yrs and has clearly lied to your parents about his contributions as otherwise they would be telling to get off his fat arse and earn his own way. What a cheeky fucker

Aprilx · 14/01/2022 17:33

@Username20222022

I feel sorry for her. Imagine getting solicitors letters demanding you give this little shit half your house. When he stayed for free living there and didn't save a penny. I hope she just throws it in the bin.

Dud scrounger pay council tax while he lived there?

Don’t feel sorry for her. She probably has her head screwed on and will find it amusing, she can have a laugh with her friends about his stupidity.
Maskless · 14/01/2022 17:36

If you haven't, you should tell him exactly what you think of this ridiculous notion of his!

Georgeskitchen · 14/01/2022 17:37

I wouldn't put any bets on him not being able to claim anything. Pretty sure if he lived there above 2 years he could possibly be entitled to something

anon12345678901 · 14/01/2022 17:37

What a pitiful excuse for a man he is.

Suzi888 · 14/01/2022 17:38

@Foolsrule

Time to explain the term cocklodger to Mum and Dad.
That’s probably why the parents encourage it, get him out of their hair. What’s any of this got to do with you? As in why are your parents talking to you about it. I wouldn’t get involved, in any of it!
ChargingBuck · 14/01/2022 17:40

I'm sorry that your DB is a cocklodger OP. Also that your greedy, shameless parents are enabling him.

He lived rent & bill free for SIX YEARS & now he wants to chisel even more out of his ex?

Unless there are undeclared children or a marriage cert you don't know about, he's got no chance. Still, I hope the solicitor costs him a shitload of money ...

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 14/01/2022 17:41

I wonder if the ex was on here and got advice to ditch the cocklodger? 😁. He is, btw, as you know.