Why are some parents so selfish !!!

HNY2022mam · 13/01/2022 08:08

Because we live in a very self centred world now and people do not grow up in extended families like they did in the past and had support/experience of young children all their lives, that’s my take on it.

girlmom21 · 13/01/2022 08:08

I've never experienced this personally but if people do this it's bloody horrible.

DrManhattan · 13/01/2022 08:16

Yes I've heard this. I try and change the subject if someone is moaning about their kids in front of their kids. It's awful and thoughtless.

sweetcheekweak · 13/01/2022 08:22

Depends on context

I have a feeling you're one of those people who thinks all babies are cute and children aren't dicks sometimes

shouldistop · 13/01/2022 08:25

Some people are selfish, some of them happen to be parents.

Samanabanana · 13/01/2022 08:36

Kids can be massive dicks but it's still not ok to moan about them in front of them.

Elodeastar · 13/01/2022 08:39

Perspective is needed here - I think all parents need to be able to vent, because parenting is hard work, though there are ways to do that, of course.

Emerald5hamrock · 13/01/2022 08:40

Meh my DM regularly described us as terrors and had a good moan, didn't hurt us, we knew she loved us with every piece of her even if we did regularly drive her around the bend.
Parents are human you're only seeing a snippet.

aSofaNearYou · 13/01/2022 08:42

@sweetcheekweak

Depends on context

I have a feeling you're one of those people who thinks all babies are cute and children aren't dicks sometimes

This

PurpleDaisies · 13/01/2022 08:43

I think some examples might be helpful here. I’ve never seen anyone do anything like this.

WheelieBinPrincess · 13/01/2022 08:43

I called my baby a bloody tyrant at baby class yesterday.

He is, he doesn’t sleep, I’m bloody shattered.

I’m not too bothered about what some of the mums think if that to be honest, they have babies that sleep.

phoenixrosehere · 13/01/2022 08:47

Because we live in a very self centred world now and people do not grow up in extended families like they did in the past and had support/experience of young children all their lives, that’s my take on it.

It’s not a new thing. I have heard parents doing this for decades. Some of you either were lucky not to experience this or have some rose-coloured glasses on about the past.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 13/01/2022 08:53

YANBU

I have a relative who is constantly complaining about her 4 children. I have literally (in the the true, old fashioned sense of the word) never heard her say something positive about her kids.

I feel so sorry for them.

BoredZelda · 13/01/2022 08:55

I think some examples might be helpful here. I’ve never seen anyone do anything like this.

Same.

KittyKattyFosterMummy · 13/01/2022 09:03

Can you give examples as context is everything! I don't know any normal parent who hasn't, at some point, had a conversation with someone else, in the presence of their child, about something they have done done that is "inconvenient".

noirchatsdeux · 13/01/2022 09:06

I don't think it's a modern thing...my mother used to do the same, and I'm 53. She also thought nothing of calling us 'mistakes' and was genuinely confused when a friend of hers called her out for saying it in front of me.

In her case it was because she should never have had children in the first place.

Bintymcbintface · 13/01/2022 09:11

In a supermarket last night there was an awful woman stomping around the place with a teeny little boy in tow, he'd misplaced a lego set somewhere and she kept shouting at another woman (that I assume was her own mum) "he's fucking lost it he's a retard" I felt so bad for the little guy he can't have been any older than 4, stuck listening to his mum calling him names for misplacing a toy they'd got in the place

echt · 13/01/2022 09:13

@YogaRebel

Is it just me or do some parents constantly moan about how inconvenient their children are ? In front of them too. Triggers me.

What are you on about?

YABU for using "triggers": utter wank when used outside a specific and defined mental health condition.

womaninatightspot · 13/01/2022 09:13

I moan about my children sometimes, mostly to them, often when I have to go "help" them tidy their bedrooms as shoving everything under your bed and then wondering why you have no clean pyjamas is not a tidy bedroom.

Often parents are moaning about children at school pick up but it's not massively negative. More frustration at their darlings inability to keep hold of water bottle/bookbag/ coat/school fleece or that they are wearing indoor shoes which are now covered in mud.

I think it's good to let it out.

RealBecca · 13/01/2022 09:14

Context.

How often do those parents get to interact with another adult/friend away from their kids?

Are they otherwise cherished beyond belief?

Theres a huge difference between saying your child is driving you round the bend, took forever getting shoes on resulting in lateness and stress compared to saying Tommy is being a nasty little shit today, like every other day.

blameitonthecaffeine · 13/01/2022 09:15

I don't think it's common. But yes, there will always be some.

My cousin is a boarding tutor in a boarding prep school. The worst examples I've heard have come from her:
11 year old, only child, parents moved abroad. Parents asked the school to keep him over half term. School said they don't do that. Another child invited the child to go away with them. When phoned, parents said 'Great, that's that problem sorted.'

Another 11 year old. Parents brought them to school for the first time, unpacked their stuff with then told them they were getting divorced, didn't want to discuss it, would see the child in 3 weeks time and left.

AsYouWishButtercup · 13/01/2022 09:15

See I’m the opposite, I think it’s ok to say parenting is hard, boring and shit, and I think it should be ok to talk about it. It never did anyone any good being a Mary Poppins “I love meningitis a mum so much” tripe where people (women) hold it in and say nothing. Especially in the early days when risk of PND is so high and we are still in a world where depression is shameful for many. Let’s encourage more honest conversations - we don’t stop being human just because we’ve had children.

Triggers me

Other people not loving parenting triggers you? Well maybe that’s your problem not theirs

Cocomarine · 13/01/2022 09:17

It “triggers” my irritation when posters make half a post.

KatherineJaneway · 13/01/2022 09:17

It would be helpful if you could give some examples?

WheelieBinPrincess · 13/01/2022 09:17

I’d like to know in what way it ‘triggers’ you OP.