Well, I always felt a bit inadequate but reading this I must be the worst mother in the world. Of course some parents are rubbish and make their children feel awful. I don't think anyone would say that calling your child "a little shit" is okay. But sometimes background and context are literally everything.
I never wanted children because I don't like children but when my daughter arrived I loved her with all my heart. She knows these facts because it came up in conversation and I told her the truth.
I was brought up in the 70's, kids were seen and not heard. Parents (as a rule) neither played with their children nor helped with homework. I really struggle with both because I have no imagination and I'm a bit dense, she is pretty bright and by aged about 8, most of her homework was beyond my ability. I can and do play Scrabble with her and other games, but getting down and pretending to play is something I just can't do. Her dad though does both, because he is clever and has a good imagination. She knows this and doesn't think she's an inconvenience because I say "wait until your dad comes home because he'll play cushion forts with you!"
She goes to boarding school and when covid hit they closed the school at very short (2 days) notice. We were overseas and couldn't leave. So until we managed to sort something out, a friend of my daughter's mum offered to take her, which solved the problem! I was grateful and relieved. My daughter knew it was a problem that needed solving, not that SHE was the problem, or an inconvenience! So in the example from a PP, context is everything!
My daughter is dyspraxic and VERY clingy, even as a teenager she needs to be right by my side, often touching me, she needs to know what she is doing every hour of every day and asks multiple times. Combined with my difficulty with playing, I will be totally honest and admit that I am very relieved when the holidays are over. So is she, I'm boring, she tells me! She wants to get back to her friends and chat late into the night in dorms and go on trips on weekends with her friends. Much better option than going well, pretty much anywhere, with mum & dad!
But, despite all that, my daughter knows she is loved, she knows I am far from perfect, that sometimes I lose my temper and say something which I then apologise for. But that also means she will never have that disappointment that most kids go through at some age when they realise that parents aren't infallible. She knows I am human, the value of a real apology and knows that sometimes people say things they don't really mean.
She is well balanced, well adjusted and we have a happy and loving relationship but I'm sure I would be harshly judged by some looking in from the outside.