Why are some parents so selfish !!!

[YogaRebel]

Is it just me or do some parents constantly moan about how inconvenient their children are ? In front of them too. Triggers me.

@HappyDays40

He won’t break me

He is a bloody tyrant though. He’s also chubby and ginger and when he’s sitting up in his buggy he looks like Henry VIII. So calling him a tyrant is absolutely bang on.

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@HappyDays40

He won’t break me

He is a bloody tyrant though. He’s also chubby and ginger and when he’s sitting up in his buggy he looks like Henry VIII. So calling him a tyrant is absolutely bang on.[/quote]

My son used look like Putin as young toddler with very little hair, running around within top on

• with no top on

Putin 😂

@Potatopotate

Hmm. From those examples it could be that those parents do loads of stuff with their kids (maybe without much kid free time, hence speaking in there presence) and genuinely do need a few hours' break on holiday. It's hard to know the tone by reading, and without knowing these parents more generally. But not that unreasonable for one person to dislike kids books, another to want some kid free time on holiday etc. Not convenient feelings perhaps but few feelings are!

I’m (one of?) the poster who brought up disliking reading the same books. The issue I have is that dc has SN (is 19 now), and has had firm favourites for years. They’re not changing anytime soon. And I know how boring it can be reading the same books over and over - I’ve done it far more than exH has! - but the fact is, there is very little else that will do. Reading the Gruffalo every day for the last 16 years was not what I was expecting when I decided to have children (along with Mog, and bloody Topsy and Tim), but it is what it is. Dc loves those books, and wants her dad to read them when she sees him. He can’t be bothered, as he is ‘bored’. She gets upset, as she genuinely cannot understand why anyone would tell her that her favourite things in the world are boring (and let’s face it, it’s hardly stellar parenting with an NT toddler, but when said to a young adult with special needs, then I think it is particularly cruel). It’s sadly not just the books - he doesn’t like watching Something Special, or Get Well Soon, as he’s seen them so often (along with the rest of the family!), and has told her he’d rather be doing something else (which, actually, if he ever bloody did, she would probably happily give it a go, but what he actually means is he’d rather she occupied herself so he can get on with more interesting things to do) - again leading to huge upset.

It’s not nice, and it has lead to massive confidence and self esteem issues with the all the dc.

Toddlers ARE difficult it's their way of trying to become independent. Rather than screaming at them to put on their shoes or eat their breakfast or whatever (when they're in another world ,which is completely normal toddler behaviour)
.

It's simpler and less stressful to give yourself more time in the morning and make a game of it eg. putting shoes on the teddy. Talk about Goldilocks eating her porridge). I know it's not an ideal world but just respecting your children works really well.

@ppeatfruit that’s lovely but you can’t be arsing about putting shoes on a Teddy every day or pretend to be bloody Goldilocks at 6am of a morning where you just need to get somewhere. Indulging certain behaviours every time will is not always a good long term solution.

Yup, here it'd be shoes on the teddy on Monday. Then teddy and dolly on Tuesday. Then add uppsydaisy on Wednesday. Then on Thursday whhhyyyyy doesn't teddy have shoes that properly fit, whyyyyyy. And on Friday a complete meltdown that teddy got to have his shoes on first when SHEEEEE wanted to be first.

Whereas firm instructions that it was shoes now won't escalate and will eventually get the message across.

Honestly it’s usually people that don’t have kids that spout held ‘just make it into a fun game!’ stuff.

You cannot be doing that every day!

A parent I started to nanny for ‘had to’ pretend to be a car mechanic doing an F1 pit stop to get her 4 year old to get in the bath, wash, brush teeth and put pjs on. She was frazzled with it and the meltdown that ensued if she didn’t do or didn’t do it ‘properly’. She advised that I take over this duty when I started the job or he ‘wouldn’t’ do bath/bed.

Just no! God love them but children can be little dictators if you’re not careful

Some fun games are fine, some are a nightmare. I had one DC who always used to respond to the - let's time how quickly you can get dressed etc.

Not really, I know/knew loads of parents that do the fun game thing to get shoes on and respectfully, parents maybe like to have fun with their offspring. As a Nanny you are carrying out work according to a job description and it is morelikelt to feel like a chore like any job really, there are bits that are annoying and parts that are very fulfilling.

@Goldenbear wow thanks for the job description 😂

The parent definitely was not having fun. You don’t, as a professional nanny, tend to have to adopt all the parents methods but often are there to implement your own- to make their lives, and the children’s, easier.

I have a friend who literally ditches her children with her parents any chance she can. It really annoys me. Why bother having kids?!

SlyAvocado, I think you have misunderstood my point, parents are going to do certain things to make their children happy even if they find it tedious as they love their child and are mostly more inclined to put themselves out for the child. A Nanny does not have the guilt or motivation as the child is not theirs, even if they like them very much, they are guided by different motivations. As you say, you suggest new methods etc. to help bring them up as objectively this may be a better way of doing things but that is through the eyes of somebody who can be more objective and less emotional about looking after the dc.

@Goldenbear apologies- you’re right- I was reading in a rush. You’re absolutely spot on!

If anything I hear the opposite - people banging on and on about how wonderful/talented/beautiful their dc's are. Usually from parents who's children are nothing of the kind.

But how can anyone resent that. Surely it is better than the alternative?

Funny someone mentioned a nanny I was one and a CM and M of 3 of our own, oh also an EY teacher.

Children are not monsters, I reckon, from experience, that if they're approached in a kind (not soppy) way they'll do what is required is long as it's age appropriate. I did say you have to get up early esp with a baby it's tricky to get ready to go out. But it is possible if you react calmly, give the older child something to do or get her help to dress the baby . It is possible without calling them names , that just ends in tears.

Oh and if you have 3 children then to be SEEN to treat them ALL fairly (including the youngest where it's possible). Works like a dream.