What age is too old for a first baby, in your opinion?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Obviously, there's a wealth of information out there in terms of studies and research. Everyone knows fertility does decline with age, and that risks of things like miscarriage increase.

But women are also having first babies later and later. I'm 37, and because of health issues, have never been in the place to be able to ttc. I don't know if it's just part of the grieving process or not, but I'm not quite ready to fully let go of the idea of a child of my own - I can't accept that it would, realistically, be too late to start trying even if my doctors did miraculously give me the go ahead next year.

Posting in AIBU as people are frank and honest here, without much sugar coating! What do you privately feel is probably too late for a first baby?

I think after 45

@Carriemac

I think after 45

Was going to say the same

It's personal choice. I think there are different benefits to different ages. For some reason I have 42 as the cut off in my head, so that they'd be finished school by the time I was 60. But I wouldn't judge anyone who had their first older.

Ten rounds of IVF in, I know it's not always a choice!

Well the first of 6 babies would be a lower age than the first and only baby.

Tbh probably 40 at a very push 45 I just think how knackered I would be at that age trying to run around after toddlers

I was in your position at your age. I persevered and had a baby at 43. I feel it's hard but I don't think that for me this is down to age, more to the fact that I am trying to manage an established full-on professional job with a life as a mother of a VERY lively toddler!
I am enjoying every minute of it, no regrets.

I was 38 just after my twins came, two friends had their babies between that age and 40 and one will be having her second after she turns 40. I don't know your circs obv, if in a relationship or not, able to go alone etc but I'd say you've got another 5 years, max 8

Another saying 45, due to risk factors and how unbelievably knackering it would be to be getting up at 5am with a preschooler at age 50.

Personally, it was 40. This is partly due to nobody in my family ever making it past 70 and also wanting our parents to meet them (ours were both in their 30s when they had us). It depends though. We knew we only wanted one and DH has had a vasectomy at 36.

Personally, 40 was the limit.

For me personally 38 is my cut off. (I’m 30 now so that opinion might change! I’d just definitely like to be done by then).

But it’s so personal - generally I’d say up to 45.

40

42 upwards.I says that as a 42 year old.

40

I think even 40 is pushing it tbh. You're going to be 51 by the time they leave primary school and the teenage years can be hard (but in a different way to when they're babies)

It's obviously personal but I had my last at 32 and that has suited me very well - I'm glad I didn't have more after that as by the time the youngest is 12, the middle one will be 18 and il be able to leave them if dh and I want to go away for the weekend etc. I'm looking forward to having some freedom in my mid-forties!

Personally? 36 at the very latest, but I wouldn't want to be pregnant after that age so maybe a bit earlier for a first?

48ish

A woman without kids in her early 40s is probably a lot less knackered than one who's been a parent for 10+ years and therefore in a better position to have a first baby. That said, I'm not sure I'd want to be parenting a teenager at 60.

I was 42 when I had my last child...

I think as long as you have a viable pregnancy any age is appropriate especially if it's your first.

There are so many tests you can do now very early on, to predict these things.

Go for it I'd say

I'd be hesitant to try after 42 unless you are prepared for the possibility of repeat miscarriage.

And there are so many of us older mums at school it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

It depends if first baby is first and you're happy with it being only. Or if you want 8..

Over 45 is a bit too late in my opinion.

Individual choice surely?

Are you talking about women or fathers too?

We have this thread fairly regularly .

Personally I think too old is when you’ve been through menopause and can no longer naturally get pregnant.

Tbh probably 40 at a very push 45 I just think how knackered I would be at that age trying to run around after toddlers

If you keep fit and heathy there’s absolutely no reason you’d be any more knackered. I’m 50, work shifts, lift weights, run, and have way more energy than many of my younger colleagues who don’t exercise and spend their evenings drinking wine.

Everyone seem to assume older=tireder, but I disagree.

After a woman menopause.

For my own sake I would not want to conceive after about 35 as I would like to still be young ish once the kids are independent. DH is even more extreme than me and put the deadline on conception at 32!

From a health perspective I consider anything beyond 42 to have left it a bit late in terms of likelihood of conceiving a healthy pregnancy, though I do not judge people who try beyond these ages. I don't think there is "morally" a maximum age as long as you are reasonably healthy and have no good reason to suspect you might not be in 20 years or so.

I don't think it matters whether it's a first, second, or whatever child.