What age is too old for a first baby, in your opinion?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Obviously, there's a wealth of information out there in terms of studies and research. Everyone knows fertility does decline with age, and that risks of things like miscarriage increase.

But women are also having first babies later and later. I'm 37, and because of health issues, have never been in the place to be able to ttc. I don't know if it's just part of the grieving process or not, but I'm not quite ready to fully let go of the idea of a child of my own - I can't accept that it would, realistically, be too late to start trying even if my doctors did miraculously give me the go ahead next year.

Posting in AIBU as people are frank and honest here, without much sugar coating! What do you privately feel is probably too late for a first baby?

Will turn 42 in a few weeks and I do not feel as though id like to try and get pregnant and have a baby now. Youngest will be 8 soon. I always thought my cut off would be 40 had I wanted more.

I don't care what anyone else does but my personal cut off point would be 36 I think (and who knows I might be too old by then anyway).

40 but i still think that is pushing it

I’m nearly 45 and I think it’s only really the last year that I feel like I really am too old. Not speaking for anyone else, but as 50 looms closer, I personally feel like I’m entering a different stage of my life. I didn’t feel that way in my early 40s.

I had my children in my late 20s/early 30s, though, so it’s a very different situation than trying to have a much longed for first/only child.

I have friends who had fertility issues who had babies in their 40s and I was thrilled for them. We all have our own journeys.

40 ideally. Everyone talks about how tough it would be with a 5 yr old aged 50 but I think more about the child. I am 33 and have cared for a dying parent who went too soon. My father never knew my DD, he died 2 yrs too early. I don’t think it’s fair on the child to have to deal with caring for elderly parents so early.

I think 40-45 My husband's father was 50 when my hub was born. My husband was 28 when he lost his dad at the age of 78. He never knew his grandchildren. Really sad!!!

43

46/50 I would say. i know a few 45 year olds who had their first baby. i was 40 when i had my surviving child, i would try for another if i was healthy i am nearly 42 now but i am not so wont. It is a very personal choice.

My dd had hers at 38, 39, and nearly 43, all conceived naturally - she’s well aware that she was lucky, though.
Many of her friends had their first at similar ages. One had her 2nd at 45.

49

Well I was two weeks off 45 when I had number 4 - i did do all the extra checks due to age.

I wouldnt like to give an opinion on an age as a first time mum could be 45 who has been trying for years. Who am i to judge

40, I can't think of still doing primary school drop offs at 50

40

38

Probably 42 because that means you'll be 60 when the kid turns 18.

But I met my husband when I was 24 and had my first when I was 29, then the second and last when I was 32. If I had met him when I was 34, I might feel differently.

40 was my cut off. I'm currently pregnant and will be 37 when he's born

I think I’d be surprised at 48.
I’ve never thought a woman too old to have a baby really though. When I read stories of older mums, I always think good for them. Older dads (as in, in their 70s) whom have multiple kids, always give me the heeby jeebies though.

40ish
I wanted to be done by 30, having had my first at 20, but TTC doesn't always go to plan.

I would say 40-45. I had my last son at 39 and wouldn't have had him much later than that as I think I may be too tired 😂.

39 would have been the limit for me, being someone who conceived through fertility treatment. I didn't want to be turning 40 still going through it or TTC. The way it turned out I was early 30's. Also bearing in mind grandparents, I wanted them to know their grandchildren; my parents were also in their 30's when they had me, and now 2 of our parents/in law are no longer around so not enough time.

@user1471523870

I was in your position at your age. I persevered and had a baby at 43. I feel it's hard but I don't think that for me this is down to age, more to the fact that I am trying to manage an established full-on professional job with a life as a mother of a VERY lively toddler! I am enjoying every minute of it, no regrets.

I love this ❤️

Listen to this OP!

For me 40 for last child because my OH is nearly 9 years older so factoring that in too plus increased risk of them being orphaned young (albeit accept people can die at any time, clearly it's more risky when older).

However, for other people I would probably say 45 - when 70 child would be 25 and hopefully self sufficient even if they studied etc. I know plenty of super fit 70 year olds kept young, in my view, through older parenting and continuing at work/to exercise. However I think once you're heading toward 80 theres a risk of needing care and I feel 25 is a young age to be doing that if, say, your parents had you much beyond 45.

After the menopause.

For me my cut off was 30 to be done with child bearing, but that's because there's a history of early menopause in my family.

DH's gran was 46 when she had her last (13th) child. She had a very tough life.

I had my first at almost 43 and my second at almost 47. Not my choice but that is how it happened. I am now almost 58 with a 15 year old and a 11 year old, and it has been absolutely fine. I haven't and don't feel too old for any of it. As a PP said, being older, I was also much more established work-wise (own business and able to work very flexible hours). Main drawback is that we still have two children to hopefully put through university/college so early retirement is out.

I wouldn't purposefully wait until your 40s and a lot depends on your own health and circumstances, but I wouldn't rule it out either.

@AbsentmindedWoman

Obviously, there's a wealth of information out there in terms of studies and research. Everyone knows fertility does decline with age, and that risks of things like miscarriage increase.

But women are also having first babies later and later. I'm 37, and because of health issues, have never been in the place to be able to ttc. I don't know if it's just part of the grieving process or not, but I'm not quite ready to fully let go of the idea of a child of my own - I can't accept that it would, realistically, be too late to start trying even if my doctors did miraculously give me the go ahead next year.

Posting in AIBU as people are frank and honest here, without much sugar coating! What do you privately feel is probably too late for a first baby?

Pregnancy is hard whatever age you are , but it gets harder and harder the older you get and there are inevitably more risks to you and the baby. Realistically Op are your health issues more of a concern than your age.