What age is too old for a first baby, in your opinion?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Obviously, there's a wealth of information out there in terms of studies and research. Everyone knows fertility does decline with age, and that risks of things like miscarriage increase.

But women are also having first babies later and later. I'm 37, and because of health issues, have never been in the place to be able to ttc. I don't know if it's just part of the grieving process or not, but I'm not quite ready to fully let go of the idea of a child of my own - I can't accept that it would, realistically, be too late to start trying even if my doctors did miraculously give me the go ahead next year.

Posting in AIBU as people are frank and honest here, without much sugar coating! What do you privately feel is probably too late for a first baby?

@IDKAYBIF32 - isn’t that marvellous? Think I shall aim for 92 when my daughter would be 50!

I don’t believe that any age within a woman’s natural ability to conceive is ‘too old’. However, if you really want to have a baby then you had better start thinking about preparing for it now fertility wise. For example, for a woman aged 40 there’s a 7% chance of conceiving over a 3 month period.

I didn't want to have my first baby any later than 28/29. I'm now 27 with one baby and want my 2nd before I turn 30. But everyone has different priorities. I'm not massively bothered about a career, family is more important to me. But if I wanted a good career I would of waited longer and had my children later.

35

Hi OP. I'm 37, nearly 38. I've been trying to conceive my first baby for 18 months now. Looking back I suppose I thought I'd have my first at around 30, but things didn't work out that way. I think if it's something you really want, you can't really put a time limit on it - you keep going until either it happens or your body definitively tells you it's not going to. That's how I feel anyway.

I think it depends really. For some people 38 is too old, for others 45 is fine. Health and lifestyle matter.

I'm 42. It'd be much easier to be parents to a baby now than when we did it in our 20s. We're wiser, better at communicating, know what we want. And above all we're richer. Could take time away from careers. Pay for things that make family life easier.

Not significantly weaker or physically aged, just a bit weary from having tried to rush around working and having children and not looking after ourselves.

I'm contented that we did have them young for lots of other reasons, not least because I can't bear the thought of not having these particular children.

But plenty of friends are still having babies now and I can't see the slightest reason to decide it's too late to try, whenever you want to try. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't. But if it does, then it wasn't too late.

always said I couldn't be changing nappies in my 40s

Whereas I didn't want the responsibility of children in my 20s and early 30s but was quite happy to do it in my 40s.