To hate villages?

[AllThePogs]

The gossiping, nosiness, judgement of others - it is all there. And if you don't fit in, then beware.
I say this from experience. A beautiful looking village in East Sussex that some people will see as the dream. Instead, all I experienced was extreme gossip, racism and narrow-mindedness.

I love my old village, but I guess when I go back there I am a 'local' so it's different.
Having said that, DH and DC aren't white and everyone is welcoming to them when they visit too.

Each to their own I guess, but for me, the insular, comfortable, judgemental nature of many villages I have experienced is the reason I have chosen not to live in one.

YABU to hate villages IMO. I find cities souless and hate them, I never even knew my next door neighbour when I lived in London (in a few different places). In my village I not only know next door but everyone in my street and the next one by name. I find they can be very parochial though which is frustrating.......it's sounds like your problems may unfortunately be down to racism OP. I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience but (I hope) not every village would be the same.

Some people don’t like others who are different from them. It’s not unique to villages .

It's similar situation to most areas, that people tend to discuss people rather than more intriguing topics at times.

Most cities are diverse, most villages are not.

My village is very diverse.
People from all corners of the world and all walks of life.
Everyone’s experiences are different. I quite like the fact that people know me here. If they are judging then I don’t know about it and anyway, I’m confident in my life choices so they can judge away!!

I holiday in a seaside village that may as well be Ambridge. I love it but wouldn't want to live there. However I live in another village and it's not like that. There is no school - maybe that helps?

YABU. People in cities are the same species as village dwellers, but they have more 'birds of a feather' to flock together with. In cities most people just hang out with people like themselves and ignore everyone else

I'd hate to live in a village overall. The greater access to open space might be nice but expensive housing, being viewed as an outsider, petty squabbles over parking/wind chimes/what colour your fence is and no facilities for miles makes it a firm no from me. I can walk to my workplace, DC school and the town centre/supermarket within 20 minutes at the moment.

YABU. During covid ours really pulled together, helped each other out

There are lots of activities, and we are very welcoming

You get nosey behaviour, and gossiping ams judgement from people anywhere, including towns and cities

Normally crime rates are much lower, you won’t get me living in cities are large towns for that reason alone, never mind the fact they are unwelcoming

Love our north west village.
Not like you describe at all

I lived in London for 13 years.i hardly knew anyone, didnt make any great friends. It felt lonely and soulless and focussed around work.

I now live in a little gossipy village where everyone knows everyone. I have great friends and feel welcome and part of the community. Everyone rallied to support neighbours in lock down.

I love it.

Yes that's probably there but so are friendships, rural beauty and people knowing your name. And power cuts and roads the width of cotton thread and intermittent flooding. And good pubs and village schools that won't be quite so competitive.

You're entitled to your views and preferences, though to generalise from one experience that you "hate" all villages doesn't seem entirely reasonable. I love the village where I live. It seems very open to me. But I think it makes a difference that very few people have always lived there. Most move in (or sometimes back) after having worked elsewhere then had children and begun looking for more space/community.

In ten years in London I was always on chatting terms with my neighbours.
Love living in walking distance of shops and has massive parks.

My village is full of nosy people and older families who don't like new people. But they don't do any harm, we're pretty diverse for such a small area (I'm black and disabled and don't feel stared at or unsafe). There are some really shit people in some lovely villages that ruin it.

I love villages because they are in the countryside. I can't bear to be hemmed in, in a town or city. The noise, traffic, pollution, too many people and houses on every side? You can keep it.

I live on the edge of a village, in the back of beyond. There are trees, fields and pretty lanes, very few people at all. There will always be gossips everywhere but I just don't engage with them. I smile and greet everyone in a friendly way, whether I know them or not, assuming that they'll certainly know who I am since there are so few of us.

They're mostly farming families here and welcoming in their own quiet way. But they're just wary of city types who come to judge them and then waltz off, declaring they don't like villagers....

I live in a wonderful village with a big group of friends. I haven’t ever heard any judgement, gossip or negative attitudes from anyone. We are too busy having lots of fun together.

@DrCoconut

I'd hate to live in a village overall. The greater access to open space might be nice but expensive housing, being viewed as an outsider, petty squabbles over parking/wind chimes/what colour your fence is and no facilities for miles makes it a firm no from me. I can walk to my workplace, DC school and the town centre/supermarket within 20 minutes at the moment.

Our village has a doctors, a vets, an optician, a pharmacy, a medium sized co-op, 3 take always, a pub, an Indian, an excellent school, a church, a sport pavilion. A coffee shop and a post office. We are not lacking in facilities.

I love our village and (most of) the surrounding villages.
I have lived in a rubbish one so know it’s not all great.
I grew up in a city and don’t think I could do that again.

Is this another one of those 'l hate anything that's not like I want it to be and is different from what I'm used to'? 'Oh and I'm so accepting fyi'

I love ours. We didn’t know it before buying here but I’ve grown to feel incredibly at home here. Can’t imagine a better place to have a young child. Couldn’t have been in a nicer place for lockdowns. It’s clean, beautiful, friendly, supportive. The community provides an amazing safety net for people having a hard time.

It’s sad for you you were unhappy in one but it’s ridiculous to assume all villages are the same.

I don't live in the village- I live out the back end of no where. I think it definitely depends on the village!
Were equally distance from 3, we definitely prefer one to the others for those reasons you mentioned, I also love living rurally, because of those things too!

@AllThePogs

Don't bloody move to a village then.

I am sure the people living in villages will be happy if you stay away.

Also, what a stupid generalisation anyway. Not all villages are insular and gossipy and cliquey, and some areas in towns and cities ARE. A suburb on the fringes of a town I lived in for 5 years (in the noughties,) had the worst, nastiest, bitchiest women I had ever encountered in my life. AND some of them were racist. There is no more racism in villages than there is anywhere else ... What a stupid comment.

People in the village I live now (and moved to 6 years ago,) are lovely. Welcoming and friendly, and always look out for others who may need help. If you don't fit in/can't get on with village folk, that probably says more about you tbh.

I imagine you to be one of these types who moves into a village and thinks you can behave how you like, and everyone should bend around you and your ways. Doesn't work like that. As I said, don't like villages? Don't bloody move to one!