To hate villages?

[AllThePogs]

The gossiping, nosiness, judgement of others - it is all there. And if you don't fit in, then beware.
I say this from experience. A beautiful looking village in East Sussex that some people will see as the dream. Instead, all I experienced was extreme gossip, racism and narrow-mindedness.

I've left bed in cities towns and villages. I now live in a very friendly tolerant village. You are generalising enormously. Places are what you make of them and you put into them what

Sorry on phone it should say "I've lived in .....

I live in a small village. I can see why people might not like them. Ours is not diverse - it is exclusively white. It’s also quite cliquey and completely and utterly middle class.

Having said that, the people seem to be very kind and considerate and I’m not aware of any gossip or narrow mindedness.

[quote PurpleRainlnTheSky]@AllThePogs

Don't bloody move to a village then.

I am sure the people living in villages will be happy if you stay away.

Also, what a stupid generalisation anyway. Not all villages are insular and gossipy and cliquey, and some areas in towns and cities ARE. A suburb on the fringes of a town I lived in for 5 years (in the noughties,) had the worst, nastiest, bitchiest women I had ever encountered in my life. AND some of them were racist. There is no more racism in villages than there is anywhere else ... What a stupid comment.

People in the village I live now (and moved to 6 years ago,) are lovely. Welcoming and friendly, and always look out for others who may need help. If you don't fit in/can't get on with village folk, that probably says more about you tbh.

I imagine you to be one of these types who moves into a village and thinks you can behave how you like, and everyone should bend around you and your ways. Doesn't work like that. As I said, don't like villages? Don't bloody move to one![/quote]
Jesus, calm down.

Don't move to any of the villages around the New Forest and SO45 postcode/Waterside area - beautiful area but ruined by incredibly insular, unfriendly locals. There is a very nasty hidden undercurrent in many of the New Forest villages, especially the Waterside area. Insular, snobby and unwelcoming to 'outsiders' , as well as loads of drugs.

I lived there for several years, during which time I was verbally abused, threatened and menacingly glared at during my time there, even when simply driving down the road minding my own business..was so glad when DH's job meant we left the area.

I do miss the beautiful New Forest but not the locals.

I recently moved to a little rural village and I've made more connections and friendships in the last year than in the previous 10 in a "friendly and diverse" town. Yes it is gossipy, but usually for positive reasons - I've seen people rally around some of the elderly residents after bouts of I'll health like no where else. We have activity groups, hobbies and the church all of which see a huge swell of support if they announce they are in need. I'll admit it is a mostly white community, and has far too many daily mail readers (or at least the demographic who still pick up their papers from the village shop are!) and is a change for me as I'm used to Birmingham! But we do have some non white residents and they are as integrated as anyone else, including being heads of various committees. I'd love to see more diversity but it's probably assumptions like yours OP that put people off moving to places like ours, whether they are accurate or not!

I don't like the idea of village life at all but I think you probably ABU to feel this way after the experience of living in one village.

You get out what you put in. Join the village hall committee or the church cleaning rota. Volunteer for the village fete. It’s the best way to feel part of the community, make friends and be accepted quickly.
Are you somehow rubbing people up the wrong way? Expecting a city culture? Not respecting village culture?

@MrsWinters

I love my village. I don’t like people moving here from London, expecting it to be like the city….

Agreed!

I bet a month's salary that the OP, and the 40% agreeing with the OP have never even visited a village, let alone lived in one.

I’ve been in one since 2003. You talk about no shreds of evidence, where’s yours for 40%? It’s good you’re happy in your village, but every village thread has a post like yours with someone who loves village life saying anyone who says otherwise is wrong or making it up. You might be the person the rest of us are avoiding…

The OP @AllThePogs sounds bitter and jealous. Don't know why. Only SHE knows that.

I thought she sounded like she’d had a bad experience, not sure where bitter and jealous came from?

@DeepaBeesKit

I lived in London for 13 years.i hardly knew anyone, didnt make any great friends. It felt lonely and soulless and focussed around work.

I now live in a little gossipy village where everyone knows everyone. I have great friends and feel welcome and part of the community. Everyone rallied to support neighbours in lock down.

I love it.

Opposite experience in London. Extremely friendly and social neighbourhood. Great friendships developed.

Can't really generalise. Everyone can have different experiences wherever they live.

I hate living in a village because I hate the countryside and love the city. Any city. Anything that's not a village. I'm miserable, I've landed up in a village and Covid rules have made it so much worse. What a mistake, and stuck here at least till the pandemic is properly under control.

@AllThePogs, I too grew up in a small village. My Mum lived there until she died, my sister still lives there.

I hated it. Everyone knowing not just me but my entire family, it felt claustaphobic. I now live in a town.

But guess where I go on holiday? Eight weeks a year I spend on a small Greek island (population 250 in winter). As a single woman in he

The gossip is half the reason to live there. And not everywhere has to be diverse - a lot of villages still have some ‘indigenous’ populations and their own traditions/culture. They’re not going to be miniature cities in terms of population and we shouldn’t want them to be. Obviously living in them is not for everyone!

I find the idea of villages appealing, precisely because I find wind chimes and the like annoying. Houses in villages around here tend to have more space, bigger gardens, and so less neighbour irritation.

But when I see three takeaways cited as evidence of how many facilities there are, I realise it just isn’t for me. I actually ruled out moving to a small picturesque town near us when I saw a restaurant called Town Name Tandoori. I like variety and novelty, and one Indian is simply not enough. We have five ‘proper Italian’ pizza places in my town (and loads more cheap pizza places) - and I like each of them for its own reasons! I also like the fact I can get to a myriad of evening classes and events by foot or tram.

I also don’t fancy moving into a pretty village that is then developed into something very different.

@AllThePogs

I live in a village in East Sussex. It's utterly batshit - the Facebook page is spectacularly bitchy.

Maybe we're all weird in ES? (Or maybe we live in the same village! Lol)

My parents live in a village but people there don’t really seem to know each other that well at all!

I live in outer London and there’s more of a community feel where I live (but none of the judgement and pettiness you describe OP - it’s not a village though )

Ha think you are either a county mouse or a town mouse and that’s that!

Grew up in a village there were advantages yes but as a teen or young person it was tough unless you into country pursuits like riding which I wasn’t. We had zero public transport so every night out in the nearby city was a bloody fuss of how to get home. Was driven home by drunk lads several times. Lived in a city ever since!

Still get a thrill that I can walk to theatre / cinema / pubs / restaurants. Can also do proper country walks from front door. Edge of a lively city is best of both worlds! My young teens have so much more fun than I did at that age as they are bored of me saying!

I've lived in villages for the last 30 years.

People are interested in their neighbours because they have less stress, less to do, more time spent in their communities. You don't have to humour them. Just say you are a very private person and you prefer to keep yourself to yourself.

I lived in London for 10 years and I hated every second. Unfriendly, dirty, polluted, crowded, crime-ridden, noisy. After 10 years I left, having made two friends.

In my village, people have time to help. They ran my son to school when I had proper flu. When my car was stolen they helped out. I share apples from my tree and get jars of chutney & jam by return. I've made lots of friends,

I like my village, I imagine you want to return to your city. Neither of us is wrong.

I live in a village, but was brought up in a city.

Although the city was friendly enough (our area of it was anyway, can't speak for the rest of it as I was a child/teenager then), I absolutely love our village.

We were worried about being "incomers" but couldn't have been more wrong. Our neighbours on both sides came to introduce themselves quickly on moving in day, and both brought us a housewarming present. We fitted in here straight away.

It's a friendly, caring community where people take in each other's parcels, bins etc. People clear elderly neighbours' paths of ice and snow; get shopping for others in bad weather; let each other's dogs out for a pee (yes, several of us have keys for others' houses!), check in if someone's been ill, take each other to hospital appointments, train stations etc etc if required.

I'm sorry other people here don't have the same experience.

You don’t truly believe that all people in all villages in the whole country are the same??

Or that all city dwellers are too virtuous to gossip or judge?

You’re funny,

I do like a pretty village but every time I’m in one, I can’t help but thinking to myself “Brexiteers”.

How many villages have you lived in, OP? Because unless it's quite a lot, then it's pretty obvious that you are being ridiculously unreasonable. Fwiw I've lived in four. And none of them have been anything like you describe.

I love living in a village. I love that kids can knock on their friends doors to come out to play, I love the sense of community, I love that when one mum couldn't find her son who had wandered off, that within seconds everyone dropped whatever they were doing to help look and he was found straight away I love that everyone says hello to each other. I've lived in big cities and although I loved London in my 20s and 30s I knew I wanted to raise my kids in a village.

I think you have to be the type that will fit into that village. So if it is largely a middle-class white village and you are middle-class and white, you will probably be fine.