To hate villages?

[AllThePogs]

The gossiping, nosiness, judgement of others - it is all there. And if you don't fit in, then beware.
I say this from experience. A beautiful looking village in East Sussex that some people will see as the dream. Instead, all I experienced was extreme gossip, racism and narrow-mindedness.

@LookslovelyinSpringtime

Cities are worse. No one gives a shit about you. Neighbours don’t know each other. Is that better?

I live in what could be described as suburbia and know loads of my neighbours.

I feel like it's hypocritical to say that you don't like people who live in villages because they're all judgemental, and then make generalised judgements yourself.

I don't recognise this idealised diverse city living notion either. You get friendly and unfriendly people everywhere.

Did you rush out of London because of covid and now regret it?

I lived just outside a hamlet for many years, but before that I lived in a small village (1 shop, 1 pub/social club sort of size).

I'd move back to either like a shot if I could as I now live on the outskirts of a city & it's way too close to the city for my comfort.

I really miss the dark night skies where the stars are not obscured by the light output of a city.

I never felt so lonely in the countryside as I do every day in a more urbanised area.
In cities (& I have lived in a few in the UK) everyone is just so unfriendly & they are always dirtier & louder.

@LookslovelyinSpringtime

Cities are worse. No one gives a shit about you. Neighbours don’t know each other. Is that better?

I’ve never understood why neighbours knowing one another is considered so vital. Sure, it’s nice to get on, but as long as you’re not feuding, why do you have to be bosom pals if all you have in common is a postcode?

I spent 20 years living in a 'naice village. My parents still live there but I couldn't afford to move back there even if I wanted to. Everyone knew everyone else's business, there was no diversity, a lot of small-mindedness and gossiping. There were very few people I had much in common with.

I now live approx. 1.5 miles from the city centre - not full-on urban, but not the suburbs either. While I often crave fresh air, peace & quiet, and being nearer countryside, I love being close to work, a variety of cafes and activities for my child, plus a beautiful park. I have a lot of friends nearby but also anonymity which is invaluable to me.

I love my village but that's as far as it goes. I'm a private person and I like to keep myself to myself. Thing is - you have to work hard to fit in a village. Everyone loves my DH and he fits in very well. He talks to anyone, helps everyone and generally smiles a lot.
And me? Due to my general antisocial'ness' I am not so popular. I know where I'm going wrong and I probably could fit in more if I tried a little harder but I'm not really fussed.
I think with villages you get out what you put in.

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Isn’t London supposed to be a collection of villages?

It used to be back in the 60s when I was growing up. Not so sure now.

Name that village OP. Seriously, looking on Rightmove and may need to rule it out

We moved to a large village 2 years ago and to begin with we were met with suspicion as we are from 250 miles where we moved to.
After about a year i was getting to the stage where i started to avoid people and just felt on edge all the time it was awful.
I obviously had to go out as i have children and have to do school runs etc.
A year down the line things have changed and people are friendly its like they have decided we are not a threat to their community.
I also think the children making friends and them starting to learn the language has helped as we live in an area that mainly speaks Welsh.
We have since been told it wasn't actually anything we did we just happened to move to a place that doesn't like change.

I love my village. I suppose people are gossipy but the only reason they're not gossiping about you in a city is because you're an anonymous piece of insignificant flotsam that nobody knows or cares about.

I love that everyone knows me and I know everyone. I walk into the pub by myself but could sit at any table. I can knock on any door and ask for help with anything.

My in-laws live in a lovely village in the South West. It's very pretty and middle class, and the people are kind and know each other, and there's a pub and one of those cosy village primaries that's one class per year. Through visiting there for the past 20 years, I have learnt that a city mouse I was born and a city mouse I shall forever be.

It's my dream to live in a village!

Yep. Tory voting shires. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Weird. "I've lived in a village so I know what it is like living in all villages".

I live in a village and it's great. I have non white, non middle class friends in the village who also love living here. It's a very supportive friendly place and I don't relate to any of the negatives you have posted. Your sample of n=1 doesn't hold water.

I’ve never understood why neighbours knowing one another is considered so vital. Sure, it’s nice to get on, but as long as you’re not feuding, why do you have to be bosom pals if all you have in common is a postcode?
I pet sit for neighbours, they occasionally baby sat for me and now my DC is older he knows he can go to X, Y or Z neighbours if he needs help and I'm not in. I have passed his outgrown school uniform to neighbours. We water each others plants if someone is away in a dry spell. We take in parcels for each other with moaning on MN and put out/take in bins for each other. People have grabbed shopping and prescriptions and all sorts for each other they have had to isolate. We have witnessed documents and had passport applications verified by them. When I was young my mum gave our neighbours a place to sleep for the night when they had a small house fire and the neighbours looked after me when mum had to take my sibling to hospital. All of this has been done without gossip or intrusion. We aren't best pals just friendly and considerate.

I live in a tiny town in Wales, smaller than a lot of Engish villages. A mixture of people from all Walks of life and is very inclusive. Since lockdown more and more people are moving here from England, including the small villages surrounding it too. Its pushed the house prices up which is frustrating.. but I don't blame them, it's lovely, safe, picturesque and extremely rural and away from it all.

I moved out of the village for 2 yrs to Harrogate. (My business has been established here since 2006).
Recently moved back, the neighbor took great delight in telling us that he'd lived here all his life and knew everybody. He started name-dropping certain families.
Who cares, silly pillock.
The local Facebook group is full of Rab wearing IT/finance gimps moaning dog poo and road closures. Jolly boy types.
Wankers.

So you don’t like the “judgment of others” and then post a massively judgemental view that you hate villages.

I recently went through a horrendous time and the support of my village literally kept me alive. Don’t write off a huge proportion of the country just based on your own limited experience.

Ours is great. I am Indian by origin and generally find country people more open minded. I have certainly experienced less racism in rural Norfolk than I did in the West Midlands. In a village everyone knows your business, which is good and bad and you are going to have to travel further to get anywhere. For those of us with DCs, this does mean a lot of driving to activities. However, I would not swap it. Accept though that it is not for everyone and the isolation, community closeness etc is not for everyone. As I have said on previous threads, think really carefully before you move out of a city.

I've lived happily in villages in several countries, but my only experience of living semi-longterm in a village in the UK (seven years) was completely miserable. It looked like a thatched-cottage postcard, in pretty countryside, had a lot of activities and a well-regarded school, was safe, clean, had a bus to the nearest city etc -- but dear God, I've never encountered so much xenophobia, racism, insularity, petty small-mindedness, and conservatism with a big and small C.

I know that all villages are not like this, because I spent the next period living in a village in another country, and it was entirely accepting of foreigners and new people, live-and-let-live, genuine community spirit etc -- but I have to say the village I spent seven years in soured me permanently on the idea of living in rural England, despite having lived very happily in London and elsewhere.

Those who live in villages and love them,please PM me their names. I want to move!

@Subulter that sounds VERY familiar.

@LookslovelyinSpringtime

Those who live in villages and love them,please PM me their names. I want to move!

It's probably a matter of individual perspective - I find the fact that when we moved in there was a batch of home made cookies and a bottle of champagne on the doorstep to welcome us to the road delightful but I'm sure the people who love anonymity would see at as an invasion of their privacy. It's horse for courses. Ours is a large village so nobody knows everybody and it's easy to keep yourself to yourself if you want to.

I can't stand them.

I mean, I've managed to locate my castle in an area prone to lightening storms, hired a decent Igor and it's even got a well stocked cemetery and what happens?

The intolerant buggers mob up and keep trying to burn it down with the flaming torches and the pitchforks.

Do they not see my genius here?????