Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate villages?

225 replies

AllThePogs · 11/01/2022 17:35

The gossiping, nosiness, judgement of others - it is all there. And if you don't fit in, then beware.
I say this from experience. A beautiful looking village in East Sussex that some people will see as the dream. Instead, all I experienced was extreme gossip, racism and narrow-mindedness.

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 11/01/2022 18:18

I've lived in a city, a town and two villages. The village we now live in is fantastic, we have all facilities we could need, doctor, pharmacy, hair dressers, 3 pubs, coop, 2 takeaways, 3 restaurants, greengrocer, butcher and village shop/post office with even more facilities close by.

The village of course has those people, like everywhere, the anti-vaxxers, racist, Brexit voting Boris loving sort, but they're easy to ignore when you focus on the really lovely people who also live here.

We are surrounded by fields, woodland and miles of walks, we can see the stars clearly at night and we have multiple outstanding schools which all have spaces each year.

I wouldn't move back.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 11/01/2022 18:18

@DrCoconut

I'd hate to live in a village overall. The greater access to open space might be nice but expensive housing, being viewed as an outsider, petty squabbles over parking/wind chimes/what colour your fence is and no facilities for miles makes it a firm no from me. I can walk to my workplace, DC school and the town centre/supermarket within 20 minutes at the moment.
You can do those things in many villages and small towns too.
Waxonwaxoff0 · 11/01/2022 18:19

YANBU. Couldn't imagine anything worse than living in a village. Boring as hell and everyone knows your business. Give me a city any day where I can be anonymous.

SockFluffInTheBath · 11/01/2022 18:20

Ours is very dull. There are a couple of ladies of a certain age who think they’re in charge, and ‘community’ is an excuse to know all your business. I’m a dyed in the wool city rat, only here because DH already had the house, I never aspired to village life and when the DC leave school we’re off.

Lipsandlashes · 11/01/2022 18:21

Bit of a generalisation

CheshireKitten123 · 11/01/2022 18:21

We moved from a large town to a village and it was the biggest mistake ever.

Nosey, gossipy, narrow-minded people, Parish Pump Politics, nothing much in shops, people driving like they have all day, danger of getting run down by mobility scooters going full tilt, I could go on...

We are preparing to move soon...

SockFluffInTheBath · 11/01/2022 18:22

The village we now live in is fantastic, we have all facilities we could need, doctor, pharmacy, hair dressers, 3 pubs, coop, 2 takeaways, 3 restaurants, greengrocer, butcher and village shop/post office

That’s a very big village! I might be able to cope with one like that, but I’d still rather a city.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 11/01/2022 18:23

Have worked in a lot of villages. With a lot of people whose dream was to move to the country and were bitterly regretting it.

2022success · 11/01/2022 18:24

I grew up in, and live in an East Sussex village. Even when I went to school in the seventies and eighties, I had schoolfriends from other cultures/ethnicities. Now it's very diverse which is great.

I am sorry you experienced racism OP.

The gossiping is part of the fun!

Yants · 11/01/2022 18:25

I fully agree with the gossipy, cliquey nature of villages.

Ideally I'd love to live rurally but with the anonymity that usually comes with City living

Mrsjayy · 11/01/2022 18:26

My village is diverse we also have amenities and good bus routes etc etc. There is gossip but don't you get gossip everywhere on your street at your job? Where you live sounds awful though .

FriendshipsAreHardForMe · 11/01/2022 18:26

I hate towns/cities. No parking, no community spirit, more crime, more litter, too crowded.

Each to their own.

stuntbubbles · 11/01/2022 18:27

Ooh, which East Sussex village? I have several on my dream Rightmove list. I’ve been the subject of SCURRILOUS gossip in an East Sussex village and tbh found it all hilarious; a good village is a microcosm community and has the best and worse of a neighbourhood, concentrated. But even in London I’ve lived in neighbourhoods with that village community feel. Just with more fried chicken shops and less pretty countryside.

PlanetNormal · 11/01/2022 18:28

YABU.

We have lived in a very nice village for 20 years. It’s not where either of us grew up and we don’t have children so we don’t know many local people via the school. We just live here, deliberately keeping ourselves to ourselves so we get the benefits of living in a nice environment without the downsides of people prying into our lives. We are oblivious to local tittle-tattle which suits us fine. It isn’t compulsory to

PlanetNormal · 11/01/2022 18:29

Contd…

Join in the local gossip or speak to the local busybodies.

emilyintheSE · 11/01/2022 18:30

YANBU

I will leave central london only when I'm dead. In the meantime I'll enjoy the madness, creativity, and diversity.

GiveYourHeadAWobble · 11/01/2022 18:30

I love living in a village, but I think YANBU. There is a side to village life that can be hard, as people like to drag others into any arguments or disagreements they have. However, this can happen in any close community, including in cities.

dayswithaY · 11/01/2022 18:34

That's why I love watching This Country, they have village life spot on. I grew up in a village and it was definitely more Kerry and Curten than Miss Marple.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/01/2022 18:34

The one I lived in in east sussex was most definitely gammonsville. I hated it. I live in a village in Somerset now and its a totally different kettle of fish, everyone is friendly and not just well off people live there, the whole spectrum of society live in villages in Somerset.

Runningupthecurtains · 11/01/2022 18:34

You are being unreasonable to not name and shame the village. I am an Easy Sussex "incomer" and we love our village. Plenty of facilities, fantastic schools, lovely neighbours, beautiful countryside, really good support for people during lockdown oh and bonfire season - got to love a flaming tar barrel!

1forAll74 · 11/01/2022 18:36

I live in a village, but don't much get involved with things here, I came here about 17 years ago, Things were a bit different then, it was fairly quiet and orderly. with more older residents. Over the years,lots of people from elsewhere have bought houses here, as in people from the London areas,who fancied a more rural life, but who could still commute to their work in London etc. With this, they have upped the big cars scenario, and more parking problems on the narrow roads here. More children, who are always driven to school, when everywhere is within walking distance. so large cars parked outside little rows of old cottages,where oldies live. who can't get out of their little frontages, as people park half on the pavements.

This does not affect me though, as I live off road,down a little track, and miss any aggro on the road further up from me..

What has changed though, is the advent of the social media ,and the FB community pages, where the oldies, and the more younger influx of people, banter about all sorts of problems between themselves, as in the newbies, and the older people, who were born in the village many years ago, as in conflicting views all the time. Usually these views,were only voiced at the church meetings and parish council meetings.years ago..

None of this bothers me at all, I am an oldie,and don't get involved in tittle tattle, I have just noticed all the changes here over the last 17 years.

SuPerDoPer · 11/01/2022 18:37

I've recently moved to a big village from a city. I'd have preferred to stay in the city if it was just about me but in the parts of the city I could afford the schools are crap and there are massive problems with gangs and drugs. I think in the long term the DC will be better off here. We are on a major bus route into the city and the nearest town has a main line station so its not remote, just quieter. I wouldn't want to live in a tiny village without transport links.

AllKindsOfWrong · 11/01/2022 18:38

I've lived in a tiny village for many years.
I have no idea if my neighbours are cliquey or gossips as I've never had anything to do with them. I live in my own little corner, doing my own thing and I rarely use the local shops.
I love it.

GTAlogic · 11/01/2022 18:39

It probably depends on the village. I live in a village but it's not one of those picture postcard type villages; it's an ex-mining village in Yorkshire. It has its problems with crime and drugs etc like anywhere else but it's also safe and friendly and has a nice community feel to it. Dh used to live in a different ex-mining village about half an hour away and hated it there. He said he was always made to feel like an outsider because his family moved there rather than growing up there. He said that that is the type of place where everyone knows everyone else's business and if you don't fit in then you're ostracised.

childbenefitq · 11/01/2022 18:40

I live in a village and we have none of that so I think YABU to say "villages" as if they are all the same @AllThePogs