To ask how long you waited to have sex after baby?

[Bells3032]

Baby is three weeks old and thanks to a combination of a fast labour and tiny baby there is very little damage down there (had one stitch). Is it weird that i am horny and raring to go. But I think it may be too soon physically plus need to get condoms (don't want another baby soon).

How long did you wait and how was it? Any regrets?

Oh god ages, I think maybe 9-10 weeks? I had an EMCS after failed labour and for MONTHS afterwards sex was agony when he was trying to push in. Baby didn't even come out of my foof and it was so painful so fuck knows how anybody else did it sooner!

About 4 weeks, literally as soon as the bleeding stopped

A couple of weeks and i was lucky that it was entirely my choice. Couldn't wait to get back to normal after months of careful pregnancy sex. I've since read that you're advised to wait six weeks after the birth because of a risk of infection, apparently.

6 weeks with each baby. I bled for 6 weeks after each birth and I thought you weren't meant to have sex until after that had stopped because of infection risk.

@StarryNightSparkles

Just to add to my post earlier. I didn't have any bleeding, pain in my flower or bosoms, my emotions were fine, no swelling or anything else. I literally had my baby and the next morning every thing was back to pre pregnancy state. When people visited me at home jaws dropped at how good I looked. Everyone said I can't believe you have just had a baby.

This thread has me reflecting on that time. Was my body odd? I just thought at the time it was because during my pregnancy I didn't work, my diet was healthy, I walked or done yoga daily and I kept up all my self care.

Oh come on

'flower or bosoms'

[quote Rubyupbeat]@MasterBeth
What rubbish, even my Irish friends ise the term Irish twins![/quote]
It’s not rubbish that some people consider the phrase Irish twins to be racist. Some people do.

About 3m. I was breastfeeding though and I think that changes all the hormones massively. I've never been the least interest in sex while bf enough to have no periods. I did it occasionally for DH during the lactational amenorrhea period but could have taken it or left it.

I literally had my baby and the next morning every thing was back to pre pregnancy state. When people visited me at home jaws dropped at how good I looked.

Ha, funny

What @Bemorebridget said

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@housemaus yeah, I get that, I suppose I just can’t imagine still being in pain, swollen, bleeding exhausted and fancying a shag. There are other ways to bond and be intimate with your partner too.

Also I’m more that capable of seeing to myself if I need to 😂

But really I just think some of these posters must truly not have given themselves much time to heal at all before they DTD, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.[/quote]
Ah yeah that's fair enough, and I do think there's still v much a culture of 'well he's been waiting AGES' - which is gross. Stories of the doctor being like WAHEY M8 YOU CAN CRACK ON AGAIN to the dads at 6 week check ups are equally gross.

Buuuuut if you are actually happy then crack on - a friend of mine said, just after having her second, that she wanted to run a 10k as she felt amazing 6 days after birth (and then was swiftly told not to be a smug bastard by our other, more typical post-partum friend ).

So some people clearly feel pretty good (the lucky lot)... and I imagine if you did feel like that and you've got a nice partner, all the lovey 'we made a beautiful baby'/close/bonding feelings could definitely translate into wanting to have sex.

Six weeks with the first, wanted to before that, but DC1 was on me LITERALLY ALL THE TIME.

Two weeks with DC2. Had straightforward vaginal births and felt fine and ready to go.

When I had mine I was advised to wait 6 weeks, DH was counting down the days.

Many many weeks. I don't even remember. Last thing I wanted was sex after having my stomach cut open!

First baby I felt quite similar to you, second time round and I could happily never have sex ever again.

Pretty sure that it's impossible to have "no bleeding" at all considering your placenta leaves a dinner plate sized wound in your uterus.

@TulipsGarden

I simply cannot believe the few days/weeks comments 😳 It took about six weeks for my bleeding to stop, at least as long for my c section to be fully healed, and a good few months for me to feel human enough to want sex. Especially as I had a baby attached to me the vast majority of the time, next to my bed for the first six months. Days???!!!

Totally agree.

I suppose I just can’t imagine still being in pain, swollen, bleeding exhausted and fancying a shag.

I wasn't in pain or swollen after either of my births, and heavy bleeding only lasted about 5-7 days with both; bleeding was virtually over by the 2 week mark. I also just like sex. I did it because I wanted to. I've no issue with people waiting as long as it takes for them to feel comfortable having sex after birth, but that also means accepting that some women genuinely feel comfortable having sex fairly quickly, and the NHS is quite clear that there is no medical need to "wait" if you feel up to it.

@GettingStuffed

When I had mine I was advised to wait 6 weeks, DH was counting down the days.

Ugh.

I suppose I just can’t imagine still being in pain, swollen, bleeding exhausted and fancying a shag.

No pain slightly puffy ankles, bleeding over within just over a week, more sleep than in my really tough pregnancy, it was fine.

The first couple of weeks postpartum I felt like I could do anything. The first time I went out after having our second, is even put on make up and straightened my freshly washed hair*

*3y later, I'm fatter, more tired and have my hair scraped back. It's not all rainbows and roses, but the first few weeks were for me, and for that I'm very fortunate.

So surprised by these responses.

I've spoken about this in real life with many friends / sisters / cousins and it's always been months and months down the line.

It's not just the physical aspect of it, it's the complete exhaustion that comes with having a baby, and many simply don't get any alone time without a crying / colicky baby. Plus the breastfeeding lowering the libido and the "touched out" feeling.

I guess everybody is different, just surprised at the overwhelming majority on this thread being the days/ few weeks crowd.

3 weeks.Ut felt a bit strange but soon went back to normal.My organising felt different for a while too

Exactly 5 weeks.. I had an episiotomy and was a little scared but ot was fine and still is fine 3 months on! Haven’t given it a second though :)

@BeeDavis

Exactly 5 weeks.. I had an episiotomy and was a little scared but ot was fine and still is fine 3 months on! Haven’t given it a second though :)

Exactly the same for me, could have written this!

With the first two it was about 3 weeks. It was longer with my third baby about 10 weeks but it wasn't a straight forward birth like the other two.
No regrets.

@yourestandingonmyneck I did it after 2 weeks, i wasn't bleeding anymore, didn't hurt anywhere, plus i lost shit loads of weight when pregnant (healthy eating, no alcohol and terrible heartburn), so felt good about my slimmer body.

I also was fortunate enough to have bloody easy babies, who slept well, barely cried and were on a routine from birth more or less. (Gina Ford babies who are 20/19/17 now) so i wasn't sleep deprived or completely exhausted tbh. I found babies a piece of piss. I am more sleep deprived nowadays lying there worrying, waiting for my boys to come home in the early hours! Teenage boys are fucking hard work.