To ask how long you waited to have sex after baby?

[Bells3032]

Baby is three weeks old and thanks to a combination of a fast labour and tiny baby there is very little damage down there (had one stitch). Is it weird that i am horny and raring to go. But I think it may be too soon physically plus need to get condoms (don't want another baby soon).

How long did you wait and how was it? Any regrets?

@housemaus yeah, I get that, I suppose I just can’t imagine still being in pain, swollen, bleeding exhausted and fancying a shag. There are other ways to bond and be intimate with your partner too.

Also I’m more that capable of seeing to myself if I need to 😂

But really I just think some of these posters must truly not have given themselves much time to heal at all before they DTD, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

With first baby it was around 6-7wks. I had an emcs. It was quite sore (even though I had a section) but not as bad as I thought. However it got worse and 18 months down the line was agony. Not sure if it was hormonal or whatever but not gd. Ironically it only got better with regular sex which was when we were trying for number 2.

Same thing happened again this time but it's even more painful. She's 2 now I'm not even sure I've had sex a handful of times times since she's been born. Go months inbetween because it's so sore.

After second baby I didn't have sex for about 5-6 months from when she was born. I was exhausted, really was last thing on my mind.

First time (elcs) 10 days, though we had aome 'fun' at 5 days.

Second (also elcs) I think it was 14 days - slightly longer because it was difficult to find time with the toddler round as well.

All initiated by me, and after I'd finished bleeding.

How the fuck is it boasting to answer a direct question? The response from the majority if anyone suggests they did it quite early is overwhelmingly very negative. Most people sensibly prefer to wait. Thats whats recommended. Other people for whatever reason get the urge to do it again quite early. Peoples libidos and risk aversion can differ massively cant they. Some people are sex addicts too. I think Ive made all sorts of risky and dangerous sexual choices in my life. Im not condoning it or boasting. I feel totally neutral about other peoples consensual sex lives. People decide their own risks vs desires

I went to university with someone whose mum was systematically raped by their dad, he used to tell it was gods will to have so many children . She had back to back pregnancy from her teens up until her early thirties then the doctor delivering her 14th baby offered to do a hysterectomy at the same time as her c-section and she understandably agreed. It was presented to her husband as a post operative complication. Happens across all cultures not just Irish.

Just to add to my post earlier. I didn't have any bleeding, pain in my flower or bosoms, my emotions were fine, no swelling or anything else. I literally had my baby and the next morning every thing was back to pre pregnancy state. When people visited me at home jaws dropped at how good I looked. Everyone said I can't believe you have just had a baby.

This thread has me reflecting on that time. Was my body odd? I just thought at the time it was because during my pregnancy I didn't work, my diet was healthy, I walked or done yoga daily and I kept up all my self care.

Gave it a go after about three weeks with first one. I found it uncomfortable piv so we stopped. By six weeks back to normal. Later after our subsequent children due to logistics/tiredness if i recall correctly. Not months though. We were pretty happy go lucky and I had reasonably straightforward births. Was always after the post birth bleed had stopped though.

@StarryNightSparkles

You were incredibly lucky then.

@StarryNightSparkles

Just to add to my post earlier. I didn't have any bleeding, pain in my flower or bosoms, my emotions were fine, no swelling or anything else. I literally had my baby and the next morning every thing was back to pre pregnancy state. When people visited me at home jaws dropped at how good I looked. Everyone said I can't believe you have just had a baby.

This thread has me reflecting on that time. Was my body odd? I just thought at the time it was because during my pregnancy I didn't work, my diet was healthy, I walked or done yoga daily and I kept up all my self care.

I call bullshit

pain in my flower or bosoms 🙄

About two months with DD1, I'd had an episiotomy and wanted to be sure everything was healed. Even then we went really carefully .

Longer with DD2, can't remember exactly but probably around three or four months. I'd had stitches again and they had torn and the midwives left me to heal naturally, apparently they don't re do the stitches if they can help it so had many awful weeks of daily salt baths whilst I healed.

@WheelieBinPrincess that's what I am thinking.

@Bemorebridget call it if you want but I can assure you it's true.

I can't remember exactly, but it was quite a while, probably about 6 months at least.

Sex was about the last thing on my mind just 5 days post-partum! On day 5 after giving birth, I was still in the maternity hospital and could barely sit down, due to episiotomy (which was routinely performed on all mothers in labour) and the resultant stitches!

@Bemorebridget

pain in my flower or bosoms 🙄

Is this all you have time for today. To sit on MN and fling digs at me 🤷‍♀️ lol. Is that what you teach your children to sit judging others when you don't know the full story? How sad of a life!

Here's a little bit of my story. I waited 11 years to conceive and God knows how I tried and wanted my baby. Then at 8 weeks, I started bleeding heavily big massive clots. The bleeding lasted all through my pregnancy. I was in hospital for most of my pregnancy and kept going into early labour. I had every drug pumped into me daily to try and keep my child alive.

So please whatever issues you have don't take them out on me 💐

@StarryNightSparkles that is not exactly the picture you painted at first, which was all healthy living and yoga

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@StarryNightSparkles that is not exactly the picture you painted at first, which was all healthy living and yoga [/quote]
Sorry to drop feed. I did eat healthy and do yoga. My anxiety was through the roof and obviously as I had no control on my body looked for things I could control.

Yeah I mean that still doesn't explain "flower and bososms".

I've had five and it was definitely within the week with two of them. Can't remember with the others but I tore with two of them so no doubt we waited a little longer.

Several months. Stitches but otherwise good. Breastfed baby was close most the time before then.

Gynaecologist said it’s really not great before 6 weeks, as inside where placenta was attached is still basically a giant open wound. So infection is really common, and can cause a whole host of issues.

Was months as I had deep stitches. Felt awful to be honest. I def had 7 weeks of bleeding. But we all different

If you feel ready, give it a go! I waited about 5 weeks as I bled heavily for AGES. Despite having c sections I still found sex painful for the first 3/4 times after birth. It was so tight

@HalloHello

Does no one bleed after birth no?? I bled for weeks with both my babies, and it stinks so no way I would be letting anyone near me

I did! For weeks - and yes, the blood smelt like a butchers

@IWasFunBeforeMum

9 months. And baby 2 was conceived.

12 weeks for me, and baby 2 was conceived.

Does no one bleed after birth no?? I bled for weeks with both my babies, and it stinks so no way I would be letting anyone near me

Yes, but not much, and I was on pantyliners by day 5, and ditched those by day 10. After the first 48 hours it was just like a light period.