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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bday falls on SS weekend

256 replies

Driverssp · 09/01/2022 18:32

Dp is saying we will have to either do it a diff weekend or do something in the house or with kids.

My bday actually falls on a sat for once. We havent had a date night in forever because of a lot of crap thats gone on lately. Is it too much to ask that he be dropped to nans 5 mins down the rd for a couple of hours whilst we go out for my bday?

He comes over and is glued to PS5 we only see him for meal times or if we force him to come out. So why can he not game at nans for that time?

The thing that gets me is, DP will gladly work on the weekends he has him, so he cant be that bothered about quality time!

OP posts:
MostlyHappyMummy · 09/01/2022 18:36

Who minds SS when his dad works during his contact time?

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 09/01/2022 18:39

Can't you do something the night before? Or do something with SS? I've got to admit I'm not too fussed about celebrating on my actual birthday, it's more about when is suitable for childcare etc and it seems you have every other weekend when you don't have a child to think of.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 09/01/2022 18:41

Go out with your friends instead. No, it isn't too much to ask to want your partner to go out for a meal for your birthday, especially when he already leaves his son while he works. However, it sounds like it's just causing an argument. He's definitely taking you for granted but can you be bothered with the argument and then him potentially feeling forced to go out with you rather than be there of his own free will? I'd just go out with your friends instead and tell him he'll need to make it up to you

Fordian · 09/01/2022 18:41

Yes, move it to a non-contact weekend.

And think carefully about the 'working' when he has SS. Ask yourself if he's making a point to his ex? Sorry if I'm reading too much into this.

Original poster
Driverssp · 09/01/2022 18:43

@MostlyHappyMummy

Who minds SS when his dad works during his contact time?
Me
OP posts:
Muthalucka · 09/01/2022 18:43

Can’t ss come out for lunch or go out for dinner when he’s in bed (with a babysitter)

Original poster
Driverssp · 09/01/2022 18:44

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

Can't you do something the night before? Or do something with SS? I've got to admit I'm not too fussed about celebrating on my actual birthday, it's more about when is suitable for childcare etc and it seems you have every other weekend when you don't have a child to think of.
The weekends before and after we have things we cant change

I get that usually im not fussed but after the time weve had lately we could do with this.

OP posts:
londonrach · 09/01/2022 18:45

You busy on contact weekends...DP needs to be there for his D's. Move your birthday to a none contact weekend but I'd be rethinking DP if he not that much into his children. Children cine before any one so to leave them with no partner and arrange to work is be worried

Original poster
Driverssp · 09/01/2022 18:46

@Muthalucka

Can’t ss come out for lunch or go out for dinner when he’s in bed (with a babysitter)
No different to going to nans for the same duration.

Plus he is a teen so bedtime is 3am!!

OP posts:
TheRealHousewife · 09/01/2022 18:48

Is SS step sister?

TheRealHousewife · 09/01/2022 18:49

Step Son? Brains gone to mush.

Marmight · 09/01/2022 18:49

If he is a teen, why does he need a babysitter??

If you want to go out for a meal for a few hours, I'm sure he will will be fine on his PS5

Spidey66 · 09/01/2022 18:49

I think it's stepson.

Seeline · 09/01/2022 18:50

Surely if he's old enough to go to bed at 3am he's old enough to be left at home alone while you go out for a meal?

If DP won't go out, can you have a girl's night out instead and just leave him at home?

dancemom · 09/01/2022 18:50

How old is he?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/01/2022 18:51

He’s not necessarily being unreasonable to want to spend time with his SS when he’s there, however I would definitely bear it in mind and refuse to babysit your SS next time your partner has work on a weekend, you can point out he has made it clear his priority is his SS and so surely he needs to cancel work.

Wrinklyeyes · 09/01/2022 18:51

If he’s old enough to stay up till 3am gaming then he’s old enough to stay at home alone whilst you go out for dinner.

AnotherSillawithanS · 09/01/2022 18:52

Your dp, is putting his child first. Bravo.

Fuuuuuckit · 09/01/2022 18:53

How old is ss? A 3am bedtime suggests older teen (or shit parenting/supervision), perfectly able to leave him alone for a few hours.

KiloWhat · 09/01/2022 18:53

Go out with someone else?

Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 09/01/2022 18:54

Teen shouldn't need a sitter. Tbh will he even notice you aren't in?!!
If his df can leave him with a sitter (you) while he works he is being a twat not to for your birthday..

Immunetypegoblin · 09/01/2022 18:54

Tell your DH that's fine, then arrange to go out with your friends. See whether that changes his ideas (bet it does)

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 09/01/2022 18:56

Arrange a fabulous eve out with your friends, dinner and cocktails!

RedCandyApple · 09/01/2022 18:57

Why can’t you go out and leave him in the house if he’s a teen?

Original poster
Driverssp · 09/01/2022 18:57

@Fuuuuuckit

How old is ss? A 3am bedtime suggests older teen (or shit parenting/supervision), perfectly able to leave him alone for a few hours.
13

Yes i agree thats too late but its allowed with mum so he just lets him get on with it.

OP posts: