Snooping neighbor has cut the top off my tree so he can get a better view into my garden. How should I approach this with him

[mug2018]

I'll start off by saying that I live in a really lovely close, where my neighbors are in red supportive & kind (I'm a recently divorced single mum)
My Nextdoor neighbors are generally really kind. Pop round to feed the cat when I'm away, put my bins out, help me with jobs I'm stuck with etc. However, Mr Neighbors is so unbelievably nosy. For example, when I was sunbathing on my trampoline he text me to check I was ok as he had 'noticed' I'd been asleep for a while 😳
He regularly comments on what I've been doing when I've been in my garden 😣
On a number of occasions I've directly told him to stop nosing into my garden, and also in front of his wife (she told him off too) (he looks out of their upstairs, spare room window)
I have a tree that I'm growing to try to mask his view. I was away for a few days over Christmas and having come home, I see it's been cut to the level of the top of the 6ft fence. It's not s massive tree but it will help when (if it ever is allowed) to grow.
I'm amused but equally fuming.
My partner is going to build a canopy over my patio in the spring that will mask his view, but for gods sack ... this has now pissed me off.
How would you approach this. They are generally really nice and kind people, but this is just a step over the mark 😩

@WhereYouLeftIt that's exactly what I need but I'm restricted to what I can attach it to, so I'll have a stoop (not sure what else to call it) .. basically a roof over my patio with open sides

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]
I'd pay a lot more for a house in an area where I knew the neighbours weren't nosy.

Long planter with bamboo in along the fence. I have one and it obscures perfectly.
Also for the summer one of these...I have one

www.gardenfurniturecentre.co.uk/square-wall-mounted-parasol-natural.html

I couldn't have a sail cover either.

@Yummayumma

Just ask him directly why he trimmed the tree. Then ask him not to as you're growing it for privacy.

Exactly

Is it possible he trimmed it as it was setting off the motion sensor? Not a reasonable excuse. And if the motion sensor is pointing your way, that needs to be moved

When you talk with him (making sure his wife and your do are both present) I think you should specially state that you are growing the tree to provide you with more privacy in your garden.

What baffles me is how he thought you wouldn’t notice that the top of your tree had been hacked! I’d definitely be speaking to our neighbourhood policing team about his behaviour.

Creepy - you need to stop contact with him, and not let him feed cat etc. You can also get a solicitor to send him a letter requesting him to stop. It is not acceptable so don`t let him get away with it.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

I would catch the wife or put a note through the door and say that there was some criminal damage done to your garden while you were away. Before you report it to the police could they please let you know whether they saw anyone in your garden. If so could they give a description so that you can pass it on as part of your report.

You could also mentioned that you will be putting up a camera to cover your garden in case the vandalism was targeted at you rather than random.

This is the best idea IMO.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

I would catch the wife or put a note through the door and say that there was some criminal damage done to your garden while you were away. Before you report it to the police could they please let you know whether they saw anyone in your garden. If so could they give a description so that you can pass it on as part of your report.

You could also mentioned that you will be putting up a camera to cover your garden in case the vandalism was targeted at you rather than random.

Yes, this. How dare he?

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]
Hahaha this has made me howl with laughter ...
an emergency neighbours meeting??? Instructed to stop work immediately???

Quite frankly, if this was me, I would have instructed all of you to keep your nosey sticky beaks out of my business and built the highest, most private fence that I possibly could.

Neighbours are just people who live nearby, they have no rights to 'instruct you to stop works immediately' if the work is legal, just not to your liking.

This guy sounds potentially predatory. Change your locks!

I'd tell him straight that you were growing the tree to given you privacy in your garden and you did not give him permission to cut your tree. I'd repeat it to his wife too - so they are clear.

It’s really not funny. He damaged your property. He watches you. He comments on your behaviour. Ffs. Have some boundaries.

@Franklyfrost

It’s really not funny. He damaged your property. He watches you. He comments on your behaviour. Ffs. Have some boundaries.

I agree.

Think of the example you are setting your daughter, putting up with this bullshit on your doorstep.

He cut YOUR tree so he watch you and your daughter.

Your lack of boundaries is unbelievable.

This is a police matter.

Criminal damage and predatory behaviour.

What is your passivity showing your daughter?

That you just put up with this.

My 14yo DD won't sit out unless the shelter is up masking his view

And yet you've maintained friendly relations with him, had him help with jobs, given him a key to you and your daughters home when you're away to feed the cats...

Your boundaries are scarily poor OP.

You've got a teenage daughter. Stop teaching her that being 'nice' (even to pervy men who fucking spy on you) and not making a fuss is more important than being able to feel comfortable in your own home and garden.

*Hahaha this has made me howl with laughter ...
an emergency neighbours meeting??? Instructed to stop work immediately???

Quite frankly, if this was me, I would have instructed all of you to keep your nosey sticky beaks out of my business and built the highest, most private fence that I possibly could.

Neighbours are just people who live nearby, they have no rights to 'instruct you to stop works immediately' if the work is legal, just not to your liking.*
Read Reddit r/JustNoHOA for some unbelievable stories.

If you were growing that pear tree to have a pleasing shape, he’s fucked it up proper.

I’d be fucking furious if someone made such a crack handed job on one of my trees. I’d certainly want it replaced like for like. Which wouldn’t be cheap.

I think I am a "good enough" parent that does her best.

But if my neighbour behaved like that and made my child uncomfortable in her home, they would bloody know it.
The neighbours would and I would absolutely be seeking police advice.
I would absolutely be kicking up maximum fuss to embarrass the shit out of him AND his wife whom must know bloody well what he is like.

Criminal damage and making your child feel uncomfortable in her garden??

You sound like a nice woman who has lost her way through being far too passive.

You should be kicking up blue murder at this.

@sueelleker

The purpose of Home Owners’ Associations is to ensure that neighbourhoods uphold high standards, and ultimately to preserve home value.

In the U.K., there are often issues with neighbours making inappropriate alternations to their plots or simply behaving in an uncouth manner not in keeping with the ambiance of the neighbourhood.

Frankly, we’d benefit from HOAs enforcing strict rules in the U.K. We were able to take emergency action with the neighbour building a high fence through neighbourhood pressure, but I suspect many will not br as fortunate.

Just a heads up @mug2018 you've made the sun newspaper, hopefully they're not readers!
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/17249498/nosy-neighbour-staring-sunbathing-tree/

[quote MinnieJackson]Just a heads up @mug2018 you've made the sun newspaper, hopefully they're not readers!
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/17249498/nosy-neighbour-staring-sunbathing-tree/[/quote]
It might be good if they are and recognise themselves.

@CaptainMyCaptain Fingers crossed my neighbours are readers (see earlier posts) 😬. I’m sure the headline of chopping down tree will attract their attention in light of what they have done!

Hope your ok @mug2018 and this doesn’t cause you any further problems.

Jeez!

These people saying they're 'taking emergency action about a too high fence'
How high was the fence??