Snooping neighbor has cut the top off my tree so he can get a better view into my garden. How should I approach this with him

[mug2018]

I'll start off by saying that I live in a really lovely close, where my neighbors are in red supportive & kind (I'm a recently divorced single mum)
My Nextdoor neighbors are generally really kind. Pop round to feed the cat when I'm away, put my bins out, help me with jobs I'm stuck with etc. However, Mr Neighbors is so unbelievably nosy. For example, when I was sunbathing on my trampoline he text me to check I was ok as he had 'noticed' I'd been asleep for a while 😳
He regularly comments on what I've been doing when I've been in my garden 😣
On a number of occasions I've directly told him to stop nosing into my garden, and also in front of his wife (she told him off too) (he looks out of their upstairs, spare room window)
I have a tree that I'm growing to try to mask his view. I was away for a few days over Christmas and having come home, I see it's been cut to the level of the top of the 6ft fence. It's not s massive tree but it will help when (if it ever is allowed) to grow.
I'm amused but equally fuming.
My partner is going to build a canopy over my patio in the spring that will mask his view, but for gods sack ... this has now pissed me off.
How would you approach this. They are generally really nice and kind people, but this is just a step over the mark 😩

@RocketFire7

This is a tough one. Obviously it’s not ideal having your tree trimmed, but perhaps he thought he was just lending a hand.

There are also some neighbourhoods which really like to encourage getting to know each other- I can see how a high tree or fence would be out of place with this ambience.

Personally I’d suck it up in the interests of supporting the neighbourhood culture and developing good neighbourly relations.

Nothing says ambience like a butchered tree. And trespassing.

Well he's perving on a woman and a 14 year old, police advice would be my action

@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.

i would immediately be putting a trellis up and growing some evergreen climbers . or some tall bamboo ( ones where roots dont spread )

get some privacy straight away

He can't do that - time to get boundaries (!) in place. You need to tell him cutting the tree isn't on. And frankly listen to your daughter. She is uncomfortable in her own home because of this man.

Find someone else to be helpful - the current price is too high.

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]
Thank goodness we don't have those in the UK then. It is illegal to do what he has done. I live in a very neighbourly area but the gardens have fairly high fences and nobody objects to trees.

Your neighbour is not nice and kind.

Nice and kind people do not reach over a fence to vandalise other people's plants. If he had an issue with the tree, he should have raised it with you. Just cutting it was a very, very, aggressive thing to do. Commenting on your sunbathing and hot tub use was creepy behaviour with sexual undertones, designed to make you feel uncomfortable.

Your neighbour is not nice and kind. He is an aggressive creep who's playing power games with you.

Send him a formal letter addressed to his wife saying that someone from their property has leaned into your garden to vandalise your tree which cost [£], you are going to assume that as this is a one off that it was an innocent mistake, for the avoidance of confusion no one has the right to cut plants in another's garden and you will not accept any further vandalising of your plants or property.

Block his number why on earth are you accepting creepy texts? All communication should be via his wife.

@IncompleteSenten

Change your locks and get someone else to feed the cat. He sounds like the sort of creep who'd put a bloody camera in your bathroom.

You need to be very blunt.
I like my privacy and don't appreciate being watched.

Sad but true, this would really creep me out, not like it's a one off either

@HippeePrincess

Do you think that a man would ever be advised to send their wife round?

I can think of a couple, one even has a sign on the door “Forget the Dog, Beware of the Wife” LOL

This man’s wife would be furious if you ever called the police

@Rocketfire7 the OP is in the UK so bossy US neighbours organisations are irrelevant.

@HoppingPavlova

Two words. Non-spreading bamboo.

Definitely this! Our neighbour had bamboo growing at the end of her garden and it grew so tall! You can cut it back but it keeps on growing!

And, please Op, check your house for cameras.

He sounds sinister...I could not deal with someone watching me sleep when I was sunbathing!!

@RocketFire7 Are you the neighbour? This man is a creep and needs boundaries not encouragement of a nice ambience for his pervy habit 😂

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]
It is not friendly to be perving on your neighbour; or to trespass on their property; or to cut down a tree on their land without permission, to enhance your eyeline into your neighbour's backyard.

There has been no discussion. The circumstances here are utterly unrelated to what you are describing.

It is not a 'massive tree'. It is a little tree that has now been stunted to look like a bloody cactus.

And there is nothing 'supportive' about being a perve.

we have neighbours over the road that have planted a "nosey neighbour tree" I didn't realise it was a thing! it was to stop this ndn being nosey and watching them coming and going

I would be putting a row of pear trees along that fence. They would look rather nice.

If that becomes a problem, Eucalyptus is your friend. It would keep him busy for years.

This sounds like something that ends with 'I woke to find him standing at the end of bed'
I wouldn't wait until you bump into him, I'd go round today and go right through him and tell him not to txt you again about sunbathing etc and make sure his wife hears it all.

@ivykaty44

we have neighbours over the road that have planted a "nosey neighbour tree" I didn't realise it was a thing! it was to stop this ndn being nosey and watching them coming and going

I have helped a designer friend plant trees in new gardens on new estates. Judicious placement of appropriate trees can block out nosey neighbours and create privacy without the need for tall hedges.

I remember one was pear, so good choice.

@RocketFire7

This is a tough one. Obviously it’s not ideal having your tree trimmed, but perhaps he thought he was just lending a hand.

There are also some neighbourhoods which really like to encourage getting to know each other- I can see how a high tree or fence would be out of place with this ambience.

Personally I’d suck it up in the interests of supporting the neighbourhood culture and developing good neighbourly relations.

Are you serious? It is not a tough one at all. He has clearly deliberately decimated a young tree that doesn’t belong to him. There is no excuse. It’s just the same as him smashing the OP’s window.

I think I'd be looking for something like this - if you search on 'garden sail' loads of companies sell them, e.g. canopy.cunninghamcovers.co.uk/garden-canopy/rectangular-garden-sail-canopy

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]

First of all this is in the UK, not the US.

Secondly, where on earth has the Op mentioned garden parties?

ThIrdly, having a pervert who cuts your trees back so he can have a better view of you is not the kind of 'ambience' a person would want in their neighbourhood.

[quote RocketFire7]@milkyaqua

As I say, the circumstances are not ideal. But there is clearly a really unique and friendly culture in the OP’s neighbourhood with neighbours looking out for each other and garden parties etc.

Massive fences and trees are not compatible with that supportive ambiance, so I can see why the neighbour has taken action. Particularly because house prices may be affected if that atmosphere were lost.

There was a similar circumstance in my area where a neighbour started to install a high fence. Neighbours held an emergency meeting and she was instructed to stop works immediately.

In the US, Homeowners’ associations are very common. They carry out inspections and can and will instruct contractors to trim trees or remove unapproved patio furniture.[/quote]
Fucking hell you lot sound like an absolute nightmare!

And by you lot I mean you and your neighbours.

send a man round

Actually, I bet Alan Titchmarsh would be pretty cross about the state of your tree.

See if he'll pop round at the weekend and tell the creepy fecker to back off?

I would catch the wife or put a note through the door and say that there was some criminal damage done to your garden while you were away. Before you report it to the police could they please let you know whether they saw anyone in your garden. If so could they give a description so that you can pass it on as part of your report.

You could also mentioned that you will be putting up a camera to cover your garden in case the vandalism was targeted at you rather than random.

That’s creepy as fuck. Can’t believe he trimmed your tree! I’d be so cross.