Snooping neighbor has cut the top off my tree so he can get a better view into my garden. How should I approach this with him

[mug2018]

I'll start off by saying that I live in a really lovely close, where my neighbors are in red supportive & kind (I'm a recently divorced single mum)
My Nextdoor neighbors are generally really kind. Pop round to feed the cat when I'm away, put my bins out, help me with jobs I'm stuck with etc. However, Mr Neighbors is so unbelievably nosy. For example, when I was sunbathing on my trampoline he text me to check I was ok as he had 'noticed' I'd been asleep for a while 😳
He regularly comments on what I've been doing when I've been in my garden 😣
On a number of occasions I've directly told him to stop nosing into my garden, and also in front of his wife (she told him off too) (he looks out of their upstairs, spare room window)
I have a tree that I'm growing to try to mask his view. I was away for a few days over Christmas and having come home, I see it's been cut to the level of the top of the 6ft fence. It's not s massive tree but it will help when (if it ever is allowed) to grow.
I'm amused but equally fuming.
My partner is going to build a canopy over my patio in the spring that will mask his view, but for gods sack ... this has now pissed me off.
How would you approach this. They are generally really nice and kind people, but this is just a step over the mark 😩

Go to the police. Seriously.

There’s quite a few red flags, and if you explain that he has been watching you in the garden and now has cut your tree (criminal damage) without permission/while you were away, and you think it is so he has a better view, you will hopefully get a sympathetic hearing and someone coming to give him a warning.

It is something that is clearly criminal out of all the boundary-pushing things he’s done, so now is the point to involve authorities.

[quote RocketFire7]@purpleme12

We believed that the fence was going to be unsightly significantly higher than others in the area, and would ruin the ambiance and appearance of the neighbourhood. It would therefore have damaged house prices.

Fortunately we held an emergency meeting as a community and instructed the homeworker to stop work immediately.[/quote]
That is insane. I'm so glad I don't live there.

This is becoming more common in the UK, new developments do sometimes have rules regarding Vans, Caravans, Maintenence Etc etc. Lowering the tone of the neighborhood that may reduce house value, may well get you sued.

@Crazykatie

This is becoming more common in the UK, new developments do sometimes have rules regarding Vans, Caravans, Maintenence Etc etc. Lowering the tone of the neighborhood that may reduce house value, may well get you sued.

Usually only at the front of the house. I couldn't erect a high fence round my front garden but the builders put 6ft high fences up in the back.

@2bazookas

Just mention to his wife that her husband is SUCH a sweetie, always keeping a close eye on your safety whenever you're out in the garden.

Don't do this. The situation requires plain speaking.

You’re being far too generous saying how nice they are, this is creepy.

@Crazykatie

This is becoming more common in the UK, new developments do sometimes have rules regarding Vans, Caravans, Maintenence Etc etc. Lowering the tone of the neighborhood that may reduce house value, may well get you sued.

To be fair there are covenants on many properties covering such things and have been for many years. They are just not enforced. My property is over 100 years old and I'm not allowed to keep pigs or fry fish. I think there's something about mining too!

@BeagleBeagled

I think rocket is taking the piss, surely 🤔.

I'm particularly enjoying the use of the word "ambience" in every single post!

Pervert is the politest word I can think of about this man. Others have offered advice of how to tackle this.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/my-nosy-neighbour-cut-down-25889662

I'm surprised it took so long

[quote RocketFire7]@youvegottenminuteslynn

I think it is reasonable, yes. It ensures a level of consistency across the neighbourhood and increases house valuations.

The other issue is that if you allow people to use different coloured chips, they will then move on to more serious breaches.[/quote]
😂😂🤞
Land of the free,yay!
Luckily an Englishman's home is his castle. Or her castle of course. Who would want to live somewhere where neighbours - strangers - had that degree of control over how they managed their own property?

@mug2018 - I know what I’d be attaching the shade sail to… Mr Neighbour would be irreparably “changed” anatomically during the first light breeze. I have no doubt that all his Christmases came at once when you and your teenaged DD moved in. Eeeew!

[quote RocketFire7]@youvegottenminuteslynn

I think it is reasonable, yes. It ensures a level of consistency across the neighbourhood and increases house valuations.

The other issue is that if you allow people to use different coloured chips, they will then move on to more serious breaches.[/quote]
Jesus Christ I would be having a visit then

A lot of my neighbours have redone their front gardens and replaced with Cotswold stone, which are frankly dull and boring. Regardless of what TV shows will tell you Cotswold stone quickly goes grey boring colour

I have red stones

I have no doubt that all his Christmases came at once when you and your teenaged DD moved in. Eeeew! yes, and especially when the hot tub arrived!

Re the poster with the obsession with maintaining the ambience of the neighbourhood and emergency meetings about fences, there's a brilliant episode of Third Rock from the Sun when they move into a smart condo and Sally slowly gets drawn into the Residents Committee until she's the Chair and bordering on maniacal in her obsession with petty regulations and conformity. It's very Stepford. I need to dig out the dvds again.

[quote RocketFire7]@youvegottenminuteslynn

I think it is reasonable, yes. It ensures a level of consistency across the neighbourhood and increases house valuations.

The other issue is that if you allow people to use different coloured chips, they will then move on to more serious breaches.[/quote]
So what happens when this self-appointed 'committee' approaches these homeowners and are a) laughed out of the front gate and/or b) told to fuck right off their private property and mind their own business? Asking for a friend 🤣

@2022HowDoYouDo

Re the poster with the obsession with maintaining the ambience of the neighbourhood and emergency meetings about fences, there's a brilliant episode of Third Rock from the Sun when they move into a smart condo and Sally slowly gets drawn into the Residents Committee until she's the Chair and bordering on maniacal in her obsession with petty regulations and conformity. It's very Stepford. I need to dig out the dvds again.

I should so watch this I love this programme

I just found the episode, it's S03 E22 "Just your average Dick"!

"We are just upholding wholesome American standards, and if you don't conform then we will destroy you."

It's worth remembering that the origin of home owners' associations in the USA is to prevent black people, Jews, asian people etc. from living in neighbourhoods where white people lived. They were tools of segregation for those living in supposedly desegregated states.

They are not something that I will ever praise, regardless of their supposed effect on house prices.

Just wondering @mug2018, whether you've had an opportunity to discuss the cutting down of the tree top with your neighbour/neighbour's wife? If you did, how did it go??

Hi .. sorry it's taken so long to give an update.
Yes .. I confronted my neighbor about both his spying & cutting down my tree. He initially just laughed but then I 'launched' into more 'direct' language & pointed out how inappropriate & unacceptable his behavior is. I made it clear that it needs to stop.
I also spoke to his wife & gave her examples & occasions when he has been inappropriate - she was mortified, embarrassed & incredibly apologetic
He is now (in her words) sulking & is now avoiding me .. thank god.
I also spoke to another of our neighbors who is friends with my NDN, & they were shocked & horrified at how he had been behaving & very supportive of my situation
All in all I feel much better & confident that it will not be re-occurring - I've made it clear if it does, I will be making his behavior more public (rightly or wrongly)

Fantastic update! Hope he continues to behave himself

Good on you for calling him out.

I remember your post and have wondered how things were going. Well done for confronting him so directly and it’s great to hear his wife and your other neighbours have taken you seriously. Go you!
I hope you and your daughter have a relaxed summer in the garden.

👏👏👏👏👏