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Original poster

Snooping neighbor has cut the top off my tree so he can get a better view into my garden. How should I approach this with him

256 replies

mug2018 · 07/01/2022 08:56

I'll start off by saying that I live in a really lovely close, where my neighbors are in red supportive & kind (I'm a recently divorced single mum)
My Nextdoor neighbors are generally really kind. Pop round to feed the cat when I'm away, put my bins out, help me with jobs I'm stuck with etc. However, Mr Neighbors is so unbelievably nosy. For example, when I was sunbathing on my trampoline he text me to check I was ok as he had 'noticed' I'd been asleep for a while 😳
He regularly comments on what I've been doing when I've been in my garden 😣
On a number of occasions I've directly told him to stop nosing into my garden, and also in front of his wife (she told him off too) (he looks out of their upstairs, spare room window)
I have a tree that I'm growing to try to mask his view. I was away for a few days over Christmas and having come home, I see it's been cut to the level of the top of the 6ft fence. It's not s massive tree but it will help when (if it ever is allowed) to grow.
I'm amused but equally fuming.
My partner is going to build a canopy over my patio in the spring that will mask his view, but for gods sack ... this has now pissed me off.
How would you approach this. They are generally really nice and kind people, but this is just a step over the mark 😩

OP posts:
PainterMummy · 07/01/2022 10:40

I don’t think you should wait until you see them together but rather if you fairly certain they’re home together, go over as soon as you can and use what @Snufkin2 suggested. Nip this in the bud now. What he’s done to your tree is horrendous and if he was worried about shade in the summer - it’s not bloody summer now
He had most likely killed your tree.

Whatever he says, you need to say in front of his wife that you’d appreciate he not touch any of your plants/trees and yo key you know if he had any concerns so that you can address them. That you’re very disappointed he’s killed your tree and that now you’ll have to replace with a more nature tree come spring as you very much were hoping g to enjoy more privacy in your garden.

MakeUsACuppa · 07/01/2022 10:41

Cheeky bugger!

I'd definitely call him out on damaging your tree, in fact I'd want him to replace it. I'd also be letting his wife know.

Cavagirl · 07/01/2022 10:41

@mug2018

Thank you for your replies. The cat thankfully (albeit it very sad) is now dead so he no longer needs to come into my house. I have a camera at the front and when he did come in, he always came with his wife and they were only in a couple of moments so I'm confident that he's not a draw snooper 😆. I have the key back now the cats gone. The tree is fairly small so no overhanging branches & it will take time to grow to fully obscure his upstairs window (although it'll take longer now) his snooping window is the one nearest my house. The canopy will definitely block his view I will definitely approach the tree cutting when I next see him - hopefully when his wife is also with him. He even commented that I 'hadn't used my hot tub much' when I was putting it away 😳. Thankfully this was hidden from his view by a temporary canopy & I had used it a lot so at least he's missed that. 😩 had he got nothing better to do 🤦‍♀️ Thank you for your advice
Hang on, he's not just trimmed one branch, he's trimmed the lot - the ones at the front towards the camera too - I don't believe he's done this from his garden, although difficult to tell the distance from the fence in the photo. Has he let himself into yours to do it??
BatshitBanshee · 07/01/2022 10:45

Report to the police then tell them did they see who did it/what happened as you've reported it and needed the crime ref number for insurance.

Then attach bamboo to the top of your fence and plant a row of conifers. He's a creepy fucker.

And change your fucking locks. If he made a copy ... Yikes.

Seeline · 07/01/2022 10:47

I think that it has been trimmed all over too. Is that possible without entering your property?

I also think the shape of the tree will have been ruined. I would be seeking a replacement tree. That should discourage him from further trimming in future.

UrsulaBursula · 07/01/2022 10:51

I’m confused how he trimmed the whole tree without entering your garden?

Does he still have the key to your garden?

How big was the tree before he cut it? It looks like it’s been completely hacked off. Unless it looked similar to that when you bought it. Which then makes me question why the need to cut it!?!

Original poster
mug2018 · 07/01/2022 10:54

@KittenCatcher camera 😳 bloody hell, I hadn't noticed that. I need to look into that more.
Christ, I think I've been way too soft here.
😳😡

OP posts:
Lougle · 07/01/2022 10:57

@KittenCatcher

Is that a camera attached to his security light.
It's just a PIR sensor, I think, to make the light go on when something moves in the garden.
Twinkleylight · 07/01/2022 10:58

It looks like it's pointing more towards the Op's garden than his though.

Palmfrond · 07/01/2022 11:01

It’s not very feminist but I’d consider getting your husband (if you have one) to do the footwork on this one. My wife had some trouble with a shitty tradesman a few years ago who was being pushy with her (via email) for money. I sent him a perfectly cordial email telling him he’d be dealing with me from now, and whaddaya know? Poof! Gone.
Further to that, wouldn’t fuck about with any of the ruses suggested. First get your keys back. Ask him, very neutrally, if he made copies. Then be direct; You know who did that to your tree. He did. Ask him to replace it, tell him you do not like being watched while in your garden. You (or your husband/bf/brother) can say all these things with absolute cordiality, and he will still get the message.
Honestly, in every house I’ve ever lived in, the neighbours have been freaks. One way or another. It’s amazing. And it’s probably true of everyone.
Give keys to someone normal(-ish) from your local mums scene, or a slightly more distant neighbour. Never the next door neighbour. Ever. They are always freaks. Ask me how I know.

WaterBottle123 · 07/01/2022 11:01

Can't believe how relaxed you're being OP. I'd definitely report for criminal damage, this has made my blood boil

5zeds · 07/01/2022 11:01

Honestly, I’d cry if someone did that to one of my trees. Sad

AgathaX · 07/01/2022 11:02

Why are you waiting until you next see him? That's giving him the message that you're not really bothered. Get over there this weekend and have it out with them. Please stop being so passive over this stuff.

Nanny0gg · 07/01/2022 11:03

@BornOnTwelfthNight

Are you sure it wasn't blocking the sunlight into his garden that's why he cut it?

It doesn’t matter if it’s blocking sunlight into your garden, as long as the branches aren’t overhanging you have no right to reduce the height of a neighbours tree, regardless of how big it gets.

Unless we're talking leylandii here and then it's a court matter.
Nanny0gg · 07/01/2022 11:04

Which we're not with the OP obvs.

KittenCatcher · 07/01/2022 11:04

Even if its just a motion sensor he still shouldnt be leaning over cutting your tree or sending you creepy messages.

Loudestcat14 · 07/01/2022 11:06

He's butchered your poor tree! How dare he – it was clearly not overhanging his side of the garden but it was obscuring his camera, which is clearly attached below the light. It's not even pointing in the direction of his garden, it's clearly pointing in the direction of yours!

I think he's perving on you and you need to put a stop to it. How old is he, OP?

EerieSilence · 07/01/2022 11:08

Your neighbour sounds like a creep.

Hemingwayscatz · 07/01/2022 11:09

It’s not very feminist but I’d consider getting your husband (if you have one) to do the footwork on this one.

She literally points out the fact she’s a recently divorced single Mum in the first sentence.

OP, your neighbour is a total creep. You need to install some cameras and keep a log of his strange behaviour. I wouldn’t be so friendly towards him in future and certainly never allow him in your home again. I’d ask him not to trim your tree again because it’s illegal and you’ll contact the police if he does.

RememberThePenguins · 07/01/2022 11:15

I think you need to put up a trellis all along that fence. Maybe some fast growing bamboo (in pots, don't plant it directly in the ground) plus a security camera to deter any stealth gardening.

HoppingPavlova · 07/01/2022 11:17

Two words. Non-spreading bamboo.

Halsall · 07/01/2022 11:23

It's pretty obvious that it's not just the leader that's been cut - assuming you weren't the one who pruned any of the other branches, OP? He'd have to lean over a fair way to get at them, too....if not be in your garden.

I don't suppose you have a 'before' picture for comparison purposes? I'd be absolutely furious about this if it were me.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 07/01/2022 11:26

As this is in the USA I can't be sure what to do.

Notonthestairs · 07/01/2022 11:27

I don't think it's a camera below the light. I think it's a motion detector. We have similar lights along our side return to deter burglars.

whynotwhatknot · 07/01/2022 11:28

He had no right to do that its criminal damage -i would do what a pp said ask if you can see their footage as to who cut it as your phoning the police

if he fesses up ask him not to touch your property agan or you'llbe reporting him

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