To be in such trouble for seeing my son tonight.

[EllsandMum]

My son has had quite difficult behavioural issues as a teen, due to a result of this he’s ended up in voluntary care.

I see him once a week of an evening to go for a meal or coffee as my husband won’t let him in the house.

Now every time it’s contact day my husband will pick all day and then just before it’s time to leave blow up an argument saying that I’m selfish asking him to look after the little ones because it’s not fair for him to cook tea for them whilst I’m on a jolly.

I said it’s 5-7 due to by the time he finishes school it’s easier that way and only once a week, I do tea bath etc every other night of the week.

My husband is saying that I’m abandoning our little ones for my son and it’s just breaking my heart as he’s saying it’s not doable and isn’t happening anymore.

I offered to do a different day but he said no because any day doesn’t work for him.

Now he’s asking me to move out.
I feel so alone and low.

@Wheresthebeach I might be a be a bit thick here but zombie thread? lol

@KellyTelios Did you ever think OP might not want this thread revived?

Old thread that’s been brought back to life.

A long time ago a relationship expert was dealing with a similar situation where the husband said he earned the money etc. the expert said ‘ in a marriage or partnership you are both in the same boat, paddling up the same river, who pulls in the fish is irrelevant’. Tell your husband that.

Haven't RTFT.

Quickly - over a course of hours or days or a week depending on what you perceive is the right timeline for you, and any professional advice you get - gather your documents, personal effects, a few cherished items of your children's. Also gather any evidence however small of his behaviour, and make notes while you are still there of what has happened each day. You may want to squirrel notes, items and backups of data at work or at a friend's house.

Then take the children and leave this so and so, and rebuild your lives including your eldest child's.

Go over to Relationships for more help and support with regard to how to leave, what to do if you feel unsafe, when to involve the police, where to get general help professional, what to do if he locks you out without the children, etc.

I know this is old, but I really hope you got away from that nasty man and are now happily settled in your own house with all your children.
Hope this Christmas is better than last.
💐💐 @EllsandMum

Haven't RTFT

Clearly. You and others. This thread is from January.

He doesn’t like what you have done and he is punishing you to try to stop you. He needs to grow up and accept that you can do things without his blessing and absolutely you can see your son. He doesn’t have to be there. Unless your son has damaged your property I’d also say he should be able to visit you, your husband can go out if he doesn’t want to see your son. Sadly your husband seems to think that he can make your son not exist. Not very grown up!

I'm sorry you've had to put up with this abusive man for so long, and that your mother is such an idiot. Cuddling your husband is the last thing you should be doing. I hope you get the help you need, OP.

@EllsandMum Can you say what part of the country you are in?

She's obviously in Ireland, probably Dublin judging by the rents

She may have moved, she last posted on this thread 9 months ago…

Is your eldest son’s social worker aware of the situation? There are ramifications for your boy which ss need to know as he probably needs counselling . There is the possibility if SS know what is going on that they may be willing to provide support regarding your future accommodation.
Your husband’s behaviour can be regarded as abusive towards your younger children and you need to demonstrate that you are a protective parent. This again would be in your favour re ending this relationship and securing you accommodation.
Good luck

THIS!